Hollywood Ending

So I was standing at my local Cockbuster (which I only went into because a friend of mine works there who can get me a discount and they were having a really good sale–I in no way endorse the frequenting of this evil, evil empire) trying to find three movies to buy. (The sale was “Buy 2 Get 1 Free.”) And there, hiding on the shelf, was Hollywood Ending, the latest from Woody Allen. Now, I love the Woodman. We all know that. I would watch just about anything the man puts on film. If he wiped Soon-Yi’s breast sweat on a piece of celluloid, I would watch it. And, you know, lately I feel like that’s exactly what I’ve been watching. His last few movies have unfortunately been pretty lame drivel. Did you guys see Curse Of The Jade Scorpion? Pretty crappy.

Well, against my better judgment I bought it. Hey, it was basically free and I was getting The 25th Hour and The Transporter, too. Not too shabby, right?

I immediately took it home and watched it being the true Woody fan that I am.

Woody plays Val Waxman, a has-been director who is now directing commercials in Canada. (By the way, I doubt that that was really Woody under all of those clothes. AND Canada is NOT like that.) He hasn’t made a real film in 10 years and the studios have all passed on using his difficult ass.

Enter his ex-wife, Ellie (Tea Leoni). She and her new boyfriend, Hal (Treat Williams) have a project that is perfect for Val. It’s a New York film called The City That Never Sleeps and Tea wants him on it. Hal and his team (including George Hamilton as a…um…what was his job again? Anybody? Anybody?) have their severe reservations, but they finally give in and allow Val on the set as long as they can fire him at the first sign of trouble.

Unfortunately for Val, he goes psychosomatically blind the day before filming starts. The only people who know are his agent, Al (Mark Rydell), and the translator for the Chinese cameraman that Val insisted they have. They have to get him through the filming because if he has another flop or gets fired again he’s finished.

Semi-hilarity ensues.

Actually I was pleasantly surprised. No, it’s not a great film. No, it’s not consistently funny like his early stuff. BUT (and here’s the big but), it was at least not a chore to get through and it did have some laugh out loud moments. (The deal that he gets from the studio was hilarious.) This makes it his best movie since 1996′s Everyone Says I Love You. Which is sad because, really, it’s not as good as it really should be.

It was interesting to see him reference the fact that he’s gone downhill. Does he see it, too? Or is he blind to it? He must see it since Val is basically him. He was seen as a genius at one time and now he’s kind of a joke. I hate saying that, but look at him. He’s a 67 year old man who makes a point of having some of the hottest young actresses in his movies (Small Time Crooks not withstanding) playing his love interests. His movies aren’t nearly as funny as they once were, for the most part, they are getting a little tedious.

And here’s the problem: he puts out too many movies! He does one a year. Back when he did one every couple of years he was able to collect enough good jokes to fill a full length feature. Now he’s having to stretch a feature out of a few good jokes. And this film, even though it’s better than some of his recent fare, actually stretches them out even more because it’s almost two hours long! Most of his films are lucky if they make it to 100 minutes. So, yeah, this one is a little overlong.

The performances are pretty good throughout, but I do have one problem with Woody’s performance. And it’s a big one. He does a good job with being blind (there’s one part where he’s gesturing and hits a lamp with his hand…he would never have done this in a film if he hadn’t been a blind character), but he can’t tell where people are! There are times when he is facing the opposite direction of the person talking to him. How does that happen? Is he deaf, too? Hasn’t Woody ever heard the expression, “Follow my voice”?

Well, whatever. It was an enjoyable movie. If you’re all into Woody like I am, check it out. If you’re a big movie geek and you know a lot about the studio system in LA, give it a shot. If, however, you’re just looking for something to make you laugh a LOT, you may want to look elsewhere.

And I say that with all due respect.