Borat!

Hallo! I am Borat! And I am traveling across the United States and America to bring back to my peoples many cultural learnings from the American peoples!

But first, there were previews!

BALLS OF FURY–What the fuck? Did they decide that, since Dodge Ball made it big that a ping pong movie would make it? The only problem here is that they don’t have a cast. The lead actor is Dan Folger. Yeah. No clue who he is. And I doubt we’ll know who he is after this shitball hits our collective fans.

No, the only thing this movie has going for it is Christopher Walken as the main (Asian) bad guy. That’s pretty awesome. I’m sure he’ll have a Perfect Walken Moment or two. That won’t make me go see the movie, though.

NORBIT–Yet another Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy vehicle. This time he plays a dork (Norbit), his fat-ass, controlling girlfriend and his adoptive dad. Thandi Newton, what are you thinking?!?!

It’s shit!

Now that the previews have passed in the night like shit from my sister’s vagine, let us review my movie film!

Ok. Enough of that. I can’t type like that anymore. It kinda hurts.

Looking like an unholy cross between Tom Hanks and Joseph Stalin, Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) is a journalist from Kazakhstan, a smallish country somewhere in the middle of the former Soviet Union. The Kazakhs are a good people, but they have a habit of fucking their sisters and having parades called The Running Of The Jew. Yeah, they’re racist as hell and they keep their women in cages, but they’re basically good.

Borat’s job is to come to America (New York, in particular, but he gets a bit sidetracked by his lust for Pamela Anderson and drives to California) to report on the way of life in the second greatest country in the world. He conducts interviews with feminists, dines with Southern high society and a “genuine chocolate face…no makeup!”

Of course, none of these people know that he is an actor trying to bring out their inner racists.

Baron Cohen is a master at making people feel at ease with HIS racism, so they let their own come out. When he asks a guy in a gun shop what kind of gun he would suggest for protecting against Jews, the guy says, “Definitely a 9mm.” When he tells a crowd at a rodeo that he hopes that George W. Bush drinks the blood of every last man, woman and child in Iraq, most of the crowd cheers him on. (It’s not until he butchers The National Anthem that they boo him.)

Of course, don’t think that this is all high minded shit. There’s plenty of actual shit going on here. (The look on the “high society” woman’s face when he brings a baggie of shit to her at the dinner table is priceless.) There’s also plenty of extreme male nudity in one scene that will be ingrained in the brains of every viewer from here until well after their deaths.

It’s kind of amazing to think that pretty much everyone here was NOT in on the joke. (The only one that I know of who was in on it was Pamela. She kind of had to be.) Unless all of the law suits are fake, of course. In that case, I guess everyone was in on it.

This is, like “South Park,” brilliant social commentary wrapped in a lot of dick and fart jokes. Sacha is pretty amazing at this sort of thing. It’s not a perfect movie (not as perfect as all the critics seem to be saying, anyway), but it is very, very funny. And it shows us in a much worse light than the Kazakh people. After all, what kind of a country would that be if his version of it actually existed? And what kind of a person would actually believe that it does exist?