Superman Returns

I believe that a man can fly! But I also believe that a man can sling webs:

SPIDER-MAN 3—I have been one of the biggest fans of these movies and this looks like it could the best yet. Spidey goes all evil on us! Not to mention Sandman (Thomas Hayden Church) and Hobgoblin (James Franco) show up to make things worse for everybody. I can’t wait!

LADY IN THE WATER—I finally got to see the full trailer for this one and…well, it looks like a pretty typical horror flick where you don’t know who the bad guy is. Paul Giamatti is the same milquetoast he is in the original “bedtime story” preview, but now he’s all hero-like and trying to save the Lady (Bryce Dallas Howard). Will it be good? As long as the monsters don’t look as cheesy as they do here (too bad about that) and M. Night doesn’t put his patented “twist ending” on it, we should be fine.

I’m not expecting much.

Now, let’s get to flyin’.

Back in 1938, two kids, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, created a character that their Depression ravaged world needed. A man who couldn’t be stopped. A man who fought for justice, peace and the “American Way” (whatever that is.)

A lot of people tried to cash in on the success of Superman by bringing him to different media. He was on tv and radio and, for a while, couldn’t be escaped. But none of these incarnations could ever compare to the comic book. Sure George Reeves was ok, but he wasn’t the enigmatic young hero that we all knew and loved in the books.

That all changed in 1978 when Christopher Reeve put on the tights. He did something that no one else really could: he embodied the strength and innocence that the character needed. He was not only a perfect Superman, but he was a great Clark Kent, too. Clumsy and endearing, he showed us that Clark was the All-American Boy all grown up. And he loved the hell out of Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) who was really nothing but a bitch to him. Oh, she loved him in her way, but she would never love Clark like she loved The Supes.

After four movies, Christopher and Margot called it quits. And it was probably past the right time. The last two sequels weren’t really worth the film they were printed on.

Now, after the death of Christopher and the sudden insanity of Margot (she’s recovered apparently), it’s time for another sequel with a whole new cast.

Strangely, the timing is perfect. It’s been almost 20 years since the last movie (26 if you figure that this one ignores the third and fourth movies) and we’re in another period of American depression. Our real leaders are failing us. We’re in a war that we can’t seem to get out of. People have killed thousands of people by ramming planes into our buildings. Who can save us but Superman?

But Superman (newcomer Brandon Routh) left Earth in the lurch. After defeating General Zod and his cronies, he left to try to find more survivors of his home planet of Krypton.

Now, after a five year search, Supes is back. Things have changed, though. Lois (Kate Bosworth) has a fiancee, Richard (James Marsden…which explains his near absence from X3), and a sickly son, Jason (Tristan Lake Leabu). He’s asthmatic and takes all kinds of drugs to get over a bunch of different allergies. (I think they found the kid with the thinnest, stringiest hair in America. Cute kid, though.)

Not only is Lois foiling his plans, but Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) is back because of Superman’s absence at his trial. It seems that everyone has moved on…and not in good ways.

Lex, after finding the Fortress Of Solitude, is using some of the lessons that Jor-El (the ghost of Marlon Brando) taught him in his recordings to build a new continent, killing billions of people. He has a bunch of henchmen helping him (including Kal Penn from Harold and Kumar) and a new Miss Tessmacher in Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey, who is playing the same damn role she’s been playing for the last 10 years…not to mention that she’s basically playing Tessmacher again. And that’s not really a good thing.) And now he also has a secret weapon to help him against Superman.

And we can’t leave out the supporting players. Perry White (Frank Langella) is as surly as ever. Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington) is as nerdy as ever. And Martha Kent (Eva Marie Saint) is as motherly as ever. (Watch for the old pics of her on the mantle at home.)

A lot of people are already starting to shit on this movie now. I will readily admit that it’s not as good as the first two movies. But, honestly, what could be? Those were nearly perfect! This one is very long (two hours and 40 minutes) and a little slow…but so was the first one. But the main complaint that I think some people have is that Superman hasn’t really changed with the times. Lex is still a cartoony villain (although he does get REALLY dark towards the end…kind of a cross between Gene Hackman’s Luthor and Michael Rosenbaum’s Lex.) He still has really weird ideas for how to get rich. And Superman is still the paragon of all that is good. Almost naively so.

Here’s the deal with that: Superman is the one super-hero who probably SHOULDN’T change with the times. Yes, this is a world with real terrorists and real threats that are even more evil than Lex Luthor could ever dream of being. But if you try to make Lex into something he’s not, he becomes bin Laden. If we make him threaten to knock down a couple of buildings (or even a whole city), he becomes pretty boring. “Yeah, been there, seen that, saw the movie.”

A friend of mine did, however, come up with a pretty good idea: Why not make Lex try to make himself into a good guy in the eyes of the people? Discredit Superman because he left for so long. Lex swoops in, saves a few people, says that he’s turned over a new leaf and try to take over in a more deceitful way. That’s a great idea. Too bad they didn’t go that way.

But I’m ok with the route they did take. It was, after all, classic Lex. It’s silly. Kinda hokey. But so is Lex. And, hell…so is Supes.

This movie, though, is hardly about Lex and Superman. It’s about Superman and Lois. For the first time, really, there’s some real pathos in Superman’s psyche. Not only is he tortured by the fact that he didn’t find any more survivors from Krypton (which means that he’s all alone in the universe), but he’s lost his only real love because he went on this fruitless adventure. She’s moved on. And so, in fact, has the world. What’s a super guy to do? Not to mention all of his father issues.

The best thing about Lois’ new family is that they’re actually all likable. The kid is cute and, most importantly, unobtrusive and Richard is a genuinely nice guy and not just some dork she ended up with. He sees how she at least once felt about Superman and knows that he wants her to be happy no matter what. He even ends up being quite the hero. We want Lois to end up with Clark/Superman, but we don’t really want her to leave Richard. Maybe they can set up some kind of Jules And Jim system.

The real question on everybody’s lips is whether or not Brandon can fill Superman’s tights. I say, yes. Not only did he work as both Superman and Clark, but he picked up a few of Christopher Reeve’s mannerisms. (Watch how he slips his glasses back up his nose…and notice that this pair is just a smaller version of the one Chris wore.) He’s very good and I can’t wait to see where they take him next time.

Kate is almost as successful as Lois. There was as certain nervous confidence that Margot Kidder had for the character that Kate has got down. And when she’s trying so hard to get Perry interested in the blackout you can see exactly why she’s doing it. And why she has no interest in the Superman story.

But, just as in the original, Lex kind of overshadows everybody. Spacey is awesome as the megalomaniacal madman who has it in for the Supes. He’s funny and creepy. Perfect tone for the quintessential comic book bad guy. Sure, he’s not so realistic, but he’s Lex. And that’s all that matters.

I didn’t absolutely love the movie, but I liked it quite a bit. I only had a few small problems (why was Clark hurt in the beginning? Why was Martha in a crowd instead of with Clark near the end? Did we really need the Jesus imagery pounded home as much as it was?) that didn’t really add up to a whole lot. So, yes. I condone it. And I condone many, many sequels as long as they’re all directed by Bryan Singer.

If only Fox had had the same idea about the X-Men movies.

By the way, watch for Jason’s Aquaman pajamas. Could this be the next superhero?

And, just to keep with the traditions of old, there are plenty of nods to the comics and the first two movies. They even kept the credit style of the old ones! And the movie was dedicated to Chris and Dana Reeve. Singer wanted Chris to be in the movie, but he died before production started. That’s too bad. It would have been awesome to see the past and future of Superman together. (Although, it was sort of done in “Smallville.”)