4th of July?

Oh, I’m sorry. Did I miss July 4th? Shit. I did, didn’t I? Well, it’s no wonder, what with all the politicking going on lately. (No, it has nothing to do with the fact that all of my friends are lame and didn’t want to do anything that day. Really. It doesn’t.) We’ve lost sight of what the country is really about in lieu of what the government really wants it to be about. You know, war and oil.

I don’t know how many of you have heard about what’s going on here in Texas, but our lovely governor is trying to break up the whole state. It’s called redistricting by the Republicans. The rest of us call it disenfranchising. They’re taking Austin and breaking it up so that some of us are in the same district as Dallas.

Ok, so it’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s close enough. The Repugnants say that it will help minorities. And yet, it gives them more seats. You see, districts that are traditionally Democratic are going to be chopped up and given to Republican districts in little, non-counting pieces. Lloyd Doggett, Austin’s representative for years, will be out of a job. His district will pretty much disappear.

The Democrats walked out last time it came up. And I commend them for it. Many called them cowards, but I don’t see how that can be. They stood up for what they believed in and risked being arrested for it. They didn’t want to vote on a stupid plan and they showed that. Thanks, guys. We appreciate it.

Now Gov. Perry is at it again, calling a special session not to fix the education system. Not to balance the budget. Not to help people. Well, that’s not entirely true. He called it to help himself and his buddies pass even more stupid laws.

He worries about the “homosexual agenda.” (Which, by the way, I’ve always wondered what that is. Color-coordinate the world?) I’m worried about the Republican agenda. It’s much more of a threat. Sure, I guess the gay people could “destroy the sanctity of marriage” (although some of them are more in love than any straight couple I’ve ever known), but the Repubs could destroy the sanctity of life as we know it.

In national news, the White House has come out and said that they should never have allowed the Shrub to say that Saddam was trying to buy weapons grade plutonium from Africa because (surprise, surprise) IT WASN’T TRUE!!!! It was a fucking lie! Not an out and out lie because, yes, the British government did say that they thought maybe there was a slight chance in Hell that it might be true. Is that enough to tell the whole world that it’s nearly a fact? NOT A CHANCE!!! Bush should have kept his mouth fucking shut. (Well, he should always do that, but since he’s “President” that’s a little out of the question. Unfortunately. The whole country’s IQ would go up about 100 points if he did.)

Of course there’s the usual back track (“The CIA said it was true!” “The words were true. He only said that it was a possibility.”), but the damage is done. The presidency is in question…again. This regime has been in question more than Reagan’s, and that’s pretty bad.

It’s a good time to be a Democrat. Or is it?

But wait. Why isn’t this news? Oh, it is, but it’s not big enough. You see, this should be the news item of the year. The White House was wrong. Their entire reason for the war was wrong. They basically lied to us in order to gain support for an illegitimate war started by an illegitimate leader. They still haven’t found the fabled “weapons of mass destruction.” They won’t find them, either. They don’t fucking exist. And if they do, we had no idea. How do I know? Because we haven’t found them yet. If we had known that they existed we would have found them months ago.

But none of the big news because we’re all worried about Britney’s hymen.

Actually, I’m pretty sure that we’ll “find” them. They’ll all have American flags and Rumsfeld’s finger prints on them, but we’ll find them. We’ll find them right next to Saddam’s dead “body.” Or maybe next to bin Laden’s. (Remember him? Bush is hoping you don’t.)

By the way, what happened to the war on terror? Apparently we’re going after some little guy in Liberia. He’s oppressing some people so Bush thinks it’s our responsibility to go after him.

That’s all well and good. I’m all for helping out the little oppressed guys. But what people don’t realize about this little plan of his is that there’s black gold in them thar hills. That’s right. There’s lots and lots of oil in Africa that hasn’t been tapped. THAT is the reason for our concern over there.

But Charles Taylor is smart. He’s getting the hell out of there. No Iraq for him, please! (By the way, the REAL reason that Bush went after Liberia first: it’s the only country with a president whose name he could pronounce. (Sorry. Stole that one from someone. Don’t remember who.)) So now it’s up to us to get those oil rigs over there so we can start to fuel our SUVs and Hummers.

Mmmmm. Hummers.

Sorry.

Of course there’s more gold out there: black voters. You see, if Bushy helps Africa’s people he’s helping himself to lots and lots of black voters over here.

Some of you will say, “Should we really question why he’s doing it as long as he’s doing good?” And to that, sir, I say, “Yes we should. If the long-run can harm people, then yes, by all means question him!”

Look what’s happening in Iraq right now. We’re still fucking there! Why? We should be gone by now according to what was said at the outset of this bloody war. But we’re still there checking out the oil fields and getting our guys killed.

All of this because of the link between Hussein and bin Laden. Oh, you say there was no link? You say these two guys hated each other? Well, ok, that’s where you’re right. They never would have helped each other out. Bin Laden was probably doing a secret dance of joy when Saddam fled his own country. Of course, on the outside he was saying, “Infidels!! They will all pay! We will fight them like dead dogs!! It’s all for you…erm…Saddamn. Buddy. Pal.”

Meanwhile, over on our side of the pond, we’re all starving for jobs. The unemployment rate is higher than it has been in, um, well, another guy named Bush was in office. And, in fact, I think it’s higher than that! High school kids can’t even get jobs at grocery stores because their parents have all of them.

The education system is in a shambles. The environment is worse. And our government only cares about getting re-elected.

Fuck them. Let’s vote them out. We’ve got about a year before the big election. Let’s find someone to run against this asshole who will clean up his mess. I’m not sure who that will be. Most of the guys have something wrong with them, but not nearly as much as the guy we’ve got now. At least they’re smart.

Personally, I like Dean and Edwards the best. I think they would be good running mates. Edwards voted for the PATRIOT Act and the war, but he’s been questioning the management of them ever since. Dean voted against both, but he got good grades from the NRA. Maybe they would both keep each other in check.

That’s all I can think of for now. Not sure that I can rant anymore. I’m too fucking tired. I have to work 60 hours a week just to get by these days.

Time to take a little time off.

Now, back to writing death threats to Justin Timberlake.