Alice In Wonderland (2010)

Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: Linda Woolverton
Based on book by: Lewis Carroll

When I heard that Tim Burton was directing a new version of Alice In Wonderland, I knew that I would be in line for it. I also knew that about 14 billion Hot Topicers would be in line, too.

I wish it had been better.

Let’s hit some previews first, though.

TRON LEGACY–You know, the original movie is not that great. Seriously. It’s slow and a little boring, but I like it. Hell, I own it. Not because I grew up on it. No, I didn’t see it for YEARS, actually. All I remember from when the movie came out was the game. This just means that I’m not as attached to the original as a lot of people of my generation are. This doesn’t, however, mean that I’m not going to see the new one. I’m all for it. Jeff Bridges as his current self AND his younger self? There. The effects look just as cutting edge as the original’s did back in 1982. And the music? Daft Punk. I’m so there.

TOY STORY 3–Do I really need to say it? It’s Pixar and it’s Toy Story. I’m there.

DESPICABLE ME–Steve Carell as the #2 super villain in the world and a piss-ant geek taking his place in the #1 spot. Looks pretty funny in a Spy Vs. Spy way. I’ll check it out at some point.

Ok, let’s get back to Underland.

Alice (Mia Wasikowska) has grown up and has no idea what happened in Wonderland. Wasn’t it all a dream? So, when she falls down the rabbit hole again after being proposed to by a weaselly little guy, she has no idea what to think of all of the talking mice, disappearing cat and, most of all, the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp).

The problem is, they need her help…very badly. The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) has taken over and her tyranny knows no bounds. She’s quite mad and very insecure about her huge noggin. Her sister, the White Queen (Anne Hathaway), is also a little bit mad, but is much more benevolent. The animals love her (probably mainly because she has vowed to never harm them) and she rules fairly.

That’s about the whole story right there. I guess there’s a bit of a search for self with Alice not truly knowing who she is or if she’s “the real Alice,” but that seems secondary to the weird characters.

Maybe that’s as it should be in an Alice In Wonderland movie, but I really want a story. Especially if it’s going to take place after the events of the story that we all know.

Speaking of which, this is going back to the original source material, more so than just about any version since America McGee’s video game. This means that we don’t know as much about the original story as we think we do. All of the versions before this focused on the whimsy of the story and not the subtext or the darkness. This one focuses on that darkness and even twists it up a bit. This is a fucking WAR! The problem is that Burton and Woolverton think that we know the actual story and kind of start us right in the middle. Maybe it works a bit because Alice is starting in the middle, too, but it didn’t work so well for me. I felt like I was missing a LOT of the references.

Really, the only great thing about this movie are the visuals and some of the performances. Burton knew exactly how he wanted this movie to look and he did it…and it looks amazing. Wonderland is beautifully stark and wasted world full of crazy creatures and pottier people. The 3D adds to the effect, but it isn’t essential.

The other thing that I wouldn’t change is the acting. All of the side characters are great. The Cheshire Cat (Stephen Fry) is creepy, but cute. The Caterpillar (Alan Rickman) is also pretty creepy, but in a more philosophical way. (No one says, “Stupid girl” like Rickman.) The March Hare (Paul Whitehouse) is hilariously crazy. Bonham Carter is perfect as the maniacal Red Queen and Crispin Glover is suitably slimy as Stayne, the Knave Of Hearts. Listen also for Michael Sheen a the White Rabbit, Timothy Spall as Bayard, Barbara Windsor from the Carry On films of the 60s as the Dormouse and Matt Lucas as the Tweedles.

But, seriously, Johnny Depp outshines them all. In fact, the movie doesn’t pick up at all until he shows up. It’s pretty boring for the first 20 minutes. Then he adds some depth to what could have been a pretty think-less role. Typically, the Mad Hatter shows up in a scene or two and then disappears like so much Cheshire Cat smoke. This time, though, he’s a BIG part of the story…and that’s a very good thing. Although, with his eyes (I’m hoping) digitally widened, he looks like a spooky Elijah Wood. That’s kinda creepy.

The less said about the dance with the completely incongruous music at the end, the better.

Not as bad as Planet Of The Apes, by any means, but certainly not Burton’s best work. I would put it as one of his weakest, and that’s too bad. Alice In Wonderland seems like the kind of story that he could do a lot with.

Part of the problem is that Burton doesn’t have any particular attachment to the material. While that’s not always a bad thing (see Star Trek), with this sort of thing it’s not so good. Here it ends up being some almost decent fan fiction, just without the Johnny Depp/Crispin Glover yaoi.

Thank Hitchcock for that.