Art School Confidential

Man, artists are assholes! But before I get into that, let’s blow some previews.

CLERKS 2–You know, this is probably a really bad idea. Kevin Smith had the original. It was awesome. Now he’s revisiting the same ground. Will it be good? We’ll see. But this preview is actually really fuckin’ funny. I don’t know how, but it is. I’m all for it.

THE PUFFY CHAIR–This is a local movie that we saw two trailers for(!) and it looks alright. Apparently it took SXSW and Sundance by storm, but I just barely remember hearing about it. It looks totally low budget, but it might be alright. If the Alamo hadn’t shown an unofficial trailer for their event before we saw the official trailer that had all the same scenes in it, it may have left a better taste in my mouth. As it is, I feel like a victim of over-exposure and I had barely heard of it before tonight.

NACHO LIBRE–Again, two trailers, but this one held up a little better. Then again, it’s Jack Fuckin’ Black, so of course it holds up better! I know this is probably going to be pretty bad, but I really want to see it. Jack’s always good for a laugh and Jared Hess is ok in my book.

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE–This, however, looks like it’s going to be funny and genuinely good! Steve Carell is the gay uncle of a little girl who is going to be in the titular pageant. Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette are her parents. And Alan Arkin is her grandfather. I’m so there.

Ok, time to draw.

It takes a certain breed to go to art school. They have to be arrogant enough to think that they’re great and yet…um…well. That’s it, really. Just arrogant. They seriously have to believe, “I am the greatest fucking artist on the planet, and one day I will show everyone that that’s true.” Otherwise, they get stepped on by all of the other assholes who DO believe that. Or they start making garden gnomes and actually make money.

Jerome (Max Minghella, son of Anthony) is not really the type of guy who should be going to art school. Well, really he SHOULD be going because he actually has some talent. But he’s not the asshole that everyone else is. He speaks his mind (as long as it’s not to a girl that he’s in love with), but he’s extremely polite and soft-spoken.

But maybe he has some asshole in him.

He’s had bad luck with the ladies, but it’s mainly because he gets caught on one girl and can’t let go of her even when he knows that there’s no chance. When he meets Audrey (Sophia Myles from Tristan + Isolde), he knows that she is his soul mate and muse. Now, if only he could make her realize it.

Jerome has friends, but a lot of them don’t seem too friendly. His “best” friend is Bardo (Joel Moore), a caustic third year freshman who can recognize the archetypes a mile away. He even knows his own. Bardo takes Jerome to meet Jimmy (Jim Broadbent), an old, bitter man who was once a student at the same school. He made it just far enough to not kill himself. But he may as well have 30 years ago.

And, of course, there’s Prof. Sandiford (John Malkovich who also co-produced). The good professor is open minded to excuses, but he finds a way to make everyone feel bad about themselves. He’s actually pretty fucking funny.

There’s a lot going on in this movie and it seems that director Terry Zwigoff (Ghost World, Crumb and Bad Santa) and writer Daniel Clowes (who wrote the comic his screenplay was based on as well as the screenplay and comic of Ghost World) don’t really seem to know what to do with all of the stories. There’s a hint of a past relationship between Jimmy and one of the other teachers played by Angelica Huston (who is pretty much wasted in her two scenes here). But we never get a payoff. And there’s a serial killer on the loose whose only purpose seems to be to get to the ending that Clowes wanted.

Which isn’t to say that the movie is completely without merit. There are a lot of good performances and some very, VERY funny moments…most of which are digs at artists and their stereotypes.

And we get to see Ethan Suplee be funny as someone besides Randy on “My Name Is Earl.” (And he dresses up as his favorite director towards the end. Heh heh.)

The main problem here is that, no matter how sweet of a guy Jerome is and no matter how much we want him to get laid, it’s hard to care very much. All of the characters are so aloof (or just plain assholish) that you couldn’t give a damn about them. And Jerome is such a puss that it’s hard to care much about him. Nice kid, but I was getting tired of him. Or maybe I just saw too much of myself in him…who knows?

And the ending left something to be desired, too. It seemed to end the way it did just because it’s an indie film.

Ok. I’ve dogged on the movie enough. I actually did kind of like it, but those are the flaws. The cool things about it are every funny part that I can’t tell you about. And, of course, John Malkovich.

Check it out if you’re a fan of any of these folks. It’s worth a shot. Just don’t expect something as good as Ghost World.

By the way, don’t ever sit by me if you’re only going to a movie because it has indie cred. If you’re doing that, just fuck right off. I had a whole gaggle of people who just didn’t quite seem to be in on the joke. I think they were actually PART of the joke. They laughed, but it seemed like they laughed because they thought they should be laughing. “Ooh! This movie was directed by someone that only film people know the name of! We have to see it.”

And then one of them had to be really stupid. There’s a part where Jerome’s grandmother calls him Jeremy ’cause she’s senile. “What? His name is Jerome! What the fuck is she calling him Jeremy for?” My viewing buddy and I looked down the row, looked back and the screen and tried our best not to laugh too loud. I just hid my pained face.

Some people are far too stupid to be let out of their cages at night.