Ocean's 12

Ok, cats and chicks. Let’s take a look at some previews.

BE COOL—The sequel to Get Shorty looks like it could be just as cool. This one focuses on the music industry, though, and reunites Mr. Travolta with Uma. It also stars Vince Vaughn as a wigger record producer and Cedric The Entertainer and, I guess, a rival producer. The Rock, Danny DeVito and Harvey Keitel also show up. I really liked the first one a lot, so I’m ready for this one. But sequels don’t always live up to the hype. (Foreshadowing?)

THE WEDDING CRASHERS—Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson team up (yet again) to crash weddings to get laid. It’s gonna be stupid as hell, but with these two guys it’ll be funny, too.

In other news, I have four weddings to go to next month…

MR. AND MRS. SMITH—Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are a semi-happily married couple who also happen to be assassins in opposite corners. Their covers are blown when they get each other as their next assignments.

This is the movie that Nicole Kidman dropped out of and was up in the air for a long time after that. I guess it’s good that they got it made, but it looks like True Lies meets The War Of The Roses. Good thing? Who knows.

One of the connections for these kids is (Crazy!) Vince Vaughn.

CONSTANTINE—Keanu Reeves (whoa!) is an…angel? Maybe? Something like that. Either way he’s stuck between Heaven and Hell and is out to save the Earth one demon at a time. Rachel Weisz wants to see what he sees. This is based on a DC comic book called Hellblazer (couldn’t call it that, guys? Why not? Bad sign) and, strangely, does NOT feature Vince Vaughn.

The preview actually looks pretty good even though Keanu is around. I’ll be there. It’s The Matrix meets The Exorcist hopefully not meeting Van Helsing.

Now let’s get to this crazy, kooky sequel that we’ve all been waiting for.

And let’s ask this question: Why? Why did we need a sequel to a really good, fun movie that had an ending? I understand the appeal of getting these guys back together because, hell, I wanted them back together, too! Ocean’s 11 was so much fun and the chemistry was so thick that I knew they all had to work together again. But how ‘bout a remake of Robin And The Seven Hoods?

Instead they found a slightly used script (by George Nolfi (Timeline) written for John Woo to direct), found the writer again and told him to wedge their characters into it. What resulted was a slightly fun mess of a movie.

The plot has something to do with Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) finding Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his boys and asking nicely for his money back. With interest. (Of course, nicely is subjective. He doesn’t kill them and gives them two weeks to get the money to him.) The boys are then forced to reconvene and figure out a way to make all of the money back. They get a job in Europe to steal a Faberge Egg that belonged to one pope or another, take it back to the Night Fox (Vincent Cassell in a pretty annoying role) and he will then pay off the debt. The catch is that they have to beat him to the egg. And he’s the one who helped Benedict find them all.

Add to this the fact that Rusty’s (Brad Pitt) ex-girlfriend, Isabel (Catherine Zeta-Jones looking better than she has in a long time), is a cop who is not only after the Night Fox, but she’s after Rusty, too. And she’s a damn good cop whose father was a thief.

Steven Soderbergh managed to get everybody back (not too hard when they had so much fun on the first one) and brought it in with the same budget. He also made it a beautiful film. It looks just like a 60’s European crime movie like Blow Up. (That’s possibly why the women look so amazing in it.)

The actors were, for the most part, just as charming as they were in the first one, too. The characters, while at times underused (was Basher (Don Cheadle) really needed this time?), were still great. But I think the only reason that they seemed well drawn this time out was because we knew them so well from the last movie. This movie would crumble if it weren’t a sequel.

One character, though, didn’t survive the translation at all. What the fuck was up with Benedict? He was all suave and business-like in the first one, always wearing perfect suits. Now he’s wearing frilly purple jackets with big frilly collars and poofy shirts while carrying an ivory tipped cane? What the…? Who died and made him Liberace?

Other problems? Let’s start with Vincent Cassell. Certainly not the biggest problem, but he’s the most obvious at first glance. His character just sucks. He’s supposed to be some kind of master thief, but he’s so flamboyant as to be outed any second now. Even though he’s some sort of royalty I think the cops would pick up his scent a mile away. And the fact that he’s tragically thin didn’t help, either. He took his shirt off a couple of times in the movie and I wanted to shove a piece of cake down his throat. Then there was that STUPID Entrapment “homage.” Just lame. Why anyone would pay homage to that movie I will never know. (Except that one of its stars is here, that is.) Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they were paying homage to Ali G In Da House.

The entire plot was way too contrived. It’s hard to follow at times and not all of their plans seemed to do much for them. (Why did they all have to get pinched?) And the “She looks just like her!” joke was kind of funny, but would have been MUCH funnier if they hadn’t told us exactly who she looked like.

There were a few fun cameos here and there (Robbie Coltrane and Eddie Izzard are always welcome in any movie) but there was one that was just lame and out of place. (And, yes, it involved the above joke.) And when Topher Grace shows up again, what does, “You didn’t have to go all Frankie Muniz on her” mean?

There was some good stuff going on, too. Besides the look of the film, the music was awesome and just about any scene between Rusty, Danny and Linus (Matt Damon) was great. Other than that, it was not NEARLY as good as the first one. Almost not worth seeing unless you’re REALLY into these characters. Even then check it out at matinee prices.

Too bad, really. Even though they ended the first one perfectly, there were so many ways to make a great sequel. What a waste of a perfectly good tagline.