The Protector

What can go so right for one film can go so wrong for the next.

But let’s talk about some previews first.

SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRALS–Jon Heder is really trying, isn’t he? Now he’s playing a total loser who goes to a school run by Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob teaches people like Jon to be real men. Unfortunately for both of them, Billy Bob has his eye on the girl that Jon went to the school to get in the first place.

I hate to say it, but this movie looks really pretty funny. It was directed by Todd Phillips who I sort of trust with comedy this broad. And any movie that has Napoleon Dynamite knocking the shit out of Carl is ok by me.

FEARLESS–This movie actually looks better every time I see a trailer. I can’t wait. Basically, all you have to say is “Jet Li” and I’m there. But this also has Ronny Yu directing and Yuen Woo-Ping doing the fight choreography. Say what you will about Ronny’s American films. (Freddy Vs. Jason? Bride Of Chucky?!) But his Hong Kong flicks are awesome. The Bride With White Hair is actually one of the best of the bunch. And he directed the only HK flick that Brandon Lee ever made. So I’m there for him, too.

Now, back to Tony Jaa’s latest “epic.”

A few years back I saw Ong Bak. It wasn’t a great film, but Tony was so amazing in it that it didn’t matter. This kid could jump through hoops half his size and still come out the other side ready to kick some ass. All for a little statue of their idol.

This time out Tony is not trying to find a small idol so that his village can have hope again. No. This time he is trying to bring back two elephants that were taken from his village to Sydney, Australia.

That’s right. Elephants. Sounds exhilerating, doesn’t it?

Some of the action is great. The entire final fight sequence is pretty good. (Although the elephant bones kind of look like those bone sponges that you use to wash your car.) And there’s a scene that made me wonder if Australia had that many people in it. There were a LOT of broken bones in that scene.

The scene that should have been the most amazing was the really, really, really long shot as Tony was running around the multi-level secret room to find Johnny, one of the main thugs. (Who, by the way, just disappears from the movie. He’s never truly defeated.) There was so much going on in the scene and it was a great concept, but it wasn’t carried out as well as you would hope. The guys fighting Tony seemed to be just waiting to be hit. Not exactly the greatest showcase for one of the best young fighters out there.

And it all got off to such a promising start when Tony had the torch passed to him by a certain prominant comic fighter. (Apparently it was a double. A really good one if that’s true. I really thought it was him!)

Oh well, Tony. You can’t win ‘em all. I’ll still be rooting for you next time in Sword.