I love horror movies and I saw a LOT of them at SXSW this year. That’s why I decided to split my Top 5 into two separate lists. That and it’s Friday the 13th. Can’t have one of those without some horror flicks.

So, here are the five best horror films that I saw at SXSW this year…

Read the rest here.

From premiering movies that no one ever saw again (Go, Mating Habits Of The Earthbound Human, The Newton Boys) to premiering big budget Hollywood films that don’t seem particularly festival friendly (Source Code, 21 Jump Street).

Read the rest at Forces Of Geek…

Oh well. I still saw some really good ones today and it was a great way to end the festival.

COFFIN JOE: THIS NIGHT I WILL POSSESS YOUR CORPSE (1967)

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: José Mojica Marins
Written by: José Mojica Marins/Aldenora De Sa Porto

The Coffin Joe movies (also including the 1964 film, At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul) have become pretty big cult films since their release. I have actually owned both of them for a few years now and never been in the mood to check them out. When I found out that SXSW was having Gary Lucas in to do a live score for the second film, I figured it was time to see it.

The film picks up (apparently) just when the first one leaves off. Coffin Joe (played by the director) is looking for the perfect woman to bear his child. He finds a small army of women that he thinks might be good for the position, but they all fail him in some way. When children start going missing, he is blamed. But, if there’s one thing that Joe will ALWAYS defend, it’s children. Children are perfect and should never be harmed, according to him.

Coffin Joe is one of the strangest “bad guys” in cinema as far as I’m concerned, and it’s that love for children that makes him that way. It almost makes him strangely…loveable. “I’ll kill men and women all day long (especially women), but children I will never harm.” Weird.

The movie is pretty slow by today’s standards, but it builds up such a feeling of dread that it’s hard to dismiss. In its low-budget, Mexican way, it’s a masterpiece. But I really can’t imagine too many people getting into it. Hell, I wasn’t completely into it most of the way through, but I still enjoyed it.

It really wasn’t until the color sequence near the end that I really sat up and took notice. (Granted, I was very tired…of course.) Joe is pulled into Hell while he sleeps and…well…it’s one of the more frightening visions of Hell I’ve ever seen on film. Yes, it’s totally 60s and cheap, but it works REALLY well. The whole movie is worth it if only for that scene.

Gary Lucas’ new score was great, too. It sometimes overpowered the film, but it added to most of it by making scenes that may have been a bit dry before seem even spookier. If you ever get to see him provide a score to an older film, do it. He travels the country with his show and has now added scores to about seven films, including Der Golem and Exterminating Angels. I would kind of be up for seeing some of his other stuff, but I’m not sure that he does the older ones anymore. I think he does one for a while, then stops and moves on to a new one.

If you start watching Coffin Joe and just can’t get through it, I wouldn’t totally blame you. Just make sure that you don’t miss the Hell sequence. Pretty amazing stuff.

SMALL APARTMENTS (2012)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Jonas Åkerlund
Written by: Chris Millis
Based on book by: Chris Millis

I know nothing about Chris Millis’ book and, in fact, I didn’t have much interest in the movie until a couple of friends told me that it was good. I’m glad I saw it, though. It was absolutely worth it and possibly one of the best films I saw at the festival.

Franklin Franklin (Little Britain’s Matt Lucas) is a complete loser. He lives in a tiny one room apartment in a dilapidated complex in LA. His neighbors hate him mainly because he plays his Alp horn at all hours, day and night. He really has nothing going for him except the daily tapes he gets from his brother (James Marsden) and his love of Switzerland. Other than that, he roams around the apartment (and, in fact, his life) in his tighty whiteys, long socks and wooden shoes. Sometimes, he puts on a jacket. He also has five or six toupees because he has no hair.

His neighbor on one side is an angry old man (James Caan). His neighbor on the other side is an angry young man (Johnny Knoxville). His landlord (Peter Stormare) is an angry middle-aged man who is now lying dead on Franklin’s floor. What’s a poor boy to do? Hide the body, of course.

That’s when fire investigator Burt Walnut (Billy Crystal) enters the story. He’s trying to figure out exactly what happened to the landlord. (What actually leads to his entrance is better seen than read about.)

The movie is all about one thing leading to another and the intersections of lives. How we impact each other is not always direct, but it is always impactful.

It starts off a bit more manic than I may have liked, but it ended up being hilarious and oddly touching. What was even better was the fact that EVERYONE was great in it. Johnny Knoxville is a much better actor than I would like to give him credit for. James Marsden is better than I’ve ever seen him. (This could be because he’s playing extreme instead of normal. Sometimes it’s easier to be extreme than normal.) James Caan is better than I’ve seen him in years. I don’t know from Little Britain, but Matt Lucas might have a good career ahead of him in more dramatic roles. And, best of all, Billy Crystal is awesome! I know it’s cool to hate him now, but he’s really good in this role and I hope that it leads to more roles like it in the future. He’s dark. He’s funny. And he’s good.

Definitely check this one out. Åkerlund (Spun and Horsemen) has done a great job of keeping the mood light enough for comedy, but dark enough to keep it from dropping into “too touching” territory.

JUST LIKE BEING THERE (2012)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Scout Shannon

Gig posters are big business these days and Scout Shannon is here to show us exactly why. Interviewing everyone from old schoolers like Jay Ryan to the folks at Mondo who have started the whole film poster screenprint business, he shows a respect for these amazing pieces of art that a lot of people wouldn’t show.

I’ve always admired gig posters, but I never knew a whole lot about screenprinting. This movie took us through that process (briefly) and introduced us to the artists who have brought it all to life. (My favorite is Daniel Danger. He’s got a whole storyline running through his head that is painful and completely true. I’m going to look for his stuff from now on.)

