SXSW2004–Napoleon Dynamite/Slasher

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE Remember those kids in high school that no one ever wanted to talk to because they were just so fucking weird? Ok. As soon as you’re finished trying to prove to yourself that you weren’t that kid, multiply yourself by about five and you might get somewhere near Napoleon Dynamite.

Napoleon (Jon Heder) is one of those kids who walks around with his eyes 3/4 closed, his mouth opened and his head just a little higher than everyone else’s because he doesn’t quite realize just how weird he really is. He goes through life pretty much alone with just his older brother, Kip (Aaron Ruell), who goes on about his internet girlfriend and their grandmother (Sandy Martin), who only seems to care about her pet llama.

Things change for Napoleon when he meets two people. The first is Pedro (Efran Ramirez), the new kid and only Mexican at their suburban Idaho school. To impress the hot girl of the school Pedro decides to run for class president with Napoleon as his one supporter. The second person is Deb (Tina Majorino-the little girl from Waterworld!), a girl who turns up on his doorstep selling keychains that she’s made to raise money for college. She’s also a Glamour Shots-type photographer with her own studio in her house complete with cheesy pink backdrops with stars all over them. She’s about as weird as Napoleon, so he instantly falls in love. He just doesn’t know it yet.

That’s pretty much it for the story. Basically we just follow Napoleon, Pedro and Deb as they try to make it through high school life with their own brand of weird. It’s a lot of very funny scenes strung together with the thin little story that the writers decided to give it. Fortunately, the scenes are funny enough and Napoleon is a cool enough character that we don’t care about the story. We’re just glad to be let into his world for a little while. It’s definitely a first film, but that doesn’t matter, either. The roughness just adds to its charm.

The movie is very stuck in 80s culture even though it takes place in the present. That’s party because those cheesy 80s teensploitation flicks were the inspiration for the film and partly because that’s about where Idaho is right now. They’re 20 years behind everyone else. Must be all the potatoes.

The real heart and soul of this movie comes from Napoleon himself. He may be so freakish that it’s hard to believe that anyone like him ever existed, but you know he exists because you remember him. As director Jared Hess says, “there’s a little Napoleon in all of us.” And Jon Heder does a great job of making him human and hilarious. Check out the dance sequence. It’s embarrassingly hard to watch, but so funny that you can’t take your eyes off of it. I think Jon is going to be a star someday. Maybe not huge, but he’ll be known.

And, of course, Diedrich Bader has a very funny cameo in it. (He’s also in Dead And Breakfast.) He kind of plays the same character he did in Office Space, but he’s a little tougher here. Or, at least he thinks he is.

Because the movie is being released in June by Fox Searchlight, the security was pretty high. They wanded everyone going in making sure that they didn’t have any cameras or phones that took pictures. Was that to keep us from making a flipbook of their movie? What these studios don’t seem to know is that still cameras and camera phones can’t do video. Even if they do have a video function, it only lasts for about 5 seconds. It’s hard to pirate a full length feature with that much video. Maybe we could take the DNA from those 5 seconds and make the whole movie out of it.

Those guys are freakier than Napoleon.

Anyway, go check out this movie. It’s freakin’ hilarious and you’ll be quoting it for years.

By the way, against all common sense, this movie was made by Mormons from BYU. There’s no bad language, sex or drugs in it. They wanted to show that you CAN make a movie without those things and still have it be funny. I told a friend that and he said, “How is it funny, then?” I just starred at him.

SLASHER

John Landis has made some of the funniest films in history. The Blues Brothers, Animal House, Kentucky Fried Movie, Coming To America, American Werewolf In London, Innocent Blood, Trading Places…Damn. I can’t list all of them, but that’s close.

Lately, though, his filmography has been going through a slump. In fact, since Innocent Blood in 1992 he hasn’t made a truly great film. (Although I actually do like Blues Brothers 2000. Sorry.) Beverly Hills Cop III? The Stupids? Susan’s Plan?!?! Did anyone even HEAR of that one?

His first film of the 00′s is also his first full length documentary. It’s about Michael Bennet, a man who is hired by car lots to get rid of their old inventory to make room for their new cars. He’s not the most scrupulous, but no one in his profession is. He is a slasher. He travels the country, spending less than one total month a year at home with his beloved wife and son and usually manages to sell hundreds of cars each weekend.

He’s not a normal used car salesman, but he’s the stereotype of one. He’s over the top. He uses any method available to see the cars. He has his crew of guys who could only hope to be the personality he is. And most detrimental of all, he’s pretty much completely unlikable.

That’s right. As interesting of a documentary subject as Michael was, I really did NOT like the guy. The only redeeming thing about him is the fact that he absolutely loves his wife and son and hates the fact that he has to spend so much time away from them. Other than that he’s the worst kind of used car salesman that you can think of. He will cut the price of a car down to $50, but it will be the shittiest car on the lot and will probably break down on you before you get it home.

I was hard pressed to spend an hour and a half with this guy. And since some of the scenes went on way too long it was even harder.

What’s so disappointing (besides the fact that it was a John Landis film) is that it started off with a much better subject! It started off as a political documentary comparing Presidents with used car salesmen. In fact, the opening of the film has speeches by most of the modern Presidents showing what great liars they’ve all been. If Landis had kept up with that theme it would have been a great doc. As it is, it’s just ok with a few funny parts that almost make it worth sitting through.

And, since the subject is SO over the top and almost unrealistic and there were about 50 cameras going at any one time to catch EVERYTHING, I really thought that it was a mockumentary. I thought that there was no way in hell that this guy could be for real. (The shot of the guy taking a leak complete with penis showing made me think that it all had to be staged, too.) But, alas, he is for real. That almost made it more interesting, but not quite.

Landis knows that this won’t play in a theatre, so he’s releasing it to cable. If you get a chance and notice that it’s on check it out. (Especially if you’re a Landis fan.) But don’t go out of your way for it. It’s not bad, but it’s not very good, either.

Even though Landis has kind of lost it as far as filmmaking is concerned, he hasn’t lost his ability to hold an audience. He did a panel during the conference that lasted for about two hours and no one wanted it to end. I was not fortunate enough to see it, but he did introduce this film and he is a VERY entertaining guy. He has a lot of stories about everyone and has some very deep rooted opinions. (He HATES Mel Gibson. Calls him a scoundrel and says that he orchestrated every bit of the controversy surrounding Passion Of The Christ and that he really has no love for his subject at all. I hate to think that Mel is that greedy. And why would you make a Jesus movie for money?) If he happens to pop up in your town definitely go see him. He’s a lot of fun to listen to even if his movies aren’t so much fun anymore.