July 4, 2002

So it’s The 4th of July, that red-letter day in American history where everyone goes out and celebrates their Independence by cooking hamburgers and shooting off fireworks. Traditionalists will tell you that the fireworks are supposed to signify the “bombs bursting in air,” but we all know that they really signify out collective pyromania. Besides, what the hell are those snakes supposed to signify? Gay fireworks? Despite what a lot of people probably think, I am a patriot. I love my country. I love that I’m allowed to say anything I want without being thrown in jail. I love that I can have my own views on everything. I love that I don’t even have to love the president. (I especially love that one.) And I absolutely love that we live in a country that allows a couple of guys from Colorado to make a cartoon portraying every member of Congress joining into a rousing version of “Heat Of The Moment.”

But, of course, all of those civil liberties are under pressure these days because of a few dozen bastards over in the mountains of Afghanistan. And that’s why this 4th of July is so important. It’s time to take a little time out and think about all of those people who lost their lives on and since September 11th and think about what everyone who ever died in a war died for: our Independence. Mr. Bush may forget sometimes what that word means, but it’s up to us to let him know that we haven’t forgotten.

Now, this isn’t going to be your normal, everyday “Pump It Up” type of 4th of July article. No, no, no. You people have come to expect so much more of me. No, this is going to be a State of the Nation, as it were. And there’s something on everyone’s lips that seems to have gotten their short and curlies all up in a bundle. And it’s only two words.

“Under God.”

Why are those two words so important to some and not worth a damn thing to others? Well, I can’t really answer that. I don’t think anyone can. Some say faith. Some say stupidity. Some say irrationality. Some even say bad upbringing.

Well, I say, “What the hell did we do in all of those years before 1954 when those two words weren’t in our Pledge of Allegiance?”

I think everyone knows how I feel about God. I’m not a church kid at all. I haven’t seen the inside of a church (outside of a few weddings) since I was about maybe 15 and that was a Christmas service. Before that I think I was five (maybe younger) and was wearing this horrible little green suit that I kept trying to climb out of. Hey, it was the 70s. What are you gonna do?

I do, however, kind of believe in God. Maybe not as an All Encompassing Supreme Being that created everything we survey. As Douglas Adams once said, that image was probably invented because we were creators and figured that something much like us, but much more powerful, must have created us. I do believe in God as a concept, though, kind like how I believe in Santa Claus. No, there’s no big, jolly fat guy in a red suit who turns his reindeer into charcoal briquettes to get them around the world in an impossible amount of time, but there is a feeling within our hearts that comes out around Christmas time. It makes us want to give. Isn’t that what the New York Sun told Virginia?

Yes, I took John Lennon to heart when he said, “God is a concept by which we may share our pain.” That totally makes sense. The concept of God has helped many people out of jams and through pain. Has God come down from on high and cured them? Probably not, but their idea of God helped them bear what was dealt to them. It’s a concept that lives in almost everyone’s hearts and tries to keep them on the straight and narrow and helps to ease the pain of life.

I think even Atheists can live with that.

Does this mean that we need those two little words in our Pledge? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say no.

Let the hate mail begin.

But I won’t give up without a fight. I believe that this country is for everyone, and that includes people who don’t believe in God. If a kid has been brought up not believing, should he be forced to say a Pledge that basically makes him pledge himself to an entity he doesn’t believe in? Of course not. He should be able to go to school without having someone else’s beliefs thrust upon him.

But, since the religious right minority rules our country now, we have to have it in there. (This is where my duality comes in: I believe in God, but I don’t believe in the church. Funny, that.) And if anyone sits out they’re seen as unpatriotic. No, you fools, they’re just Atheists. There’s a big difference. Most of them don’t thrust their views on you, why do you feel the need to do it to them?

Let me give you a little history lesson real quick.

The Pledge of Allegiance was written in 1892 by a socialist preacher named Francis Bellamy. That’s right. A socialist. He was also a Baptist and completely against racism. (And here begins HIS duality. Wait! Is Mark saying that all Baptists are racist? Of course not. Francis wasn’t.) As his model he used books that his cousin, Edward Bellamy, wrote about a socialist utopia. They were called Looking Back and Equality.