It’s hard for me to review this movie because, honestly, I was so freakin’ tired when I saw it that it’s just hard to recall a lot of specifics about it. But I really liked it and you should, too. Hopefully, it will bring some respect to the artistry behind gig posters and their film counter-parts. So much awesomeness should not be left to just rot away on light poles.

YELLOW SUBMARINE (1968)

***** (5/5)

Directed by: George Dunning
Written by: Lee Minoff/Al Brodax/Jack Mendelsohn/Erich Segal/Roger McGough (uncredited)
Based on song by: John Lennon/Paul McCartney

When I found out that SXSW was showing one of my favorite movies of all time in a newly remastered and restored print (each frame beautifully hand restored!), I knew that I had to be there. Strangely enough, my whole festival was gearing up for the moment when I finally got to see the words “Once upon a time…” on the big screen.

Yellow Submarine is not a movie that The Beatles cared about. They threw some songs at it (mostly songs that were tossed off in about ten minutes) and filmed a very brief scene for the ending. They didn’t voice their own characters. They basically didn’t spend any time on it at all.

Fortunately, the filmmakers spent lots of time on it. The animation (headed up by Heinz Edelmann who, saddly, never really did anything else in film), for its time, is amazing in all of its hand-drawn, rotoscoped glory. The story is full of surreal vignettes that, while they don’t always make a lot of sense or even add to the story, add up to something greater than their parts. The writers (including a pre-Love Story Erich Segal) knew enough about the individual Beatles’ personalities to write them correctly. Sure, they probably got most of it from the previous movies, but whatever. It works. There is so much wordplay going on that it’s sometimes hard to notice all of it…even though a lot of it is pretty obvious. (They even admit that the puns are bad at times.) Try to keep track of all of the references to other Beatles’ songs throughout the film. “No time for trivialities,” says Old Fred.

Of course, it all boils down to the visuals and the music. If those two things didn’t work so well, the script would fall apart. But it all flows together to form a great film that is still influential today. I can’t remember what it was, but I saw a film recently that reminded me of this one.

Yellow Submarine may not be for everyone, but it’s still for the kid in all of us and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

It was a great way to end the festival. The perfect way, actually. When everyone in the audience started singing along to All Together Now at the end of the film, I knew that we will always have The Beatles.

BEWARE OF MR. BAKER (2012)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Jay Bulger
Written by: Jay Bulger

Ginger Baker is absolutely one of the best drummers of the rock era, but I’ve never realy known very much about him personally. I definitely didn’t know that he was batshit insane.

Jay Bulger lied to Ginger a few years back in order to meet him and and write about him. He told him that he was a reporter for Rolling Stone and that he was going to write a big piece on him. Strangely enough, the article did get published in Rolling Stone. It also made Jay want to make a movie about this crazy man just to get his story out there.

The movie shows all of the neuroses of Mr. Baker and immediately shows us how much you really do need to beware of him. (There’s even a sign just inside the gate of his South African estate.) Basically, Ginger is a genius, but he’s a horrible, horrible person who has derailed any attempt at a comeback by being awful or getting too deep into drugs. He’s alienated himself from old friends (like Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton, his Cream band-mates) and his own family. His son, a fellow drummer, pretty much hates him at this point.

It’s a great film full of action, adventure and humor. It’s hard to like this guy, though. He borders on “loveable rogue,” but very often just goes too far. There’s a reason that the animated sequences between some of the narrative flows depict Ginger as a Viking slave under the boat. Each place he leaves (and he leaves a LOT of countries) is burning on the map.

If you’re interested in rock history at all, check this out. Ginger, as I said, is one of the great rock and roll/jazz drummers. What he really is, though, is a man who no one can relate to. A rock and roll Hunter S Thompson. Somehow that makes a great film.

THE HUNTER (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Daniel Nettheim
Written by: Alice Addison/Wain Fimeri
Based on book by: Julia Leigh

Willem Dafoe is one of those actors that you can always rely on. His movie may be super weird, but he will always be amazing in them. The Hunter is no exception.

Martin David (Dafoe) is a hunter. (THE hunter, in fact.) He is hired by companies to hunt animals. Why there’s a market for this, I don’t know, but he seems to make a pretty good living doing this sort of thing. At the beginning of the film he is hired to go to Australia to hunt for a species that has been long-thought extinct: the Tasmanian tiger. There have been sightings recently and this company believes that the venom may be beneficial to them. So, off Martin goes to find what may be the last of these tigers.

What he doesn’t bargain for is falling for the family that he ends up staying with. Lucy Armstrong (Frances O’Connor) and her two kids are waiting for her husband to come home from the woods that Martin is about to go into. He’s been gone a long time, though, so she figures that he’s probably dead. Hence, the deep, dark depression that she’s in. The two kids, of course, hold out hope that daddy is coming home.

Jack Mindy (Sam Neil, finally looking like the old, grizzled Australian that we all knew he’s always been) is a kindly neighbor who has been taking care of the Armstrongs since dude disappeared. He may hold some secrets, though. What does he have to do with the townsfolk who resent Martin and his ilk? They’re all loggers and every time a scientist comes a-callin’, their work gets shut down.

The Hunter does a pretty good job of keeping an even keel when it comes to its environmental message. Is it better to save the forest or save the jobs? What happens when those jobs go away even for a few days? Is it better for an animal to go extinct than for it to be exploited?

Of course, Willem is awesome and Sam holds his own. Really, the big discovery is little Morgana Davies who plays Sass Armstrong. Living up to her character’s pet name, she is a precocious little bugger and steals every scene she’s in with Willem.

Check this one out when it comes to theatres. It has an interesting 80s vibe to it (although, it’s hard to pinpoint why) and is totally worth the effort.

Ok, now let’s take a look at some of these shorts programs.

MEDIUM COOL

Medium Cool is the program of longer shorts. Typically, they’re over 25 minutes and just don’t fit into another program.

