SXSW10-Earthling (2010)/Midnight Shorts
I love this country so much, if there was a bald eagle right here, I’d fuck it.
EARTHLING
Directed by: Clay Liford
Written by: Clay Liford
Judith (Rebecca Spence) is a teacher with a difference. Apparently, she’s part alien. She occasionally gets bumps on her forehead, but they only started happening recently after some incident.
Abby (Amelia Turner) is one of Judith’s students. She awakens the beast within Judith. Will she begin an affair with the girl? Or will she listen to her better judgment?
There’s also an astronaut who has problems with his family. He was the only survivor in a horrible accident on a space station. Is he an alien, too?
I hated this movie. It tried WAY too hard to be thought provoking, but forgot to let us in on its thoughts. I know that it was “about” something, but I still don’t know what the fuck it was. After an hour and a half, I didn’t feel any connection to any character and I just wanted it to end. Then it went on for six more hours.
Whatever. The horror is over. I can go on with my life…or can I?
MIDNIGHT SHORTS
If you really want to get your gross on at SXSW, the best way is at the Midnight Shorts program. I do my best to make it to the program every year. I’m pretty glad I did this year.
Directed by: Brian Firenzi
These are all available online at www.5secondfilms.com, but they’re hilarious. Five seconds of pure funny. Go to the website and check ‘em out.
Directed by: Jim Owen
Serious talks with your girlfriend can be pretty hard. It’s even harder when she brings up personal problems with your junk. Pretty funny at times, but a little slow. There are some very good moments.
Directed by: SHAKA KING
An old man gets a call from his granddaughter. He goes to visit, but he’s not very welcome. Where’s his son? And why is his granddaughter so creepy?
King absolutely knows how to shoot a suspense film and he got some good performances. The grandfather overacts a little bit, but it fits his character really well. Overall, it’s a very good short with only a few shaky moments.
Directed by: Landon Zakheim
One of the funniest shorts in the program. A little boy is building a machine out of spare parts from around the house. When it ends up working, he’s very surprised at what he ends up doing. I think the last shot got the biggest laugh in the program.
DWIGHT DAVID HONEYCUTT FOR CONWAY SCHOOL BOARD
Directed by: Roland Honeycutt, Jr
Dwight David Honeycutt wants your vote for Conway School Board and this is his film telling you why he should be elected. He may not be qualified, but his dick is huge.
This short was a little long, but it was really funny and shot just like a low-budget, home-grown, political commercial.
EAGLES ARE TURNING PEOPLE INTO HORSES
Directed by: Brian McElhaney
A guy is really annoyed with his girlfriend’s laugh. How can he get rid of her? He could always tell her the truth about his real job: fighting eagles to make sure they don’t turn any more people into horses!
Speaking of over-long, this one, as funny as it was, seemed to go on for a long while. It was a pretty good short, but maybe a bit on the long side.
Directed by: Mark Nickelsburg
What happens if you drink the milk after it expires? Mark Nickelsburg knows and he tells us in a really good short that’s high on suspense and low on stress. Loved it.
Directed by: PJ Raval
I really don’t know what to think about this one. It’s a music video that basically consists of two mostly naked men and a third dressed as the most hideous creature on film. It’s funny as hell and is a pretty disturbing parody of hip hop videos. And transgenderism. And hairy asses.
ACK!
Directed by: DW Young
When someone isn’t interested in a set of knives, you should probably leave them alone. Unless, of course, they’re pointing at their door nervously.
This was a really funny short with a shlubby main character. You kind of think it’s going one way, then it goes another…which is always a nice surprise in a short.
Directed by: Cosmo Jarvis
I don’t really know what to make of this one. It was an old woman (played by Cosmo) narrating shots of an alleyway. There’s something wrong with the alleyway…but we don’t really know what. Neither does Cosmo. Everyone was laughing, but I was wondering if it was supposed to be funny or not. Either way, it was pretty funny.
Directed by: Kristen Gray-Rockmaker
A couple are late getting back home. Their babysitter might be angry and they’re worried…VERY worried.
A good little suspense short that ends on a great freakout. One of the few shorts (along with Cocoa Loco) where the characters reveal more about themselves as time goes on. Very good.
Directed by: Bobby Miller
When a man’s girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex, he goes to jerk off in the shower. But where does that semen go? When the tub gives birth to a deformed baby, he finds out.
Really funny and some great gross-out effects. This may have actually been the best of the program. Definitely worth seeking out.
