Dr. T And The Women

Back in high school which of us guys didn’t think that being a gynecologist would be the coolest job in the world? Come on! You got to see women in ways that only their, well, gynecologists get to see them. Now I don’t think it would be such a great job. More because of David Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers than this movie, though. That and the old adage that all gynos hate women.

And imagine the sex life! He spends all day looking at women from the inside out. Then he goes home and his wife/girlfriend wants him to look at one more. Her sex life would probably be more rewarding, but it would end up feeling like work for the good doctor.

That being said I do not envy Richard Gere’s character in this movie. Dr. Sully Travis seems to be the only gyno in Dallas. Every rich woman in the metropolitan area comes to his office and basically makes his life a living hell. They clog up his waiting room, scream at his receptionists and then insist on unscheduled appointments. (By the way, how many hypochondriacs actually go to their gynos first? Don’t these people have general doctors?)

Not only is Dr. T. having problems at work, but his home life is getting more fouled up every day. His wife (Farrah Fawcett still looking pretty damn good sans clothes) is literally going crazy. Apparently Sully is too good to her and it’s making her revert back to childhood. (Don’t ask.) His sister-in-law (Laura Dern) and her three little girls have moved in with them. The problem with Laura is that she seems to be insane, too. Or just drunk. Or on coke. I couldn’t really tell.

Then there’s his daughters. Dee Dee (Kate Hudson) is supposed to get married soon. But when her maid of honor, Marilyn (Liv Tyler) comes in town we find out a little secret about her. (I’ll just say this: WOW!!) His other daughter, Connie (Tara Reid) knows the secret and constantly says things like, “Don’t you worry about me. Every thing’s fine with me.” Huh? Should we be worried?

Another person we should probably be worried about is Bree (Helen Hunt), the new golf pro at the country club that Dr. T. spends his off-time at. (He seems to spend an awful lot of time there for being as busy as he is.) She’s a free spirit who won’t let anything tie her down. But all bets are off when she and the up until now faithful Sully start an affair. After a tornado that looked like it was created in Gere’s backyard (but was powerful enough to make it all the way to a place with very poor Mexicans living in a desert…there’s no real desert near Dallas. This place looked more like the end of Evil Dead II than any place near Big D) and a surprisingly graphic (but not realistic at all) birthing scene…nothing is really resolved at all.

What’s wrong with this movie? Well, let’s start with the fact that it’s a Robert Altman movie. This automatically sets it on another tier of quality. I’m not really sure why since his failures seem to out number his successes. Maybe it’s because his successes are so freakin’ good that we can totally forget about most of his failures.

And let’s also look at the fact that the 90s were a great upswing for Mr. Altman. With Short Cuts, Vincent And Theo, The Player and Cookie’s Fortune it looked like we could expect a great number of great films out of him. Then again, lately we’ve also had Ready To Wear, The Gingerbread Man and Kansas City–most interesting (except for Ready To Wear), but all generally failures.

Are we ready for another decade like the 80s for The Amazing Mr. A?

This movie is just kind of a mess. None of the characters are very well drawn except for Gere’s. (Surprising since writer Anne Rapp’s last movie, Cookie’s Fortune, was a great vehicle for Altman.) And with a cast this big that’s a major drawback.

And for a movie written by a woman it’s pretty insulting to women. The only smart woman is Bree. Everyone else is either insane or just plain dumb. (To be fair, the only three other men (including Robert Hays and Andy Richter) are pretty dumb, too.) Then again, maybe Anne’s saying that only modern women are really intelligent…but that doesn’t really seem to be the message here. In fact I don’t really know what the message is, but I know it’s got one.

Altman, who is usually amazing with ensemble films like this, just kind of goes through the motions here. The most we get is a great party scene where we get a little bit of info on each character…like all big scenes like this in Altman’s films. No real dialogue, just a lot of chatter and character business. He’s still got his touch with that.

What he doesn’t have his touch with is endings. This one nearly ends with a wedding that reminded me of the ending of Ready To Wear. And that’s not a good thing. At all. Remember all of those really bad comedies from the 60s? The ones with the big, chaotic endings where everyone’s running around not really knowing what the hell they’re doing? (Much like What’s New, Pussycat? and The Party with Peter Sellers–an otherwise great movie.) Back when they actually thought that fast = funny?

Well, Mr. Altman sometimes thinks that way with his comedies. I love you to death, Bob, but what’s up with this?

Amazingly, though, Richard Gere keeps his accent fairly consistent throughout the movie. Unfortunately, so does everyone else. Pretty insulting to Texans, too.

Two bright points, one subtle, one would have been better if it had been subtle.

First, the store names in the mall at the beginning. Someone asks, “Where’s Mom?” when they’re looking for Mrs. T. Pan up to the sign above Guess. A few minutes later, when she’s dancing naked in the fountain we pan up to see a sign that says Godiva Chocolates. Kind of funny, but it should have been a little less pronounced. We’re smart enough to see the signs without the big pan up.

Second, the group wanting to name a freeway after Jayne Mansfield. Now that’s some funny stuff.

Other than that it’s really not worth seeing, which is sad for an Altman film. Unless, of course, you’re either a completist (like me) or a fan of seeing Helen Hunt’s breasts (long shots, but still not bad).