HEIMKOMMEN (2012)

Directed by: Micah Magee
Written by: Magdalena Grazewicz

Coming Home (the English title) is about a little girl and her older brother. When his girlfriend is killed in a car accident while picking up the little sister from school, he blames his sister. The rest of the film shows the indelible bond between brother and sister, even when one of them isn’t really a fan of the other.

What I liked best about the film is that the end doesn’t have a giant outburst of emotion that brings the two back together. It’s a quiet moment of understanding.

THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY (2012)

Directed by: Trevor Anderson
Written by: Trevor Anderson

How do you tell the story of a gay man? As a musical, of course! This musical is about the filmmaker’s gay uncle who he never heard about. It’s all filmed in a parking garage the spirals downwards…just like the man’s life. The music is catchy, it has some very funny moments and a great Judy Garland impression.

My only complaint is that the last scene goes on far too long. It’s probably supposed to make you uncomfortable, but it only made me bored. Otherwise, it’s a very heartfelt look at the life of a gay man during a time when being gay wasn’t so “fabulous.”

RANDOM STRANGERS (2011)

Directed by: Alexis Dos Santos
Written by: Alexis Dos Santos/Laurence Coriat

Two young people (one in Berlin, the other in Beunos Aires) meet each other on something like Chat Roulette. They play music to each other, talk to each other and get closer to each other just by being on the same website. There’s a bit of a dark side to these two crazy kids, but the film keeps its charm throughout. In a world where we seem to be drifting apart, it’s nice to know that something can keep us together. (Although, Chat Roulette is a little creepy. I think it eventually turned into Penis Roulette.)

IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY (2011)

Directed by: Don Hertzfeldt
Written by: Don Hertzfeldt

Don Hertzfeldt’s latest entry into his “Everything Will Be OK” trilogy finishes the story of Bill. Just like the other two, it’s dark, it’s tragic and it’s occasionally hilarious. I love pretty much every one of Don’s shorts and this is no exception. I really wanted to re-watch the other two before I got into this one, but I didn’t have a chance. Too bad, because they probably tell a pretty coherent (but experimental) story. His shorts get more and more interesting with every one and I can’t wait to watch this one again.

ANIMATED SHORTS

From one long animated short to a bunch of short ones. Unfortunately, there weren’t any truly awesome ones this year and a lot of mediocre shorts. Kind of a meh year. In fact, some of them were so unmemorable that I can’t remember a thing about them. I’m just going to review that ones I fully remember. Could be a pretty short list.

663114 (2011)

Directed by: Isamu Hirabayashi
Written by: Isamu Hirabayashi

A 66 year cicada tells its story of living through a tsunami, an earthquake and a strange accident in Japan. Interesting animation and a pretty cool story made this one of the highlights of the program. Not amazing, but definitely worth checking out if you get a chance.

CHOCOLATE MILK (2011)

Directed by: Eliza Kinkz
Written by: Eliza Kinkz

A young Texas girl goes through rehab, telling her story through her love of chocolate milk. Pretty funny stuff, but it seems to almost say that marijuana is a gateway to the harder stuff. I don’t think I agree, but whatever. Makes for a good story.

COMBUSTION (2011)

Directed by: Renaud Hallee
Written by: Renaud Hallee

No story here, just interesting visuals of animated fire. A good way to start the program off. Luckily, it was short, so it didn’t wear out its welcome.

GIRAFFE DANGER (2011)

Directed by: Randall Hopkins
Written by: Randall Hopkins

Probably my least favorite of all of the shorts. A neurotic giraffe is drinking water and yelling at a bug for no apparent reason. Not particularly funny or well-drawn. It kind of felt like an early outake from Madagascar. You know, the bit that they half-assedly animated just to please a studio exec who thought he was hilarious. Then they immediately cut it.

LITTLE BOAT (2011)

Directed by: Nelson Boles
Written by: Nelson Boles

This was one of my favorites of the program. Not a lot to it, but it was fun and just a slight bit touching. It’s just the story of a little boat as it travels around the world, though peaceful rivers, wars, oceans…wherever boats can float. It gets torn up as it goes and then, as it makes its way back, repaired by the very people who damaged it in the first place. The animation was simple, but effective and it all struck just the right chords.

THE MAKER (2011)

Directed by: Christopher Kezelos
Written by: Christopher Kezelos

Another cool one. A strange looking being makes a friend in his image. Interesting stop-motion (I think they used real teeth). Definitely worth a look.

(NOTES ON) BIOLOGY (2011)

Directed by: Danny Madden
Written by: Danny Madden

The animation on this one is flip-book style, but that’s kind of the point. Lots of stuff going on in the head of the hero as he listens to his biology teacher drone on about all the different -ologies. A fun little short that doesn’t set out to be anything else. And the flip-book is pretty amazing.

ONCE IT STARTED IT COULD NOT END OTHERWISE (2011)

Directed by: Kelly Sears
Written by: Kelly Sears

It took me a while to figure out what this one was doing. I almost wish that it has been more serious. It’s a story about finding a bunch of year books in the trash and piecing together a horrible story under the pictures. Basically, Sears cut the most frightened faces out of the year books and edited them into an ominous storyline. I probably would have liked it more if I hadn’t been half asleep. That’s the danger of doing anything towards the end of the festival.

REDDISH BROWN AND BLUEISH GREEN (2011)

Directed by: Samantha Gurry
Written by: Samantha Gurry

This one was MUCH more ominous. Apparently, Gurry found a box of mementos in the trash and put together a true story of a drug-addicted woman who had a baby. A tragic story told in an effective way.

THE SHRINE/AN ARGUMENT (2011)

Directed by: Sean Pecknold
Written by: Sean Pecknold

I feel like I saw this one on tv not too long ago, but I don’t know why. It’s awesome animation of an elk having adventures and, eventually, being swallowed up by gods. It’s basically a music video for a Fleet Foxes song. Good stuff.

