Intolerable Cruelty

Let’s not split hairs. Let’s get to some previews. THE LAST SAMURAI–Looks like America has been training its terrorists for a long time. This is the first real preview I’ve seen of this movie and, as far as I can tell it’s about a Civil War soldier (?) played by Tom Cruise at his Cruisiest who goes to Japan to train their soldiers the ways of modern warfare. Funny thing is that he likes their way better and learns how to be a samurai. Good on him.

I’ll see it because it’s an interesting premise, but I’m not biting at the bit to see it.

LOVE, ACTUALLY–Another one from the makers of Four Weddings And A Funeral and Notting Hill starring Hugh Grant. Will they never get a new star?

Well, whatever. He works in their movies, so who cares? This one is about (I think) 8 different couples who try to work out their love lives during the holidays.

Personally, I’m for it. It looks like a charming little movie with a lot of charming British actors (Hugh, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Rowan Atkinson and Alan Rickman…ok, so those last two aren’t exactly charming, but they are British) and some cool non-British types (Liam Neeson (in a romantic comedy? Weird), Elisha Cuthbert and Laura Linney). I’ll check it out if I can find a date.

MONA LISA SMILE–And speaking of Four Weddings, that director (Mike Newell) is releasing one to compete with his old writer and star. This one stars Julia Roberts (guess which movie wins!) as a teacher in a girls’ college when girls were really only supposed to prepare for marriage. She’s a free spirit who wants the girls to actually learn and use their knowledge in life. Some of the girls (including Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst and Maggie Gyllenhaal–my dream cast…or the cast of my dreams) are rebellious to anything besides status quo, while others take to this “new learning” and run with it.

Julia is right to get herself away from the romantic comedy pigeonhole (after all, she can only do that for so long, right? This is Hollywood we’re talking about.), but this premise has kind of been done to death. It looks alright, though, and the cast is beautiful and talented. I’ll see it on video, maybe not the theatre.

Now, I hate to divorce you from your previews, but it’s time to move on. Let it go.

The Coen Brothers have taken a long, strange trip through film history. They’ve tried film noir (Blood Simple, Fargo, Big Lebowski, The Man Who Wasn’t There), screwball comedy (Hudsucker Proxy), Preston Sturges territory (O Brother), gangster (Miller’s Crossing) and, well, just plain weird (Raising Arizona and Barton Fink). I love all of their movies. They are nearly cinematic geniuses who have about the quirkiest senses of humor this side of Alfred Hitchcock.

Now, though, they’re going over old territory and it’s not going quite as well as their ventures into noir. While I still like the movie, it’s now their weakest effort.

Miles Massey (George Clooney) is a divorce attorney who never loses. His prenups are impenetrable. He’ll lie, cheat and steal to get his client what they “need.”

Enter his toughest competition, Marylin Rexroth (Catherine Zeta-Jones). She is divorcing Rex Rexroth (Edward Herrmann) because of infidelity. Rex would love it if Miles would push his wife out of his house with nothing even though he’s the one who screwed around.

Of course Miles wins because it turns out that Marylin was introduced to him after looking for a very rich and stupid husband.

But the damage has already been done. Miles is in love. And there’s nothing that he or the law can do about it.

The story is predictable. The dialogue is kind of banal. The direction is conventional for the most part. Basically, it’s not a Coen Brothers film. In fact, they didn’t really write it! Sure, they wrote the screenplay, but it wasn’t their story. (They actually nearly fooled me into thinking that Matt Stone was one of the writers. Turns out that this Matthew Stone wrote Big Trouble and Life. There’s our problem.)

The acting, though, is still good. Catherine and George have some pretty interesting chemistry together. I wouldn’t say it necessarily good, but I’m not sure that it was really supposed to be. She’s a cold bitch, remember? George is a little more subdued that he was in O Brother, but he’s still that same sort of character. In fact, instead of being obsessed with his hair, in this one he’s obsessed with his teeth. And that point is made in his first scene and kind of overplayed.

The supporting actors are probably better than the leads. The guy who plays Miles’ assistant (his name doesn’t seem to be on the IMDb) is great and has a lot of the best scenes. Cedric The Entertainer is a PI who takes pictures of Miles’ adversaries in compromising positions. He’s pretty funny, but he gets old and then disappears for a good portion of the film. Billy Bob Thornton is very funny as Marylin’s second husband, a Texas oil tycoon. (“I love ya like a sunuvabitch!”) And Julia Duffy is great as Marylin’s best friend who is even worse than she is.

But there’s just something missing from the film, and I think it’s probably the Coen touch. If they had truly cared about the film it could have been a screwball War Of The Roses. As it is it’s just screwy.

Watch for Bruce Campbell and the table that George and Julia sat at in Ocean’s Eleven in cameos.