Catch Me If You Can/Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

Here’s a few previews that are lying to us to make us think their movies are good. SEABISCUIT–From the director and two of the stars of Pleasantville comes the biography of a horse.

That’s right. A horse.

But apparently Seabiscuit was no ordinary horse. No, at a time when the whole world was in a depression, Seabiscuit and his little jockey (played by a too tall to be a jockey Tobey Maguire) brought America some hope.

I don’t really know how. He’s a fucking race horse. People go to the races, put their house up and lose it. Not a whole lot of inspiration there.

I guess I’m just not much of a horse guy, but the only reason this movie appeals to me in the slightest is because of the cast. I’m sure it’ll be a big Oscar winner, though.

A VIEW FROM THE TOP–And speaking of movies that are only interesting because of their casts, Gwyneth Paltrow stars as a brainally challenged young woman who decides to be a stewardess for a fifth rate airline. One of the ones that still makes their stewardess’ dress up like the “sexy stews” of Austin Powers’ universe.

And speaking of Austin, he’s in this one. Playing a cross-eyed teacher for the stews.

Real winner here.

THE GOOD THIEF–The only good preview I saw was for this new Nick Nolte flick. Yep. A new Nick Nolte movie surpasses one with Tobey Maguire and Jeff Bridges. How’s THAT for sad.

I’m not too sure of the story, but it’s something to do with a legendary thief who goes to France to pull a job. It looks really good. AND it’s got a new track from either U2 or just Bono. He covers “That’s Life,” the late 60s Frank Sinatra song. It’s pretty awesome.

Now for a few more lies.

I made the decision to see both of these movies today not for any deep reason, but because their start times happened to work out for seeing both of them right in a row. Turns out that there was a deeper tie between them. They’re both about real people who, in one form or another, lied to America in order to achieve the American dream.

Let’s start with Catch Me If You Can, the new Spielberg flick.

Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) was a high school kid whose family (Christopher Walken and French actress (and Truffaut co-hort) Nathalie Baye) splits up. When he is forced to choose which one to live with, he runs away and becomes one of the top check forgers in the nation. He still is an expert some 40 years later.

When the FBI gets onto his scent they send the head of their newly formed check fraud department to find him. Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) is an ex family man who only has his job. And, for four years, his only job is to find Frank.

Meanwhile, Frank is living the high life, literally. He’s posing as an airline pilot (at a time when airline pilots were treated with respect…maybe a bit too much. One group of kids asked for autographs.), a doctor and a lawyer. Even a Lutheran! He writes fraudulent checks in excess of $4 million.

Why was he doing all of this? The love of his father. He goes to see his dad (who was a bit of a shyster himself–he lies to a store clerk to get a black suit for his son not for an interview, but to play a driver to take him to get a bank loan) a couple of times and basically asks for his approval by buying him a Cadillac. He holds onto his childish dreams of his family getting back together constantly saying, “Go pick mom up in your new Cadillac! She’ll love it!”

As is typical to Spielberg, there’s a lot of father/son stuff going on here. Steven’s dad ran off leaving him, his mom and his sisters alone, so you’ll always find shitty dads in his movies. Frank, Sr. isn’t really a shitty dad (he’s actually quite loving to and proud of Frank), but he also doesn’t seem to want Frank to do right. When he finally figures out what Frank is doing he tells him that he’s doing the right thing by sticking it to the man and that he can’t stop. He can’t ever stop.

Not the advice his son was looking for at that moment.

But, ya know, the boy was good. He was getting paychecks (all forged) for about $300/week (lots of money back in the mid-60s) and was getting laid more than any high school kid ever deserves to.

The performances were all great here. Leo was better here than he was in his prestige picture, Gangs Of New York. Of course, he was given more to do. He’s actually tortured here after a while, as opposed to being told that he’s tortured and then not being given enough to tell US that he’s tortured.

Tom is, of course, awesome as the nearly inept FBI agent on Frank’s tail. It’s the third movie that I can remember where he actually uses a gun (and I don’t count Forrest Gump–which there’s a reference to here) and the second in one year. New trend? But Carl Hanratty is the exact opposite of Michael Sullivan. They’re both professionals through and through (sometimes a bit TOO professional for their families), but whereas Michael was genuinely good at his job, Carl can barely hold a gun and convince himself that he really needs it. He holds it like a stick of dynamite that’s about to go off in his hand. But apparently a lot of FBI guys did that back then. There’s a scene where all we see are hands holding guns and they’re all doing it the same way.