SUMMER BUMMER (2011)

Directed by: Bill Plympton
Written by: Bill Plympton

Bill Plympton is always good for a laugh and Summer Bummer lives up to it. It’s incredibly slight, but still pretty funny. A guy is about to jump into a pool, but thinks better of it when he starts to think that a shark may be in it…in typical Plymptoon style. Of course, you know how this will probably end.

MIDNIGHT SHORTS

The Midnight Shorts fared a bit better than the Animated Shorts this year. I think I at least enjoyed most of them. A lot of them were actually memorable! The best thing about the Midnight Shorts is that they typically aren’t meant to be meaningful cinema. They’re usually just out to make you laugh or vomit. I like that.

CHEAP EXTERMINATION (2011)

Directed by: Minka Farthing-Kohl
Written by: Minka Farthing-Kohl

This was one of the longer ones and, honestly, one of the least interesting. It’s about a man-roach who dresses up in a cheap roach costume to hide the fact that he actually is a roach. When he’s hired by an extermination company, all hell breaks loose. It takes too long to set up and the payoff just isn’t worth it. Some pretty decent acting, though.

CHERRY ON TOP (2011)

Directed by: Mike Damanskis
Written by: Charity L. Miller

A pretty funny little joke about how the economy has even affected hookers. Nothing special as far as film goes, but pretty funny for the minute it lasts.

DON’T HUG ME I’M SCARED (2011)

Directed by: Rebecca Sloan/Joseph Pelling
Written by: Rebecca Sloan/Joseph Pelling

A kids’ show style short where a bunch of puppets talk about using creativity…but not too much! A very funny short that gets more disturbing as it goes on. Then again, turning something for kids into something decidedly NOT for kids will always be funny to me.

DUCK SAUCE, “BIG BAD WOLF” (2011)

Directed by: Keith Schofield
Written by: Keith Schofield

Speaking of “not for kids,” this is a music video (of sorts) for a song called Big Bad Wolf. The video is about a bunch of people who have heads where their…erm…stuff should be. Pretty funny. Pretty gross. And I honestly hope that those people weren’t actually sticking their heads where the sun don’t shine.

I AM YOUR GRANDMA (2011)

Directed by: Jillian Mayer
Written by: Jillian Mayer

I’ve seen this one before somewhere. It’s a vlog to Jillian’s unborn grandchildren. A little song to the future showing just how bizarre their grandma was…will be…is…whatever. Funny, strange and kind of hilarious.

JPBF (

Directed by: Steve Collins
Written by: Steve Collins

A young woman is interviewing for a job at JPBF. What she doesn’t realize is that the BF might actually stand for “butt fucking.” John Merriman stars as her interviewer who has some pretty enlightening things to say about the company even as he interviews her. A pretty funny short that maybe goes on a bit long, but not so much as to make it no longer good.

J@CUZZI BOYS, “GL@ZIN’” (2011)

Directed by: Lucas Leyva/Jillian Mayer
Written by: Lucas Leyva/Jillian Mayer

Another music video, but this one is actually more over the top than the last one. It’s a bunch of singing vaginas. Actual vaginas. Actually dressed up as different characters (including Homer Simpson and Santa Claus). Actually with their lips being pulled apart to seem like they’re singing. I was done with it about a minute in. Then it went on for two or three more.

MACHINES OF THE WORKING CLASS (

Directed by: James Dastoli/Robert Dastoli
Written by: Diego Kontarovsky/Alejandro Kontarovsky

What would happen if robots decided to rise up and steal money from us? I mean, they’re part of the 99%, too, right? It might be lucky for us that they have no feelings. Good stop motion for a pretty quick little joke about the working class.

MAN & GUN (2011)

Directed by: Brian McOmber
Written by: Brian McOmber

Another one that went on FAR too long for the rather disgusting joke at the end. A man is in love with guns. No, no. In LOOOOOOVE with guns. That’s the joke. And it takes 13 minutes to get exactly where you think it’s going to get. Done.

MERMAN (2011)

Directed by: Jono Foley
Written by: Jono Foley

A man swims in the deep, clear waters with the fish, doing amazing underwater somersaults and loving life. Or is he just drunk in a kiddie pool? Funny little one-noter.

OTHER (2011)

Directed by: Daniel DelPurgatorio
Written by: Anthony Williams/Daniel DelPurgatorio/Rob Foster

High production values don’t always equal quality, but this short isn’t bad. It’s just not great. It’s about a scientist who is dying of cancer. He invents a machine that will suck the cancer out. But is it sucking more out than he thinks it is? Some pretty disgusting effects help this rise a bit above the rest. It also doesn’t hurt that it has a dark, mostly meaningful story to go with it.

PERISHED (2011)

Directed by: Aaron McCann/Stefan Androv Radanovich
Written by: Aaron McCann/Stefan Androv Radanovich

One of the longer ones, but also one of the better ones. A man just tries to get by after apparently losing his wife and basically the rest of the world in a zombie apocalypse. He locks himself into a shed until he realizes that that wasn’t the best idea. The movie doesn’t necessarily have a lot to say, but it says it in such a great way that it doesn’t matter. It’s realistic and very well made/acted/written. The end isn’t quite as harrowing as Night Of The Living Dead…but it comes close.

TUMULT (2011)

Directed by: Johnny Barrington
Written by: Johnny Barrington

Three ancient Norsemen are trudging along the countryside after a war. The father is injured and possibly dying while the two sons are fighting over who should take over their tribe. They have fought in many wars together, but the younger son has never shown that he could lead them to their next great victory. That’s when the tour bus appears over the horizon.

This was probably my favorite of the shorts. It’s going in one direction and then becomes a pretty hilarious comedy towards the middle of its 13 minute run-time. Very well-made and, while the comedy isn’t always laugh out loud, it’s still pretty great. Definite recommendation.