When he wrote the Pledge he wanted to put the word “Equality” in there somewhere. Unfortunately, he knew that the state superintendent for education (under which he worked as a member of his committee) was against equality for women and black people, so he had to leave it out no matter what his personal views were. (See? Don’t thrust your views on others. Of course that particular view…)

He was soon thrown out of the church because of his socialist views and was hired by a member of his congregation named Daniel Ford. As Ford’s assistant at The Youth’s Companion, Bellamy wrote the Pledge and published it.

In 1924, the American Legion and the Daughters of the Revolution (isn’t that a T. Rex song?) changed Bellamy’s words “my flag” to “the flag of the United States of America.” Of course, Bellamy wasn’t very happy about that because the flag is ours. It’s everyone’s, not just the flag of our country. It’s a symbol to each and every one of us. Why not say, “my flag”?

Thirty years later the Knights of Columbus forced their card and had “under God” put in. According to his granddaughter, Bellamy wouldn’t have been happy about that, either, because he was forced out of his church. He even quit going years later because he was sick of the racism he found there.

Today people still change it to suit their own needs. Pro-Lifers add “born or unborn” to the end of it. (shudder) Some more enlightened people add “equality” to it. I’m sure there are some white supremacists who add their own rap to the end.

So the whole thing is very subjective. Congress doesn’t need to pass laws to change it. We can change it ourselves. I hope that a lot of schools take it upon themselves to delete the two “offending” words. (They obviously don’t really offend me, but I don’t really see a reason for them if they offend others.)

What’s really funny is that the religious right will have us believe that this country was founded on a belief in God. That the belief in God was a pillar onto which our great country was placed on. Well, that’s not entirely true. In fact, it’s not true at all. I’ve always heard that a lot of the people who helped lead our country into Independence (especially Ben Franklin, who always looks a little smirky under that “In God We Trust”) were Atheists. They certainly didn’t put “In God We Trust” on our money. That didn’t happen until after the Civil War because of a bunch of letters sent in by preachers who said that we wouldn’t have been able to reconstruct had it not been for The Grace Of God. (That and the fact that we had a lot of money hanging around…without God on it.)

The belief in God is, to me, a very private thing. I don’t talk about it with people unless I absolutely have to, as I did in this article. (You guys have to know where I’m coming from, right?) I don’t push people to not go to church just because I think it’s kind of weird to get together with a bunch of people and sing about something that we’ve never seen or even really felt the presence of. If it works for them, it works. Whatever. It’s not my scene. Why do people who do go to church feel the need to “save” us heathens who don’t buy into all of their beliefs? Is it in their water?

Our nation was based on Freedom. Freedom of Speech. Freedom of The Press. And the Freedom to practice or not practice whatever the hell religion you want to. If our Congress and our president don’t remember that then all might be lost. We may be on the brink of a religious state. No more separation of church and state. No more Freedom of Religion. We all have to be Christian sons and daughters who believe that that guy who was nailed to a cross 2000 years ago was our Lord and Savior. That seems to be exactly what our government wants. Sounds a bit like a certain dictator with bad facial hair a while back.

I believe in the Pledge of Allegiance. I believe that it should be said in schools. It teaches the kids that we should love and protect our country at all costs. That life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are the three most important things in the world. But if you want to add words to it, make it like its writer originally wanted it. Add equality. It’s a patriotic thing, though, not a religious thing.

So, as you’re celebrating our Independence this weekend (because I know the party will go past Thursday…and because I’m cheating and writing this on the 5th-oops.), say the Pledge, but try saying it without those two little words. It may not roll off the tongue the way it once did, but I think we can all get used to it. And, if we all do it enough, maybe the government will hear. Maybe they’ll realize that the religious right is actually a minority. Just because you own the government doesn’t mean that you own the country. That’s what the 4th of July is all about.

For a full history of the Pledge and its writer, check out the historical records on the website for Martha’s Vineyard. I know, it seems odd, but that’s where I got all of my info about it. Hope they don’t catch me.