The Lightning Thief (2010)

Directed by: Chris Columbus
Written by: Craig Titley
Based on book by: Rick Riordan

I can’t really say that this movie was on the top of my list of “must sees” for this season, but I’m always up for a good flick in the ever-expanding world of “young adult” fiction…as long as it doesn’t deal with shiny vampires.

Before I get to the movie, though, let’s check out some trailers.

THE KARATE KID–Do we really need a remake of this 80s classic? Well, someone thinks so. And, if they’re gonna do it, they may as well give Jackie Chan a job that doesn’t make him look like a fuckin’ tool. I’m not so sure about Jaden Smith, but whatever. He’s a decent enough actor. And there’s a pretty funny gag at the end of the otherwise serious trailer, so hopefully the movie has a sens of humor. I might check it out.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND–I kinda can’t figure this one out. Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is grown up? And coming back to Wonderland? And the Red Queen (Helena Bonham-Carter, of course) has taken over? And the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp, of course) is a major player? WTF?! Whatever. I’m there. It’s Tim Burton doing what he does best: big and weird. AND it looks like Danny Elfman is back with him! AWESOME!!! One big question, though: Why the hell does Johnny look like Elijah Wood?

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID–Nope. Not so interested. Yeah, there are some funny bits in the trailer, but it smacks of “all the funny parts are right here.” Uninterested unless I hear some pretty amazing things.

Ok, back to those Olympians.

As I said, I didn’t have a real hankerin’ to go see this movie, but my young ward was invited to a midnight screening because he was a part of Camp Half-Blood, a fantasy camp built around the world of Percy Jackson and his friends. His mom couldn’t take him, so I came to the rescue.

Here are the reasons that I wasn’t too excited:

1) I know that the studios are DESPERATELY looking for another Harry Potter. This could be it if it’s done right, but most likely it wouldn’t be.

2) Chris Columbus directed it. Sure, he started the Harry Potter franchise, but he had the good sense to step aside and let real directors take over after a while. Will he doe the same here? Will he make the same mistakes here that he made on the first two HP movies? Most likely.

3) Having never read the books and, actually, barely even hearing of them except for the aforementioned kiddo raving about them, I wasn’t very invested in the story.

All that didn’t dissuade me from seeing the movie. It just didn’t make it something that I was clamoring for.

Luckily, the movie wasn’t terrible. It was actually kind of fun.

Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman from Hoot and Gamer) is a bit of an outcast at school. The only place he ever feels at home is under water. He can hold his breath for up to seven minutes, but he has no idea why. His buddy, Grover (Brandon T Jackson, Alpa Chino from Tropic Thunder!), doesn’t understand it, but he just kind of goes with it.

Percy’s home life isn’t much better than his school life. He loves the hell out of his mom (Catherine Keener, who seems to be making a career out of playing moms of disaffected kids lately), but his stepdad (Joe Pantoliano) is a complete ass. “The beer isn’t gonna magically go from the fridge to my hand, is it?” Jackass.

Eventually, though, Percy finds out exactly what’s “wrong” with him. A trip to the museum tells him exactly who he is and where he’s really from…and where he should be.

The rest of the film involves a bolt of lightning that was stolen from Zeus (Sean Bean), a Hogwarts-like camp for children of gods (Camp Half-Blood) and a cross-country trek to find the entrance to Hell to find Hades (Steve Coogan).

Like the Harry Potter movies, there’s a great supporting cast of adults here to keep the kids hopping. Besides Bean and Coogan, there’s Uma Thurman, Pierce Brosnan (who I REALLY wanted to have a scene with Sean Bean) and Rosario Dawson. They all do a pretty good job with what they’re given. Most of them, though, aren’t given a whole lot. I think Brosnan gets the best role as Percy’s teacher at the Camp.

It’s pretty easy to keep comparing the story to Harry Potter, but really what it reminded me of even more was Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. It’s as if Riordan had read that book and the HP books and wanted to mix the two into a kid-friendly story. And, honestly, if the book is as much better than the movie as my little buddy says that it is, I’m all for it. The movie did what it was probably supposed to do: it made me want to read the books. (There are five in the series.)

Oh yeah. There were kids in the movie, too, huh? They were alright. Logan is a bit on the emo side, honestly. He’s got the swoopy hair that’s messed up in back that kind of bothered me through the whole movie. I kept expecting him to burst out into Good Charlotte songs or something. Brandon was pretty hilarious as Percy’s protector. Some of his lines were pretty risque for a kid’s movie. He seemed to want to have sex with anything that moved and had a vagina, especially in the Lotus Casino. And then there’s “the love interest.” Alexandra Daddario as Annabeth fits the role of Athena’s daughter perfectly. She may not be the greatest actress in the world, but she’s decent and has eyes that you could get lost in. I think that’s about all the role really calls for.

It’s a fun flick. Sure, if you’ve read the book, apparently you will hate the movie. But if you haven’t, just kind of let things go and have some fun with it. I’m interested enough to read the book and, possibly, see the sequel when it comes out.