ZOMBIE CHIC 3D (2011)

Directed by: Todd Cobery
Written by: Todd Cobery

What happens when zombies descend upon an upscale party? Well, first off, don’t break up the furniture. EVER! Fairly funny 3D short that isn’t amazing, but is worth a shot. The 3D was old school and almost worked.

GOING TO THE STORE (2011)

Directed by: David Lewandowski
Written by: David Lewandowski

Apparently, this was the shortest film of the festival. I have a feeling that it started out as a CGI mistake that become an in-joke. Still pretty funny stuff as a naked CGI dude flips and flops his way to the store. Not meant to be anything more than hilarious.

BUT…I did make it to his keynote speech, which was fucking amazing! He basically went through the entire history of rock and roll (especially his formative years), telling us how each movement influenced him. He performed a couple of bits and pieces of songs, including Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood, when he told us “this is how successful theft happens,” as he launched into the first few bars of his own Badlands. He also performed the first verse of We Gotta Get Out Of This Place, saying “That’s every song I ever wrote!”

Bruce is the Minister Of Rock N Roll and he testified for an hour about the gods and goddesses of rock, soul, folk, country and pop. It was one of the most impassioned speeches about rock and roll that I’ve ever heard and it made me want to listen to all of it, from the beginning to now. Every sex-drenched, rebellion launching note.

Goddamn, I fucking love Bruce Springsteen.

SLEEPWALK WITH ME (2012)

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Mike Birbiglia/Seth Barrish
Written by: Mike Birbiglia/Joe Birbiglia/Ira Glass/Seth Barrish
Based on stand-up/book/life by: Mike Birbiglia

Matt Pandamiglio (Mike Birbiglia) is a terrible stand-up, but he has a real passion for it. All he seems to be able to do is keep his job as a bartender at a comedy club. His boss and his girlfriend (Lauren Ambrose) are very supportive, but they probably know that he’s just not funny. Strange thing is…he’s actually kind of funny in real life. Just not on stage.

His relationship is also kind of in trouble. He loves his girlfriend, but she wants to get married and he doesn’t. Eventually, the stress of the whole thing gets so bad that he starts sleepwalking…and sleep-fighting with jackals.

When his career starts picking up he’s happier, but under more stress. He finally figures out what’s funny when he says to a fellow comedian, “I promised myself I wouldn’t get married until I was sure that nothing else good could happen in my life.”

Now, THAT’S comedy!

The movie is pretty funny, but I kind of found myself not really caring about the relationship at all. Whether they ended up together or not didn’t really matter and, since he had an Annie Hall type of vehicle where he was telling us the story from the future while driving around town, I figured that they probably didn’t end up together.

The supporting cast was great with Carol Kane and James Rebhorn as his parents as the ones that you can’t take your eyes off of. Mike I wasn’t so into, though. He was kind of weak and sniveling. And, really, if I’m going to watch a movie, I don’t want to watch myself as the lead character.

This whole thing is based on Mike’s life. He really did about 90% of the stuff in this movie. The real girlfriend has seen the movie and loves it. I thought it was perfectly watchable and even enjoyable most of the time. I just can’t say that it’s a great movie. In fact, after the next film, I had completely forgotten that I had even seen this one.

And, actually, the next film I can review. It was a work in progress screening of Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me. Because it’s a work in progress, they don’t want anyone reviewing it, unfortunately. Honestly, the cut they showed was great. The filmmakers did say that they had a lot of work to do on it and, after they told us what they planned, I kind of understand. There are things about this band’s history that they had cut out and were now thinking of putting back in.

By the way, if you’ve never heard of Big Star, shame on you. Go find their three albums and listen to them in order of release. (That would be #1 Record, Radio City, Third/Sister Lovers.) All three albums are great and influenced so much more than their extremely limited success could ever tell you. Listen to those records and then listen to an early REM album. You’ll see what I mean. This band was FAR more than “the guys who wrote That 70s Show’s theme song.” We lost a great, untapped talent when Alex Chilton died a couple of years ago…and before that when Chris Bell was killed in a car accident in the late 70s.

CITADEL (2012)

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Ciaran Foy
Written by: Ciaran Foy

Once there were seven towers that even U2 could only see one way out of. Those seven towers are all gone now, but Citadel tells the story of three towers in the same situation.

Tommy and his pregnant wife (Aneurin Barnard and Amy Shiels) are finally moving out of one of those tenement towers. Unfortunately, she is put into a coma by a band of feral children just before they leave the building, eventually dying after giving birth. Tommy is left to raise the little girl, but becomes agoraphobic in return. He continues to see the children all around his “new” house, which is still in the shadow of the tenements. Once again, he’s trying to move out, but he find out that, yes indeed, the children are after his young daughter. A crazy old priest (James Cosmo) tells him so.

As far as parables about drug addiction go, this is a pretty damn good one. My main problem is with two small bits of story telling. First off, Tommy’s wife is killed because he leaves her standing outside of their apartment for no reason at all. He tells her, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” and proceeds to go down the elevator to take the only bags that they have. She has no bags with her. Why the hell is she waiting there? So that they can kiss the place goodbye together? Definitely a BIG flaw.

The second one is a bit smaller, but still noticeable. He comes back to his new home one day and goes about his daily indoor life. (He’s able to leave, but it’s VERY hard for him.) He thinks he sees the hooded creatures around the house and one of them might even be in the house. He goes to the front door and locks it.

Wait…what? He didn’t lock it immediately when he got home? I don’t buy that at all. This guy would be boarding up all of the doors and windows everytime he got back home.

Little things like that can break the suspension of disbelief. Luckily, they both happen early enough that you can sort of forget them if the movie is good enough. This one nearly is. It’s a good little horror flick with some great acting. (Aneurin is actually fucking amazing. He’s also in Hunky Dory, also at the festival.) Not perfect (and not quite Ils), but still definitely worth catching.

