Never Been Kissed

No, this is not an admission. This is a movie. But you all knew that.

So, I saw another preview for Entrapment. Catherine Zeta-Jones is naked! Ok, you don’t see anything because it’s just a preview, but still, there might be more in the movie. (Yeah. That’s exactly what they want you to think. I know. She’s really a prude.) This movie better be good. I almost lost faith in Sean Connery after seeing The Avengers (what a disappointment! Horrible!), but I don’t want to say it officially yet.

Now, on with the movie. Never Been Kissed is another in a slew of 80s meets 90s high school romantic comedies. Ok, not many actually take place in high school, but it plays a big role. Grosse Pointe Blank, Romy & Michele, Wedding Singer, now this one. So far they’ve all been pretty good.

In this one Drew Barrymore plays Josie Geller. Her nickname in high school was Josie Grossie. Now she’s a very plain looking copy editor for a Chicago paper. She’s kissed guys (she says), but she’s never really been kissed. Kissed like the penguins that know their mates when they first see them. (See the movie. You’ll understand.) She wants so badly to be a real reporter, but her boss (John C. Reilly from Boogie Nights and Hard Eight) doesn’t think she’s ready. She’s also the best copy editor he’s ever had (which is constantly shown when she corrects people’s speech). His boss (Garry Marshall of Penny fame) has other plans. He wants a really good story, so he sends his youngest looking employee (Josie, of course) back to high school.

Josie’s brother, Rob (David Arquette) warns her of her old high school days (he started the whole Josie Grossie thing), but she does it anyway. Now she’s having a hell of a time trying to fit in, especially when the first person to talk to her is the school geek, Aldys (Leelee Sobieski–Helen Hunt, Jr. from Deep Impact and A Soldier’s Daughter Never Cries). Now she has to build her reputation up from the ground and become popular with the three Heather-type characters and the “dream-guy” who looks like the lead singer of Matchbox 20. (Why are these girly boys so attractive to women these days? It’s like, the sissier you look and the more make-up you wear, the more manly you are? Huh?) Then there’s Sam, the teacher that all the girls are after (Michael Vartan from The Curve (aka, Dead Man’s Curve) and The Myth Of Fingerprints–looking a lot like Breckin Meyer). He has a girlfriend, but he starts to get attracted to Josie. This is where John and Garry want their story to come from. Can Josie bust the man that she thinks is finally going to kiss her? Will he kiss her? These questions and more will be answered in the next installment of Drew’s Dilemma.

When we started this movie I thought that it was going to be just like Drew’s last movie, Home Fries: stupid. It moved in the opposite direction, though. Home Fries started out good (with a really dark beginning that was actually pretty funny) and just got worse with the exception of Catherine O’Hara. Never Been Kissed started out really slowly (and kinda stupid) and ended up getting better as it went along. As she started getting closer to coolness and Sam and farther from Aldys and her Denominators Club, it got better and better. The prom was really funny. The theme was Famous Couples Throughout History. I don’t think any high schooler would have to guts to dress up as one of the Village People, though. But I did like the Hunter S. Thompson/Ludlow duo. Nice touch.

As for the actors, it’s always good to see Drew. She’s definitely getting better. Ever since Everyone Says I Love You and Scream I’ve really liked her. She was just another Hollywood weirdo before that. Now she seems to have reached her pinnacle with The Wedding Singer and Ever After. Hopefully Home Fries was a one time drop. She produced this one, too, so maybe she’s branching out. Could we be adding Director to her credits soon? Hmm. Anyway, it’s weird seeing her look so plain in the pre-back to high school days and so gross in the flashbacks. She’s a really cute girl (and my age–You out there Drew?), so it’s hard for me to see her look like that. But, even though she’s supposed to be a character from As You Like It, she starts looking like Cinderella at the end. (Hey, haven’t we been here before, Drew?) And I also know now that she can act. There’s a scene where she eats some pot cake. When she starts acting crazy (dancing on the stage with the band, slapping bongos and her butt–ya know, regular druggie stuff) I forgot until much later that this was her life. She spent much of her life doing worse drugs and marijuana and did worse things than act crazy. You would think that, in a scene like this, someone with that kind of reputation would make you remember those times. I was so engrossed in her performance that I didn’t even think about it. And that’s not like me at all. Anytime I can make an embarassing connection like that, I do it.

It’s also always cool to see David Arquette. He’s probably certifiably insane, but he’s still awesome. When he shows up in the high school things really pick up. Leelee Sobieski was the real surprise here. I didn’t even know that she was in it until she showed up as the “Alpo Girl.” Why anyone would think that she’s a dog, I dunno. That’s like saying that Helen Hunt is ugly. I don’t think so! She’s also a very good actress, by the way. I haven’t seen A Soldier’s Daughter, but I hear she’s great in it. Although, how could she ever beat her role in Jungle2Jungle?

Then there was some pretty cool music. Any movie that has “Watching The Wheels” (my personal favorite John Lennon song) has to be good. Then they played “At My Most Beautiful,” one of the best songs off the latest album by one of the best bands of the 80s, R.E.M. (Yeah, they’ve come downhill. This isn’t one of their best songs, but it’s still one of the best ones on Up.) Maybe I like it because it was written as a homage to one of the best bands of the 60s, The Beach Boys, which show up later with “Don’t Worry Baby.” Good song choices and lots of references to Josie and the Pussycats. What more can you want?

Maybe I liked this movie so much because I can totally relate to it. I was one of the biggest dorks in high school. (For my friends now, multiply my current dorkness by about 5 if you can imagine it.) I was in band and technical theatre. And I spell theatre with the e at the end! What a dork! Then there’s the fact that I’m still looking for “the one,” but who isn’t? (Is there anybody out there?)

So, for all you high schoolers out there (I know there are a lot who read my page–yeah. Right.) the main message of this movie is: Don’t be so cruel to the geeks. They’ll grow up to rule you. And some of us are pretty cool once you get to know us. Not to mention pretty good looking in Leelee’s case. (Down boy! She’s too young!) And, if you’re a geek, don’t let the popular people get you down. All you really need is one popular person to like you and you’re in. But, if you do get in, don’t lose sight of your old friends. Bring them in, too. Remember them? They were your friends first.

Anyway, enough semi-preaching (can you tell I’m close to this subject?). It was a good movie. Just get through the first half hour and you’ll be rewarded.