Walken’s Oscar nominated performance is very good as well. He plays against type, but still well within type. Yeah, he’s a loving father, but he’s loving in a creepy sort of way. The way a father who wants you to do good by him no matter what the law says would be. And, let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like hearing Chris Walken tell a story about two mice.

Watch for the real Abagnale as a French cop (which one I don’t know) and check out those opening titles! Pretty fuckin’ cool. Kind of a cross between the Pink Panther titles and that old video game Elevator Action. Loved it. Also watch for Jennifer Garner as a model/whore. And see Martin Sheen look older and older even as his oldest son starts to look more and more like him! Run away from age, Emilio. Run like the wind!

The other movie was about another shyster. Chuck Barris (Sam Rockwell) was the creator of many hit game shows throughout the 70s (“The Dating Game,” The Newlywed Game,” “The Gong Show”) and even had a hit songwriting credit (“Palisaides Park”). He also killed 33 people for the CIA.

Or did he? No one seems to be so sure. The movie makes it seem as if he did, but that’s the more interesting way to go. Who wants him to end up being a Beautiful Minded schizo?

Everything is fine with Chuck as he’s growing up. Ok. Not so fine. His first sexual experience is when he’s about twelve and he gets a younger girl to lick his dick to see if it tastes like strawberry. His family life is all fucked up, too.

Then he runs off on his own to work in television. Why? Same reason everyone else does. Pussy. And boy does he get it. (Listen for a reference to a famous family member of the director’s during the shots of Chuck’s first job.)

He goes home with a cold fish PA (Maggie Gyllenhaal) and meets her roommate, Penny (Drew Barrymore looking as cute as ever…and actually saying “fuck” again!). He and Penny quickly develop a nice, open relationship. They can cum and go as they please, but they are forever tied to each other.

Then Chuck meets Jim Byrd (George Clooney who also directed). Jim is a recruiter for the CIA and tells Chuck that, since he fits the profile, he has to work for them as a hitman.

Things start to get all fucked up after he takes the job. He gets most of his jobs from Patricia (Julia Roberts), a hard-nosed agent who pulls him into her strange web of sex and deceit. He becomes friends with Keeler (fucking Rutger Hauer is in this movie!) and they do a couple of jobs together.

Of course his tv job is the perfect cover for his new job. He gets the network to spring for chaperoned dates to foreign countries for the winners of “The Dating Game” and he goes to kill people. (Watch for the two “losers” on his first hit trip.

The things that start to unravel his story and his life are when he starts to realize that even his contestants are working against him and his country and the fact that a mole shows up within his group of CIA “friends.”

Meanwhile, he is drifting away from Penny.

I don’t know much about Chuck Barris except what’s in this movie, so I don’t know if Sam did a good job of impersonating him or not, but he did a great job with the character. (And this is coming from someone who doesn’t like him too much.) As time goes on he becomes more paranoid and more tortured. He obviously loves to kill people for his country, but he hates that he loves it. And Sam is a little creepy, so he’s perfect.

Clooney, who thankfully decided to not take the lead role, was very good as the mysterious leader of the little CIA rabble. He’s direct, cruel and still charming. And he’s a good director! He stages it up a few times to good effect (walls disappearing with people on the other end of a phone conversation sitting behind them) and even pulls in a few strange angles for us (one shot only shows the top of Chuck’s head as he’s asking about a job). The thing is that I think he quits doing some of his more interesting angles sometime in the middle of the movie. Either that or I just got used to them. Overall, though, a very good job from Mr. Gecko.

The two women in Chuck’s life are also quite good. Drew is getting her acting chops back, while Julia has finally figured out how to play a cold bitch. (Something she couldn’t do a year ago in The Mexican.)

Both of these films are very good and are definite must sees. And they both do something that American film has a habit of doing: they make the bad guy into a good guy. We wanted Frank to get away with his fraud. (And in an era where identity theft runs rampant, that’s a little scary. Good timing on this one, Steve.) We also wanted Chuck to actually be a CIA hitman. (Although, I think his other job did worse things for the world. He beget the current “American Idol” shithole on tv. And I will NEVER forgive him for that. At least “The Gong Show” admitted that no one on it had talent. “American Idol” actually tries (and unfortunately succeeds) to sell us on the fact that there are some of these fools who have talent. IT’S A FUCKING LIE!!! They all suck and should have their “fame” taken away from them! Especially the asshole at the helm. But I digress. I’ll leave it at this: “American Idol” is a tickle on the blue belly of pop culture and it must be scratched.) It’s funny how a well written film can do this. And we owe it all to Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid.

So go see these movies while you still can. They’re both fun and disturbing all at the same time. And they’re both very good.