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Tom Kingsley/Will Sharpe
Written by: Tom Kingsley/Will Sharpe

Black Pond is a strange one. It’s about a family in England that is accused of killing a houseguest and then burying him in the woods in back of their house. What actually happened is that they did much worse things to each other than anything that they did to their houseguest.
Tom and Sophie (Chris Langham and Amanda Hadingue) are bored with their lives. They’ve been married for years and are just in the doldrums. Sophie gave up her dreams of being a poet and Tom has spent his entire life providing for his family. His two daughters are self-absorbed college girls who seem to sort of hate their parents. Then there’s Tim, the guy who has lived with them since he was a kid. He cooks and cleans for them not because he’s their servant, but because he’s bored and has nothing else to do.
Then Blake (Colin Hurley) appears out of nowhere. He’s a rather poetic, but slightly crazy guy who Tom meets in the park while he’s looking for the family dog, Boy. I wouldn’t necessarily say that the two men hit it off. It’s more awkward than that because Blake is such a strange guy. It’s more that they see kindred spirits in each other in a really strange way.
The movie plays out like a very British, dark comedy version of Arrested Development (complete with the worst therapist in the world). It’s a mockumentary about the events that led up to their indictment. Really, though, the only mockumentary aspects are the interviews with the family members interspersed throughout the film. Other than that, it’s just a weird little family comedy full of bizarre-ish characters and a strange circumstance.
It’s a fun movie. Nowhere near great, but definitely worth checking out.

PAUL WILLIAMS: STILL ALIVE (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Stephen Kessler
Written by: Stephen Kessler

Is it strange that I was more interested in seeing this movie than the one about Bad Brains? Probably, but whatever. I wear my “I like good song craft” button on my sleeve. (Nothing against Bad Brains at all. They’re amazing. I would just rather listen to something with a tune most of the time.)
Paul Williams was a rare breed that, in the 70s, seemed to be a bit more prolific. I like to think of them as classic, almost vaudevillian, songwriters. Harry Nilsson, Randy Newman, Dr. Hook…they all thrived on classical songwriting with an old school feel. Paul was actually the most successful of all of them, not with his own versions of his songs, but with other people recording them. The Carpenters (We’ve Only Just Begun, Won’t Last A Day Without You, Rainy Days And Mondays), Three Dog Night (Out In The Country, An Old Fashioned Love Song, Family Of Man), Barbra Streisand (Evergreen), Helen Reddy (You And Me Against The World)…all of them huge hits. (Say what you say about all of these folks, they knew how to pick well written songs. I can’t stand Barbra, but she had some amazing songwriters.)
Of course, what most people know him for is writing The Rainbow Connection. Some will know him for starring in and writing the music for Phantom Of The Paradise.
Then it all fell apart in the late 70s when he got too involved in his own drug and alcohol addiction. Soon enough, after the tv guest appearances dried up, even his biggest fans (including Stephen Kessler who directed The Independent years ago) thought that he had died.
Luckily, he is still alive. As soon as Stephen found out, he figured that he would make a movie that proved it. The movie that he made ends up being just as much about his relationship with Paul as it is about Paul himself. For once, this works in the film’s favor. When he first approaches Paul about the project, I’m nervous for him. When Paul keeps treating him like a third wheel, I feel for him. When he finally finds something to click with Paul on (squid, of all things), I rejoice with him.
Paul is one of those artists who did things the old fashioned way. He wrote great songs that would have fit, really, in any era, but he could only have been huge in the 70s. I’m glad that someone has decided that he was worthy of his own movie. It was worth the wait.

TRASH DANCE (2012)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Andrew Garrison

For the past couple of years, Allison Orr has been doing something that probably wouldn’t be possible anywhere but Austin, TX. She has been writing choreography for trash trucks and workers.
Yep. The title of the documentary is literal.
This is the story of how the first Trash Dance was put together. It’s a slight little story, but one that puts a human face on the people who pick up our waste. And, really, while the actual dance is pretty amazing (the most moving bit is a crane solo, which is exactly what it sounds like it is), the human face is what makes this movie great. We learn quite a bit about this crew in the 66 minute run-time. Maybe, after seeing this crowd pleaser, we’ll look at the trash folks in a different way.
Although, I think they found some of the most conscientious trash people in Austin. All of the ones on any of my streets like to throw the trash cans in front of my driveway after they empty them. Awfully nice of ‘em.

IRON SKY (201

**½ (2.5/5)

Directed by: Timo Vuorensola
Written by: Johanna Sinisalo/Jarmo Puskala/Michael Kalesniko

Space Nazis! How can you go wrong?
Well, directors/writers Vuorensola, Sinisalo, Puskala and Kalesniko will show you how.
Apparently, the Nazis didn’t all die off. Nope. They just blasted off into space and have been living on the dark side of the moon since 1945. Enterprising fuckers.
Now it’s time for them to wreak havoc on Earth once again.
What sounds like a great premise is, unfortunately, over-written and amateurishly pulled off. Sure, the SFX look pretty good for having been all cheap CGI. (Really good, actually.) But the music is about what you would expect from a bad porn and the story is so all over the place that you really don’t care by about 15 minutes in. There’s some good political/social humor here (the American’s space warship is called USS George W Bush, Finland is the only country that didn’t secretly arm their space warship), but the movie just kind of fell flat for me. A lot of the characters seemed to switch sides more than Ronald Reagan and I never knew if I was supposed to like them or hate them.
If you absolutely have to see a movie about space Nazis (and I thought I had to), or if you’re a huge Udo Kier fan (he plays the Fuhrer), go for it. There’s enough to enjoy if you’re lenient or if you just want to have fun with some drunk-ass friends picking a movie apart. Otherwise, you can probably skip it.

