SXSW 01–The Journey/The Trouble With Lou/Climax/Pornstar: The Legend Of Ron Jeremy

THE JOURNEY Occasionally there comes a film that connects with its audience so well that it finds a way to transcend its subject and touch everyone in spite of how trite it seems like it would be. Rarely does one of those films come to a festival. And even more rarely does it ever come from a first time filmmaker.

The Journey is a documentary about a guy and his two friends who set out from Atlanta in a 1971 VW Mini-Bus trying to bridge the generation gap. The want to interview people from the older generation for advice to our generation. What can we do to make our lives fuller? How can we make the world a better place in our own way? Which way do we turn for inspiration and guidance?

I’ll tell you the answer that every one of them gave: inside yourself. Do what you love. Follow your dreams. That’s the only way to be truly happy.

Their first stop was right here in Austin to talk to then Governor Ann Richards (who was in the audience at its world premiere when I saw it). She got them in touch with Henry Winkler. He got them in touch with bunches of people at Disney and the ICM talent agency…and Billy Crystal.

Along the way they pick up an MTV director of photography who gives up her chance to work in Europe to help them complete their mission.

That’s when The Journey turns into a voyage of self-discover. Now, usually I hate to use phrases like that. They’re trite. They’re over-used. They’re stupid. But that really sums up this movie. The four bus riders end up learning about themselves and the two generations. And through it all the audience is right there with them.

This movie hit me pretty hard. As trite and cliched as the whole thing seems it is done so well that you forget that you’ve seen it a million times. But this time it’s real. These folks really were laughing together and crying together. They really cared about what they were doing above all else. They knew that it was an important mission. And the people that they interviewed knew it, too. Even George Lucas gave his seal of approval. They sent it to him to get permission to use a clip from The Empire Strikes Back and, in an unprecedented turn of events, he watched it himself and gave them the rights to do it. He also told them how amazing he thought what they were doing was.

I can’t say enough about this movie, so I think I’ll stop here. Eric Saperston and his crew already have distribution, so we can only hope that this movie gets a wide release. It’s not only a great movie, but it’s an important one. One of those rare documentaries that you could watch over and over anytime you feel depressed about your life. It’ll pick you up and put you on the right track.

THE TROUBLE WITH LOU

This movie will also make you rise to the occasion. It’s about Lou, a young man in the late 50s who has a problem. He’s spending too much time alone with exotic hand creams. Even when he gets a girlfriend he feels the need to pleasure himself anytime he sees girls in bathing suits. The urge is so strong that he drives all the way home to yank it and then forgets to pick the poor girl up.

And, to make it a little more interesting, it’s all done in the style of one of those old 50′s hygeine films.

The real problem here is that it’s pretty much a one joke story, and it holds that joke pretty well…for about half an hour. Then it starts getting a little tiresome. Oh, there are still some funny lines (one that comes to mind is, “The pilot told them that the weather was perfect for masturbating.”), but overall the pace just clinches up.

The filmmakers were there and they said that they still had some tightening to do in the 2nd and 3rd acts. They were showing us their rough Avid cut. Well, I hope they cut A LOT out. Make it a short.

In fact, at one point they show a picture of Paul Ruebens in his Pee-Wee days. Yes, that was kind of funny, but all it really did was remind me of a short that HE did back in the 80s that was pretty much the same thing…and much funnier. I don’t know how you can get ahold of it, but it’s hysterical. It comes complete with a dancing, singing animated penis. (Not the realistic one that’s making its way across the internet right now. This is actually a cartoon.) If you can find this one, watch it instead of The Trouble With Lou. You’ll get all of the same jokes in less time.

CLIMAX

And how else to follow a flick about masturbation than with a movie called Climax.

Well, it could have been a good movie called Climax.

This is about a group of friends at a party who haven’t seen each other since high school graduation two years ago. Now, of course, they’ve all kind of grown up…but not really.

I’m sure that if you were one of the fiends all of this would have been hilarious. But, being an outsider (and seeing as how a lot of the dialogue was incomprehensible), this was crap. It had about three spots where the dialogue was good, but the rest of its 90 minute length was pretty ass wrenching. Imagine watching a bunch of obnoxious people that you don’t know at a party. Now imagine trying to have a good time there. It won’t work.

Not that the acting helped at all. Most of the actors were so bad that I think even Keanu could have taught them a thing or two.

For a movie called Climax, there certainly was a shortage of them here. You know it’s a bad sign when a member of the audience tells the filmmaker, “It was good. Lots of characters.” Yeah, that’s about the only good thing I could say about it, too.

PORNSTAR: THE LEGEND OF RON JEREMY

I went into this not knowing a damn thing about Ron except that he’s short, fat and hairy. I didn’t even know that he has an enormous schwanschtucker.

Now I feel like I kind of know the guy and a little bit about why he’s so popular.

About 25 years ago a young man named Ron Hyatt got his picture put in Playgirl magazine. From that a long and illustrious career in porn started.

Now, at that time he was skinny and fairly good looking. Now, though, why is it that this little guy can still get the babes and a lot of the porn starlets are dying to do scenes with him? Why do guys go crazy when they meet him?

Well, think of it this way: he’s a regular guy just like us. He’s no longer good looking. He’s certainly no male model. He’s just a guy. And any one of us feel like we could be just like him. Except for the monster, of course.

And another thing that I never knew, he and AL LEWIS ARE GOOD FRIENDS!!! How the hell did that happen?

Overall, this is a really fun documentary about an American legend, but it’s not as illuminating as it could have been. It seems like there could have been more said. But, these guys have gotten to be pretty good friends with The Hedgehog, so we wouldn’t get any of the dirt on him. Apparently, though, there is no dirt. He’s a really nice guy who everybody likes. He was at the screening and seemed totally approachable. He even fielded a question about one of the biggest mistakes he ever made: sucking his own dick. “All right. Congratulations. You got a laugh.”

So, if you want to know the man behind the dick, this flick should be out fairly soon. It may be edited a bit (there’s a little bit of nudity in it…go figure), but they’ve got plenty of footage to go in its place.

Check it out if you’re up for this sort of thing.