So This Is Turkey Day

Life sure has shot us some curve balls this year, what with the political sphere getting all fucked up and our beautiful world being even more fucked up. But today is the one day out of the year where we all stop our bickering, forget our differences and exchange presents to let each other know how we feel. Oh. Wait. That’s Christmas.

Nevermind.

This is the day where we stop all of our bickering and thank the other guy for not killing us.

I was going to think about writing a big, long rant about how fucked up our world is today, but I’m lazy, so I ditched that idea. Then it hit me: an e-mail from someone on the Marx Brothers’ list I belong to that listed 50 things that he’s thankful for. And I’m a sucker for lists. (Yeah, they’re cheesy, but I can’t resist disagreeing with other peoples’ opinions.) And I’m completely unoriginal.

So, here it is: 50 things that I’m thankful for:

1. Rubber Soul (all of their albums, really, but this is my personal fave).

2. Sticky Fingers (ditto up until about 1974).

3. Zevon back in the charts for a little while (although how he did it sucks pretty hard).

4. Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly putting two lists in my mailbox on the same day.

5. At lest two countries still putting out interesting movies (Japan and New Zealand, of course).

6. The Republicans giving comedians something to do again.

7. Takashi Miike (might seem redundant with #5, but he’s worth it).
8. All of my friends having their babies safely. (Sorry about the world we’re bringing you into, kids.)

9. Brandon helping me discover Cowboy Bebop and Rurouni Kenshin (DAMN YOU!!! YOU TURNED ME INTO A BIGGER GEEK!!!!)

10. All of my friends avoiding service in a certain stupid-ass war brought to you by the letter “lie” and the number “greed”.
11. I have helped in the making of more films in the past month than I have in my entire “career” as a wannabe filmmaker.
12. Kind Of Blue
13. There is NNNOOOOOOOO 13.
14. Johnny Cash’s spirit lives on.
15. The Matrix is over (not with a bang, but a whimper).
16. Michael Moore is still alive and kicking the shit out of politicians.
17. The FCC has control of everything again. (Shhh. They’re watching. Don’t say anything ill of them!)
18. Music is still easy to download no matter how many 12 year olds the RIAA sues.
19. The fact that I am not economically viable enough for the Republicans to care about me.
20. REM can put out a “Best of” album that covers their latest decade AND not embarrass themselves.
21. U2 is a viable source of entertainment again for something besides Bono’s politics.
22. Puritans everywhere keeping our children from seeing naked bodies while showing them as much death and destruction as possible.
23. The MPAA–they keep life interesting (but schtoopid) for all of those entertainment types in Hollywood.
24. the Deus ex Machina that took me out of my economic stupor….oh…wait…that hasn’t happened yet (DAMN YOU GREEK PLAYWRIGHTS!!!!!!)
25. Celine Dion coming out of retirement…she’s a better cure for sleeplessness than NyQuil!
26. We’re half way there.
27. The wait is almost over for Return Of The King…but then we have to wait a YEAR for the extended edition!
28. Mom & Pop video stores to battle the Evil Empire.
29. Indie bands and filmmakers everywhere for keeping life interesting on the entertainment reporting front.
30. My indie band friends who cuss me out for saying that one of their favorite bands sounds exactly like The Ataris…’cause it’s just funny.
31. What little output that Douglas Adams did get out.
32. Film festivals that don’t care about getting their films picked up.
33. Digital Technology in all of its forms.
34. The Looney Tunes Golden Collection and all future collections that they say they’re going to put out. (Best purchase I’ve ever made.)
35. Britney’s dipping sales. (And amazingly perky breasts that she’s about two CDs away from showing us.)
36. Arrested Development…the show, not the band. (Forgot about them, didn’t you? Too bad they didn’t forget about their name.)
37. Family Guy on DVD with a possible 4th season coming soon to a TV near you.
38. Rocky & Bullwinkle on DVD. (The show, not the movie. DeNiro wishes you would forget about that one.)
39. I’m still allowed to have my stupid little website.
40. Post-It Notes.
41. Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce.
42. First day of release sales at Target.
43. Theatres that give discounts to Austin Film Society members.
44. I, unlike millions of others in America, have a job. (Albeit a totally sucky one that I wish I could quit tomorrow. But no one’s working tomorrow.)
45. Maxim…porn I’m not ashamed to buy.
46. This list is almost done.
47. Honey, because it will end the careers of the writers of Glitter. (But hopefully not Jessica Alba’s.)
48. Jessica Alba (except for Honey).
49. Charlize Theron.
50. And, finally, the newly reported fact that now even water can kill you.

That’s it, folks. Those are my 50 things. Did I miss something? You like what I said? Direct all comments to that brick wall.