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Eduardo Sánchez
Written by: Eduardo Sánchez/Jamie Nash

When the father of the modern trend of “found footage” horror movies makes a new one, you typically take notice. Strangely, though, I feel like there wasn’t a lot made of the fact that Lovely Molly is the new film from the writer/director of The Blair Witch Project. Crazy, eh?

Molly (Gretchen Lodge in her film debut) has some issues. She recently married Tim (Johnny Lewis) and they’re still in the honeymoon stage. For some reason, they decide to move into her childhood home, which appears to be in the middle of nowhere. When the alarm goes off in the middle of the night, it’s their first clue that something is wrong. Tim KNOWS he locked the back door, but it’s wide open with no sign of forced entry.

From there, it’s a methodical ride to the depths of insanity. We slowly find out Molly’s past and her history with her father. Is he haunting the place? Or has her mind finally snapped? Does her sister, Hannah (Alexandra Holden) know more than she thinks she does? And what’s up with that closet?

Lovely Molly is, if not an amazing film, a very good one. It’s creepy as shit, the performances are all really good and it leaves you wondering exactly what happened…in a good way.

Of course, the pivotal role of Molly could have destroyed the whole film if they had chosen the wrong actress. I can’t wait to see what Gretchen Lodge does next. She was amazing and braver than you. Much like Blair Witch, she is video taping a sort of diary. The whole movie isn’t from her perspective (most of it, in fact, is traditional filmmaking), but Molly ends up using the camera to talk to her father.

Good stuff that, hopefully, brings Eduardo Sanchez a little bit of respect.

V/H/S (2012)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: David Bruckner/Glenn McQuaid/Radio Silence/Joe Swanberg/Ti West/Adam Wingard
Written by: Simon Barrett/Matt Bettinelli-Olpin/David Bruckner/Tyler Gillett/Justin Martinez/Glenn McQuaid/Radio Silence/Nicholas Tecosky/Chad Villella/Ti West

Strangely enough, there haven’t been many losers in the horror flicks yet. Actually, quite a few really strong contenders and, surprisingly, this anthology of found footage short films is among the strongest.

The framing story is about a bunch of assholes who run around breaking things and filming themselves forcibly pulling the shirts off of random women in the street, basically raping them with their eyes. (Commentary on nudity in horror films? Maybe.) They apparently make about $50 each time they do this and turn in their footage to some web dude in the sky.

One of the new recruits says that he has a better idea, leading them to a house full of about 100 VHS tapes with random footage…and there’s a dead body in the room with the VHS player.

That’s about the weakest thing here, really. The actual shorts are all really good. One deals with a group of douchebags who pick up a couple of women. One of the guys is wearing spy glasses that are recording the whole thing. They take the girls back to a hotel room, expecting to make a homemade porn. Instead, they get bloody, disgusting death.

Next up is a couple (Joe Swanberg and Sophia Takal) on a second honeymoon. They’re traveling around Arizona, hanging out at the Grand Canyon and generally having a nice trip. Suddenly, a girl shows up at their hotel room really late at night to ask for a ride. She’s only there for a few seconds, but she has a huge impact on the rest of their trip. Ti West directed this one and he’s back in House Of The Devil mode, luckily.

The third short is about four young friends who head out to the woods to swim and party. At least that’s what three of them want. One of them keeps suddenly saying things like, “You’re all gonna die down here” and then moving on to another subject. Could there be a fifth on the trip?

Swanberg directs the next short about a couple who don’t get to spend a lot of time together. He is always on the road and she’s a bit of an introvert. They video chat a lot, though…which leads to him helping her find a few possible ghosts in her house.

Last, but certainly not least, is Radio Silence’s short about a bunch of guys on their way to a Halloween party. They end up at a haunted house complete with a cult.

V/H/S was one of those movies that I was only half-interested in because I’m wishy washy on Ti West and I didn’t think Swanberg would be awesome at horror. (Those two guys were the most recognizable names for me. The rest I had to look up and have an “Oh, THAT guy!” moment.) Luckily, everyone was at the top of their games and this movie ended up being one of the more “roller coaster” movies that I’ve seen so far. Always exciting, always creepy and, interestingly enough, always just funny enough.

And, just so you know, they don’t shy away from nudity at all after that first possible commentary on exploitation. The rest of the nudity, though, is organic and makes sense to the film…even the dudity.

This is a flick that I’ll definitely be looking for when it comes out. It seems a shame to buy it on Blu-Ray, though. VHS is, of course, the perfect medium for it. Too bad I don’t feel like hooking up my VHS player just to watch one movie.

** (2/5)

Directed by: Christoffer Boe
Written by: Christoffer Boe
Based on book by:

Anytime a Danish film plays at one of my festivals I try to see it. Those guys are getting darker and darker and I like it.
Beast is certainly a dark film, but I’m not sure that I liked it.

Bruno (Nicolas Bro) loves his wife, Maxine (Marijana Jankovic). He’s helplessly devoted to her, in fact. So much so that he would do anything to make her happy. After cutting her and drinking a bit of her blood (“Now you’re in me!), he starts to go through some changes. These are painful and awful changes. Almost as if he’s…pregnant.

Maxine, on the other hand, starts to hate Bruno. She’s cheating on him with one of their married friends. There’s a big part of her that wants Bruno to die, although she would never admit it.

As the film goes on, both of them just get worse and worse to each other, especially Bruno. He’s sick, but he won’t admit it. Even when he passes out, he berates Maxine for trying to help him.

The movie falls apart pretty early on. It’s pretty hard to keep up with why things are happening or even what is happening.

According to the filmmakers who were at the first screening (which I did not see, but heard about), the original intention was the show the story for two different points of view. When one of them wasn’t working at all, they cut all of it out, leaving the other view to flap in the wind. The film that they have left is a bit disjointed and just doesn’t make a lot of sense.

It sound like they know this. Weird that they decided to just go with it.

The lead actors are very good, but that’s really about the only thing that I can recommend. Yes, it’s dark. Yes, it’s very Danish. But, unfortunately, it’s just not all that good. All it really manages to be is weird.

