April 25, 2007 – Chahles! Get outta mah head, Chahles!

Tonight’s blog is going to be short…probably mostly pictures, actually. It’s late, I’m tired and I have to get out of the hotel by 11 tomorrow. AND I have a fairly long drive to the Richmond area. I decided that Virginia Beach just isn’t cool enough for me. (Actually, it’s a little TOO cool for me. Too expensive. Plus, I would probably miss Jamestown and Edgar Allen Poe’s house. And for what? A couple grains of sand with sweaty people all over them. And most likely it would be sweaty OLD people, not the hot young girls that they always show in pictures to make people want to go to the beach. Most of those girls are in California. Or in school.

Ok. Shutting up about that. Getting in trouble…with…someone? Anyone?

Anyway, I got up early-ish today to head to Charleston, but I wanted to make one more stop first. I had read somewhere that Beaufort (near-rhymes with ‘beautiful’) was pretty amazing, too, and it’s only a few miles from Charleston. So, why not?

Beaufort is another Colonial town, but it’s a little different. It not only had influences from England, but from the tropics, as well. (So, to an extent, did Charleston.) So there’s a lot of strange stuff going on there that may not have been going on in other places.

For the most part, Beaufort is just residential. There is a main drag of shops and that sort of thing, but there are mainly just a LOT of houses that were built in the 17 and 1800s. It was founded in 1711, so it’s the second oldest city in South Carolina, after Charleston (founded in 1670). It’s also kind of a gateway to the Low Country, which consists of the coastal counties at the southern tip of the state.

There’s no beach at all. It’s all grassy and marshy, so nothing to do there.

Here’s a few pics:

(As I drove down this street, I noticed this at the end:)

(The sign says that the view has been preserved by the City Council. Good for them!)

(I would live on this street.)

(See? No beach.)

So, yeah. Really pretty, but not much to do there. I didn’t even get out of the car…that’s why there’s stuff all over these pictures. I took them through the windshield.

Charleston, though, was pretty cool. Nowhere near Savannah Cool, but cool, nonetheless.

It, also, is mostly residential, but there’s more of a drag here than in Beaufort. I didn’t really go on it (because I parked too damn far from it), but I did drive down it. Two lanes one-way most of the way…then it goes to ONE lane. It’s really long, but pretty tough to get down from all the tourists clogging it up.

Right across the bay (not sure where…they didn’t have a sign pointing to it), in Fort Sumter, the first shots of the Civil War were fired. So, yeah. There’s a LOT of Civil War paraphernalia here. Which is totally cool. But, apparently, it still hurts some of the people here. Personally, I kind of wish that there had been more Revolutionary War stuff.

Here’s some stuff I saw in Charleston:

(I parked right along here. Hellboy, however, didn’t get this good of a view. The street is WELL below this boardwalk.)

(A statue commemorating the Confederate Defenders of Charleston.)

(random house)

(This is the Calhoun Mansion. It’s the biggest house in Charleston. I know that because I overheard the tourguide talking to her group. I opted to NOT pay $15 to go inside.)

(So, instead, I took pictures OUTside. I also know, by the way, that the house was sold online. Weird.)

(The grave of Charles Pinkney, signer of the Declaration Of Independence.)

(City Hall is being renovated.)

(The Confederate Home…see what I’m saying? LOTS of Civil War memories.)

(This is the site of the first theatre in America. It burned down and they built another one in the 1800s. Again, overheard from a tourguide. There were a LOT of them around.)

(St. Phillip’s. They were having a little gathering in their Tea Room. I didn’t see a single person there.)

(Even the alleys are quaint in Charleston! As soon as I thought that, I looked to my right and saw a plaque saying that this particular alley had some historical significance. I don’t remember exactly what it was. Something about it being the first alley in Charleston. The buildings around it burned down and they rebuilt it exactly as it was in honor of the man who maintained it originally. This all happened in the 1700s, so it’s not newly old.)

(Not sure why the Navy was there. To greet me?)

(The old Customs House)

(A pineapple? No idea.)

(This is the only beach in Charleston. The entire city is surrounded by this boardwalk. This is where rich people go to retire. No beaches mean no pesky kids during Spring Break. Although, this is a college town. I saw PLENTY of evidence of that. I love them college towns.)

(Revolutionary War Memorial)

(Civil War cannon. This and it’s three buddies are the biggest collection of this particular type of cannon in the world.)

This fell from the lamp post tree and grew right here in the middle of Narnia!)

Thus endeth my time in Charleston. I only walked around for a couple of hours, but it was fun and I think I saw most of the cool stuff. I’m sure there’s an entire section of it that I missed. Maybe next time.

Now I’m sitting in my hotel room in….Florence, South Carolina. No idea why I’m here. It was cheaper than anywhere else I could find. I’m thinking that tomorrow I’m going to head to the Richmond area to check out Edgar Allen Poe’s house…but that’s about six hours away.

Shit.

Well, hopefully I make it in time and can find somewhere to lay my bones after. Then I’ll probably take in Jamestown and the other two Colonial areas near there the next day. I guess we’ll see! This is where I totally fly by the seat of my pants.

Before I go, though, I need to talk about a problem here in the South. I saw one of the most disturbing billboards I’ve ever seen in my life here. And there were dozens of them! They were scarring the land like a…giant scarring thing.

A giant, googly-eyed Mexican saying stupid things. You would get shot in Texas for something like this.

Because, of course, all Mexicans in Texas are gang members and carry guns.

And, I’ll leave you with some more found porn: