SXSW2008-NOFX: Backstage Passport/The Assassination Of A High School President/Dreams With Sharp Teeth/Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie

NOFX: BACKSTAGE PASSPORT (2008)

Directed by: Jeff Alulis/Ryan Harlin

I hadn’t seen nearly enough movies with long-ass titles, so I decided to see them all today.

NOFX is punk’s perfect anti-band. If you’re for something, they’re against it.

Well, maybe that goes too far. They actually seem like perfectly nice guys. Sure, they’re excessive (except for Smelly, who is totally clean…now), but they’re a punk band. What do you want from them? But they are definitely anti-selling out and anti-MTV. In the 25 years they’ve been together, they’ve never had a deal with a major label and never taken “You can’t” for an answer.

Touring America was getting a bit boring. There was no edge to it anymore. So they decided to go on a world tour to places where no one goes. Places like Turkey, Chile, South Africa and Peru. And they invited a film crew to come along. They figured that it would make a great documentary.

Well, Fuse TV (apparently, the anti-MTV) decided that it would make a better series. And the band and directors Jeff Alulis and Ryan Harlin brought the first two episodes to SXSW.

Now, there are some things that Fuse won’t allow. Fat Mike said that there was a scene with him juggling cocaine balls in Columbia. I kind of think he was making that up, but there’s no telling. They did, however, allow a shot of Eric Melvin snorting something. So, that’s more than MTV might allow.

But the editing style? Pure MTV. It may have a FEW less cuts than your typical episode of “The Real World,” but not many less.

No, the main difference here is that the story is actually real…and interesting. MTV hasn’t had any interesting programming since around 1986. NOFX going to Peru and getting screwed over by a promoter named Yolanda who expected them to not show so that she could take the money and run? Now, that’s interesting. Fat Mike playing a solo acoustic performance to kids outside of a hotel? That’s awesome. Smelly finally getting some attention? That’s amazing.

If I had Fuse TV (cable costs too damn much), I would probably watch this show. I don’t really know the first thing about NOFX (I’ve heard a few songs here and there, but had no idea that they had been around since they were teenagers in 1983), but this show made me want to know more. They seem like fun guys to hang out with…for half an hour a week.

For some reason, the program calls this Punk Rock Passport. Fuse TV is calling it NOFX: Backstage Passport. Meh. Whatever.

THE ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2008)

Directed by: Brett Simon
Written by: Tim Calpin/Kevin Jakubowski

Next up was what I had heard was basically a remake of Chinatown…in high school. Instead of water rights, we had SATs.

Well, it was a bit more complicated than that. It was certainly inspired by Chinatown and had a lot of nods to it, but it was pretty heavily influenced by a LOT of noirs.

Bobby Funke (Reece Thompson from Rocket Science) is kind of a loser. He wants to be a great journalist for the newspaper, but he’s never finished a story. Then his editor, Valerie (Zoe Kravitz), gives him the go ahead to interview the class president (Patrick Taylor), he uncovers a conspiracy that may go all the way to the principal (Bruce Willis). Either way, it gets him in good with the president’s now ex-girlfriend, Francesca (Mischa Barton).

And there’s a guy who mumbles like Benicio Del Toro in The Usual Suspects. And a chick with an eye patch. How could you get much cooler?

Director Brett Simon (who is the least likely film PhD you’ll ever meet) said that, as much as he loved Brick, he thought that they failed in one area: showing high school. So, instead of making his feature film debut a drama noir, he decided (possibly against the original wishes of writers Tim Caplin and Kevin Jakubowski, both of whom were PAs on “South Park” for a while) to make it a comedy and show high school for the absolutely ridiculous world that it really is. And what better way to do that than have a kid who is obsessed with becoming the next Woodward and Bernstein go up against a principal who treats his students like soldiers in Desert Storm and hates gum more than people who steal SATs?

Even though I originally thought that the movie was going to be a drama, I ended up liking the end product. (It’s actually not the “end product” yet. They’re doing the score right now.) It’s a fun high school movie with some pretty great characters running through it. And, even if they don’t talk like the noir characters of old (or like the ones in Brick), they are still very noir-ish. Enough that I will definitely call this a comedy-noir. Check it out when it comes out in August. (I think.)

DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH (2008)

Directed by: Erik Nelson
Written by: Erik Nelson

From high school to old age…kinda.

Harlan Ellison is the kind of guy who can say things like, “I’m 72 years old. Death is like a salivating fanboy hanging over my shoulder at a Star Trek convention.” He’s also the kind of guy who can say, “The only smog I see is down in that valley killing Republicans. And I don’t give a shit about that!”

He’s an angry man and he doesn’t care what anybody thinks about him. But, after 50 years of being a successful writer (mostly sci-fi and “imaginative fiction”), he doesn’t have to care what anybody thinks.

Then again, he’s always been like that.

Director Erik Nelson has known Harlan since 1981 when he shot a documentary for PBS about the author. With that friendship firmly in place, he was able to get Harlan to talk about things that he never has with any other interviewer. Things like his family (we get to see the only existing footage of his parents) or his misgivings about fame.

Nelson shows Harlan as a caustic individual who, while he has some good friends (including Robin Williams and Neil Gaiman), has alienated himself from a lot of the world by being so outspoken about everything from writing to politics to religion. He speaks his mind even when it means telling a student at a seminar that he’s dumb as a post. And the student agrees with him!

It’s a great documentary that may be one of the best of the festival. A definite must-see for fans of the eccentric writer. Hell, even people who don’t like him should check it out. It might explain him to them.

NOT YOUR TYPICAL BIGFOOT MOVIE (2008)

Directed by: Jay Delaney

Now, how about some obsessed individuals with a bit less hope?

Dallas Gilbert and Wayne Burton are two small-town Ohio men whose lives have been, well, not so great. They live in a nowhere town that is dying because the steel mills closed years ago. There’s not a lot of opportunity to make money. Dallas is doing ok, but Wayne is really struggling.

The one thing they have going for them is their ability to see Bigfoot. They have over 150 pictures of Bigfoot roaming around their area.

Director Jay Delaney starts the doc off in a way that really makes it seem like he’s making fun of these guys. They say some of the most ridiculous things in defense of their pictures (which look highly suspect) and make some pretty strange noises to try to get the creature to show up. They treat Bigfoot as if he’s a mystical creature. (Dallas’ son, who also claims to have seen the big boy, says that he thinks he floats just a bit off the ground. That’s why they never find foot prints.) And they almost act as if the only way they’ve ever actually SEEN Bigfoot is after they go home and watch the movies that they make on their computer. It’s so hard to take these guys seriously!

But they are completely serious. And, as the movie goes on, we start to feel really sorry for them. Especially Wayne who is so fragile for a tough old man. He’s tried to kill himself at least once and seems on the verge of trying again. His house is close to being taken away from him. I don’t even know if his wife is still with him.

All either of them have is Bigfoot and each other. But you almost begin to wonder if that’s such a good thing. Dallas is obviously a bit ’round the bend and Wayne probably needs some professional help.

I never was sure if Delaney knew which way he wanted to go with the doc. Did he think these guys were loonies? Or did he feel sorry for them and want them to find Bigfoot and serve him up on a platter? He is from this area, also, so it would seem strange for him to be making fun of his neighbors…but it’s hard to deny the string of almost cruel scenes that he chose to include in the beginning of the movie.

At just over an hour long, it actually seemed to drag a tiny bit. It certainly isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen this year, but it wasn’t the best, either. If you’re really interested in Bigfoot, check it out. Or if you want to see a strange portrait of two very strange old men, check it out. But don’t be too disappointed if you come out the other side still wondering what they were up to.