The Ladykillers

Let’s not kill anybody just yet. Got a couple of previews for ya. ANCHORMAN–I know I’m one of the few people who doesn’t think that Will Ferrell is the funniest man on Earth. I think he’s kind of a chode, actually. He CAN be funny, but I don’t think this movie is going to give him that chance. Maybe because he co-wrote it. Remember the last time he did that? It was Night At The Roxbury.

I rest my case.

I’ve actually seen a scene from this one. (The one in the trailer where he’s lifting dumbbells with his shirt off.) It was completely unfunny until Christina Applegate started pointing out that he had a huge erection. It’s sad when she’s the funniest part of ANY movie.

RAISING HELEN–Ok, so Kate Hudson looks AWESOME on the poster. That certainly doesn’t make this look like a good movie.

In this retread of old formulas that she has taken it upon herself to bestow upon us, she plays a wild girl who has her whole life and career going for her when she is suddenly left her sister’s three kids in a will. Sure, she loves the kids, but can she raise them?

I can’t see where this is going!

Shit, Hollywood. Get a new fuckin’ story.

Now, let’s kill that ol’ lady.

The Coen Brothers, as we all know, are a pair of the most original minds in Hollywood right now. So it’s kind of weird that the last two movies that they’ve made have not been their stories. This one, in fact, is an actual remake.

BUT, to their credit, they’ve chosen a movie that is perfectly within their weird-ass style and is full of weird-ass characters. And it was a great movie to begin with that not a lot of people have seen even though it stars three of the greatest comic actors ever, Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom.

Professor GH Dorr, PhD (Tom Hanks in the strangest role of his career) is the leader of a band of casino robbers. He’s incredibly intelligent (or at least he thinks he is) and extremely proper (perhaps a bit too much so). And he loves literature, especially the works of Edgar Allen Poe.

The Professor’s plan includes the house of one Marva Munson (Irma P. Hall from Soul Food), an old black lady whose only loves are God and her dearly departed husband…perhaps her cat, Pickles, too. She wants to keep everybody on the straight an narrow even if it means beating the hell out of them with her purse.

Unfortunately, his plan also includes his criminal team. There’s Gawain MacSam (Marlon Wayans), the inside man, Garth Pancake (JK Simmons), the explosives expert with explosive bowels, The General (Tzi Ma), a seemingly heartless killer with a very narrow command of the English language, and Lump Hudson (Ryan Hurst), the brainless muscle. These men have never met before this job, and they’re not exactly the best of friends by the middle of the film.

And, as their antics get more and more out of hand Marva starts to catch on. Then it becomes clear that she has to go.

After the minor debacle that was Intolerable Cruelty, I was a little worried about this one. Fortuitously, I needn’t be. (Oh dear. The Professor has infiltrated my speech patterns.) While it’s not a perfect movie by any means (and maybe not as good as the original), it is a very fun, dark movie. Not only is it fun to watch Hanks and Hall go at each other, but it’s fun to watch the Coens have fun with their dysfunctional heroes specifically and the South in general. Their version of the South is bizarre (of course) and pretty dead-on in its excess.

The performances are all good for what they need to be, which is a bunch of stereotypes. (And I mean that in a good way.) JK Simmons was just the right amount of obnoxious (“Easiest thing in the world.”) Wayans was pretty much the same as he always is in this sort of role (see the Scary Movies). Ma was almost scary in his quietly funny way. (“Must float like leave down river of life…and kill the old lady.”) And Hurst was good as the monosyllabic ogre with (of course) a heart of gold. The supporting players were pretty cool, also. Stephen Root as the casino manager, George Wallace as the sheriff and Coen stalwart John McConnell as the lazy deputy were all pretty much pitch perfect.

But really this movie belongs to Hall and Hanks. Irma has all of the wit that she’s always shown in these sorts of roles, but now she has a foil who is her equal. Marva may not be a smart woman, but she has her convictions and she doesn’t let a man with a pretty mouth talk her into anything she wouldn’t normally do.

And, speaking of that man who uses his mouth purtier than a $3 whore, there’s Tom Hanks. I have never seen him so weird in my entire life. He is the center of the film and he owns that creamy center, not to mention the chocolaty goodness that keeps that creamy center in line. His performance is so over the top and perfect that it’s hard to imagine anyone else ever even wanting to take the role.

It’s a pretty faithful remake (except they were going for a bank in the original, but that’s hardly important) and manages keeps the mood of the original. It’s an immeasurable improvement over their last film and certainly a good addition to my Coen shelf. Yeah, it may be pretty stereotypical, but EVERYONE is a stereotype in it. And, really, that’s what the Coens do best.

By the way, am I the only one who noticed the irony of Marva donating money to Bob Jones University? I hope not.