The Messenger

Earlier this year, one of the networks decided that it would be a good idea to make a movie about the French hero Joan of Arc. They got Leelee Sobieski to play the lead role and Peter O’Toole to play the bishop or priest (or whatever) that was against her. (They also had the misfortune of casting Doogie Howser in the role of the king, but that’s a different story.)

That movie was a precursor to Luc Besson’s new epic. This time, however, Mr. Besson got his former wife, Milla Jovavich, to play the lead, John Malkovich to play the king, Faye Dunaway to play his mother in law and pretty much no one else.

I know there are some of us who know nothing about Joan (I was one of them until I saw the tv movie), so I’ll recount a little history here. Joan grew up in a small village France and started hearing voices that she thought were God early in life. Then her village was burned (foreshadowing?) and her sister was killed. Her family sent her off to live with her aunt and uncle so they could rebuild the town. Then began a letter writing campaign for her to go see the future king so that she could bring God’s message to him. This way he could defeat the British and win France’s freedom. As the letters come in people start hearing about her and think that she is the one told about in the prophecies. They hold her up as a hero before she’s even given a chance to prove herself.

When she finally does get to see the king, he hides among the masses just in case she’s an assassin, but she finds him by divine providence. (In this movie she does it in a scene not unlike a scene from the original Star Trek series where three young women are running after the crew saying “I am for you Kirk.” Pretty scary.) After this he trusts her with his armies for a while. They win a few battles with her leading the way Braveheart-like (that’ll come up later) and then gets accused of heresy soon after King Charles VII is coronated. Is she really hearing God? Or is she just trying to get revenge? Whatever the answer, she’s burned at the stake as a heretic.

Now, put that into a Luc Besson film. Remember that he was the one who did La Femme Nikita, The Professional and The Fifth Element. Put that weird style into a historical epic without much room for comic relief and you get a fairly weird movie for a French director to make.

First the good news: The battle scenes are pretty awesome. These are, in fact, the best medieval battle scenes filmed since Braveheart. The 13th Warrior be damned. There’s a really cool bit with a catapult, lots of limbs being hacked off, heads being chopped off and some big balls burying men in the dirt. What more could you ask for?

Then there’s John Malkovich. He’s pretty well cast as a simpleton king who only knows what’s best for him after his mother in law tells him. He acts about twenty years younger than he really is and portrays it very well. As does Faye. She’s perfect as the conniving mother who wants her “son” to go as far as possible without the hindrance of little girls playing dress up. Oh, sure. She’s fine when she’s fighting for her son, but as soon as she goes too far, leave her. (Hmm. Sounds like Robert The Bruce’s father in Braveheart.)

And did I mention that Dustin Hoffman was in it? I know the previews make him look like a big part of the movie, but he doesn’t show up until the last half hour of this 2 1/2 hour movie and his part is really weird. He’s Joan’s conscience! She’s supposed to be this pious girl, but her conscience gets the better of her. This is where we start to really doubt her. Maybe she’s just a vengeful little wench.

Now the bad news: Milla Jovavich is fine as a sci-fi “perfect being” who can’t speak English. But keep her away from playing historical figures who were supposed to be prophets from the Heavens. Maybe Luc didn’t mean for her to be portrayed that way, but did she have to be so shrill? Did she have to seem like she was coked up? Did she have to look like Leonardo DiCaprio after she cut her hair?!?! I kept expecting her to scream out “Rose! You know I didn’t do this!” Then, when her hair starts growing back she looked like Leo had taken over the body of Jennifer Jason Leigh and moved in with Bridget Fonda. I used to think that Milla was pretty hot. Now I just think she looks like a twelve year old boy. Hot factor dropped.

Anyway, I thought that Leelee did a much better job. She was at least reserved and a little ethereal. Milla just seemed like a little girl who was barking orders. I couldn’t have followed her. I would have been too annoyed. But these guys, even though they were annoyed at first, ended up loving her and wanting to follow her anywhere. Huh? And what was with her head archer dude? He lost his accent quicker than Costner lost his in Robin Hood.

Then there’s the story: Where is it? I got a lot more out of the tv movie and that didn’t really give me much of an idea. This movie, though, left out entire chunks of the story. She’s a little girl in one scene. Next scene she’s a teenager and she’s being talked about by everyone in France. How did that happen? Who knows? I guess Luc thought it wasn’t important, so he left it out. Well, I’ll tell you what he did. He just left out the body of the letter, that’s all.

The movie did get better towards the end, but I was still waiting for it to end. I liked the bits with Hoffman. Those were interesting. And it was pretty well directed and shot, as always. I just had problems with the acting and the story, as always. Luc maybe needs to hire other people to write his stories. Yes, Nikita and The Professional were awesome. The Fifth Element, though had it’s problems in the story/dialogue department. He came up with it as a teenager and I think it showed.

Besson is a great director, he just needs to get great material again. Maybe he needs to stick to organized crime. And where has Jean Reno been in his movies lately? That’s the problem!