The Transporter

Guess what? He looked in the package. But let’s start at the beginning.

Corey Yuen is a badass. If you’ve seen Charlie’s Angels or just about any Jet Li movie made in the past 10 years, you’ve seen his work. He has choreographed some of the greatest martial arts fights of the past few years, here and in Hong Kong. He directed a lot of Jet’s Hong Kong films in the 90s (My Father Is A Hero aka The Enforcer, The Legend, Bodyguard From Beijing aka The Defender) and has choreographed all of Jet’s American films. And, more recently, he directed a very strange, but pretty cool flick over there called The Avenging Fist. Something about a Power Glove that helps the cops catch the bad guys and kick ass…but, of course, everybody wants it.

For his American directorial debut he decided to get a little less bizarro, but no less impressive. AND he teamed up with fellow (but French) expatriate and strangely veteran Kung-Fu filmmaker, Luc Besson.

Frank Martin (Jason Statham from The One, Snatch and Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels) is a transporter. What he transports he doesn’t even know. His rules are 1) no names, 2) the deal doesn’t change and 3) never open the package. He’s also one of the best in the business, so he (and his customers) doesn’t let a little thing like a friendly but suspicious probation officer (Francois Berleand) get in the way of a lucrative career.

One day, when he realizes that the package is moving and whimpering, he breaks his own rules. He opens the package to find Lai (cute little Hong Kong screamer Shu Qi, who a buddy of mine says has the cutest ears in Hong Kong), and it’s love at first sight. He cuts a little slit in the tape on her mouth and gives her some juice. Then he throws her back in her bag and delivers her to some guys you just know are bad.

But when they give him another package to deliver that turns out to be a bomb set to kill him, he has to get revenge. He and Lai end up stuck in a plot to deliver slaves that her father is involved in.

But, ya know? The story was almost secondary. The action was the star here. And the action kicked ASS! Corey Yuen made the pasty little British guy look like he could kick Jet Li’s ass. (Although, Jason had a lot to do with that, too. He buffed up A LOT for this role.) Ok, maybe not Jet, but at least Steven Seagal.

There are a lot of really creative scenes that we Americans just haven’t quite caught up with yet, like the oil fight. I can’t imagine an American action flick doing all of the things that Corey did with this one.

And I sincerely believe that Luc Besson should be the only white person to be allowed to write Kung-Fu films. He seems to understand what they’re all about. Kiss Of The Dragon was about rage and darkness and it was all the better for it. The Transporter is about fun. It has a fairly intelligent story and a lot of great action.

All of the actors seemed to be having a lot of fun with, and that always helps with this kind of movie. Jason was very cool as the badass transporter who believes that only his rules weren’t meant to be broken. And Shu Qi was, well, her normal cute self. She’s a great screamer. As far as acting she’s alright. Just enough talent to not be called bad, but not enough to be great. Still love her, though. I’d watch her in just about anything. (Especially some of those early Category III movies she made…heh, heh, heh.)

But there are, of course, some problems. First off, Frank would never fall for Lai the way he did. Basically, he unzipped the bag, looked in her eyes and knew that he would break the rules for this woman. A guy like Frank would NEVER, EVER do that. He would have shoved the tire that he changed back into the trunk and never looked back. But I guess there would be no movie if he hadn’t been curious.

The story was a little too Lethal Weapon 4 for me, too. The final scene is a real killer. Kinda sucked, actually. Too anti-climactic and pretty bad dialogue.

But who cares. The movie was a lot of fun and definitely worth a matinee. Just don’t expect a whole lot from anything but the action.

This review is dedicated to my friends Melanie and Ed. I hope you guys have a long and happy life together and I’m happy to have been around for the start of it.