JOHN DIES AT THE END (2012)

**½ (2.5/5)

Directed by: Don Coscarelli
Written by: Don Coscarelli
Based on book by: David Wong

Don Coscarelli will always have a genre audience if only because of two movies: Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep. While I love Bubba Ho-Tep, I know that it will never be mistaken for a great movie. Phantasm is a taste that I may never acquire. The movie just isn’t very scary and I don’t really understand the cult behind it. It’s decent, but that’s about it.

David (Chase Williamson) is a slacker high school student (who doesn’t look particularly “high school) who accidentally gets caught up in an alien plot to take over the world. Or he could just be high on something called “soy sauce” that his buddy John (Rob Mayes) introduced him to. These two losers travel through multiple dimensions to do their best to stop the plot.

The whole story is being told by David to a reporter (Paul Giamatti who also produced). The story seems to make a lot more sense to Paul than it does to the audience. The first half hour of the movie was so much fun that I was really ready to like it a lot! Then it took a turn into “WTF-Land” and became something that I couldn’t describe if I tried.

There are a lot of interesting ideas going on in the movie and plenty of good performances. Unfortunately, it’s all mired in absolute silliness, cheesy CGI effects (which, yes, this was on a budget…I understand), VERY cheap (sometimes funny) laughs. If I had read the book I probably would have hated the movie. As it is, I think it’s worth checking out if only for the first half hour and the few good moments after that. Just PLEASE don’t expect too much.

In light of that, you’ll have to pardon the following (and, actually, previous) horribly written review.

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Brian Knappenberger
Written by: Brian Knappenberger

Sometimes, the internet is actually useful. What’s surprising is how.

The group now known as Anonymous was once just a bunch of people who made lolcats and messed with pre-teen game websites. Then, one day, that all changed and they became “newsworthy.”

We Are Legion follows the story of Anonymous and shows us just how powerful an anonymous voice can be. From messing with a white supremacist radio show host to helping to topple the Egyptian government (seriously), hacktivists have become a HUGE voice in world politics.

Knappenberger’s film does what no news organization will ever do: it gives Anonymous the credit where it is due. Sure, they’ve done some pretty stupid things, but they’ve also done some great things that have changed things for the better. (Showing Scientologists for the money hungry science-fiction fans that they are is one of the best ways.)

This is a documentary that I may have to watch more than once just to understand everything that these guys have done and how they did it. I think that, no matter how many times I watch it though, I’ll find new ways to be entertained…and that’s a great recommendation for a documentary.

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Neil Berkeley
Written by: Neil Berkeley/Chris Bradley/Kevin Klauber

Wayne White is not a household name, but many of his creations were for a while. He is the creator of many of the most beloved characters on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. For an entire generation of tv watchers, Chairry, Dirty Dog and Randy were some of the best friends a man-child could have. (Especially Chairry. Who wouldn’t want a chair that could hug you?)

But Wayne is more than just some amazing puppets on a wacked-out kids’ show. He’s also the son of a Tennessee couple who have supported him in everything he’s done (although his dad doesn’t quite understand his son’s art). He’s the husband of a comic writer/artist. He’s the father of two budding artists. And now he’s becoming a much more famous artist in art circles that he never thought that he would have anything to do with, all because he decided to paint a few words on a cheap painting.

Beauty Is Embarrassing is Wayne’s story. He’s a crazy man with opinions to spare and a heart that won’t quit. He has nothing but love for the world, but it sometimes comes across as hostile. He will at times burst into a kind of hillbilly dance that, really, only he could make cool.

We hear about his journey from a small boy who drew crazy pictures in 1st grade to his crazy times in college when he finally found kindred spirits, to his best times with Pee-Wee, to his worst times on Beakman’s World and six other projects at the same time all the way to the release of his first art book, Maybe Now I’ll Get the Respect I So Richly Deserve.

I can only hope that, through the release of the book and this film, he will finally get that respect. He absolutely does deserve it.

White is an amazing talent who absolutely lives up to his book’s title (Now Maybe I’ll Finally Get The Respect That I Truly Deserve)
Doc’s flow works for such a cluttered and interesting mind
Pee-Wee’s is a show that I need to catch up on…wasn’t a huge fan when it happened, but now look back and realize how important it really was
HUGE influence on current trends

SINISTER (2012)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Scott Derrickson
Written by: Scott Derrickson/C Robert Cargill

The found footage trend in horror has kind of been done to death. According to Joss Whedon, it’s a step back in the right direction because it’s about “the thing almost seen.” While I can agree with that, I also think that not everyone and their dog can do it right.

Scott Derrickson and C Robert Cargill’s Sinister pulls off something that I didn’t think could be done: it does something with found footage that, while not really new, makes it incredibly creepy again.

Ellison (Ethan Hawke) is a true crime novelist who is looking for his next big hit. It’s been ten years and his family is in need of some money. He finds a story in a small town murder of a family…but he may have found more than that, too. When he finds connections to other murders spread out all over the country and time, he realizes that he might be on the verge of something more important than he ever thought possible. The clues are in a bunch of super 8 films that he found in the attic of his new house…the very same house that the murdered family lived in.

Ethan Hawke is great as a man crumbling under the pressure of keeping his family together and trying to restart his career while trying to keep his sanity. The insanely creepy images that he sees in the films certainly don’t help him. These films are among the most frightening things I’ve seen on the big screen in years.

Cargill knows horror movies. I know this because I’ve had conversations with the guy at Fantastic Fest and Butt Numb-a-Thon. Of course, I would also know this from the movie itself. His story is one of the best ghost stories I’ve seen since The Devil’s Backbone. I can’t wait to see what the general public thinks of this Shining-esque movie. It’s everything that Insidious wanted to be.

Also, night terrors are the scariest thing ever.