This year kicked of with a video sent from Harry’s buddy, Quint, over in New Zealand. Quint’s been on the set of The Hobbit for the last few months and has been reporting on the filming of the future masterpieces. He did some behind the scene intros for the video and it was all a lot of fun. Then Peter Jackson called Gandalf (Ian McKellen) over because Quint was feeling pretty awful for not being at his best friend’s birthday party. Gandalf did a little hocus pocus and, after some in theatre explosions, Quint was in the audience! Gandalf leaned in to the camera and told us that he had secretly stashed a copy of the trailer in Quint’s bag just before he sent him.

WE GET TO SEE A TRAILER!?!?!

Well, first, Quint had to find a trailer bearer. You see, you don’t just walk into the Alamo projection room. A few people stood up, but it was Elijah Wood who stood up and yelled, “I will take it!” and ran up to Quint.

Wow. We’re all such freakin’ geeks, because this was awesome.

Well, they couldn’t get the trailer to work, so we had to go into the first film, but we did eventually see the trailer…three times in a row. I can’t tell you anything specific about it, but godDAMN, it looks amazing. I am hardly going to be able to wait until next December to see this movie.

The first movie that we saw was one that Harry introduced by saying that we had all probably just paid to see it very recently. He didn’t care, though, because it’s his birthday and he doesn’t care if it was just released a couple of weeks ago. The movie was pretty much about him and, as soon as he programmed it, all the rest of the programming just fell into place. Luckily, Hugo is probably my favorite movie this year.

Watching it a second time, I really noticed all of the more subtle film images throughout the entire movie. All of the clock faces and gears look like film reels and many of them make the noise of a film projector. Hugo runs around the clockworks, looking out of all of the windows as if he’s watching movies about all of the people who work at the train station. He’s a voyeur just like we all are when we watch movies.

I love this movie and it’s at least as good on a second viewing. It also helped to introduce what ended up being an underlying theme of the festival and, really, all movies: unexpected adventure.

Next up was a movie that plays a big role in Hugo.

A TRIP TO THE MOON (1902)

***** (5/5)

Directed by: Georges Méliès
Written by: Georges Méliès

Georges Melies was THE early visionary of film. Before Melies, film was a sideshow technology. Even the Lumiere Brothers had no idea that film would be a truly big deal. Melies figured out that you could actually tell a story with film.

A Trip To The Moon is Melies’ most famous film and deservedly so. It tells a simple story of a group of scientists (or wizards, depending on how you take the long beards and hats that they wear) who figure out how to go to the moon. They all climb aboard their rocket, hit the man in the moon in the eye, fight some mooninites, bring one back to Earth and are heroes. End story.

While the story was huge for its time, the sets are what amazes now. It’s all stage sets, but they still look better than a lot of CGI sets made today. Because of his background as a magician, he was the first filmmakers to use special effects on screen. His use of jump cuts to make people and objects appear, disappear and change instantly was an accidental invention, but he used it all the time to amaze his audiences.

If you have any interest in film history, A Trip To The Moon is absolutely essential to your film viewing. If you like sci-fi films, this was the first. It’s beautiful to see on the big screen. I wish it had been a tinted version (hand-tinted, of course), but it’s still a great film that should be seen by anyone with the slightest interest in film.

JUST IMAGINE (1930)

** (2/5)

Directed by: David Butler
Written by: Buddy G. DeSylva/Lew Brown/Ray Henderson

In 1930, Hollywood was looking for something new to put on the screen. Movies had just started talking fairly recently, so what could they do with this new version of the media?

Well, a sci-fi musical, of course!

That’s right, kids. This is not only Hollywood’s first sci-fi film, but it’s the first sci-fi musical!

Let’s not take that as a great thing just yet.

Basically a remake of A Trip To The Moon, Just Imagine takes place in 1980, a time far too distant for citizens of 1930 to even dream about. Cars have been replaced by airplanes, marriages have to be approved by the state (weird…we’re pretty much just starting that now), everyone has a number instead of a name and there are no people with pigment in their skin.

In other words, it’s a Republican dream!

LN-18 (a pre-Tarzan Maureen O’Sullivan) and J-21 (John Garrick) are in love. Unfortunately, another man has asked for permission to marry LN-18 and he is above J-21 on the pecking order. This, of course, means that he gets first priority. Unless, of course, J-21 can distinguish himself in the his field: aviation.

What’s a boy to do when everything’s already been done in aviation?

Luckily, esteemed scientist X-10 (Wilfred Lucas) wants to send J-21 to Mars. If he succeeds, he’ll be able to marry LN-18 and everything will be hunky dory. This can only happen, though, if he survives the trip.

Along for the fun are his best friend RT-42 (Frank Albertson) and Single-0 (El Brendel). Single-0 is a man who was somehow frozen in 1930 and is thawed out. He’s all about comic relief and has almost no bearing on the story. He just runs around with a Swedish accent (“What about yustice?!”) and does some vaguely funny Harpo Marx routines. El was a comedian at the time and this was his schtick on vaudeville. He’s kinda funny, but nothing to write home about.

Really, there’s not much to write home about for any of this movie. The sets are pretty amazing and the effects are nice. (A couple of the uncredited effects guys would go on to break down barriers with King Kong a few years later.) But that’s really it. The story is silly, the acting is stiff and the songs are kind of awful.

This isn’t an easy film to see. Amazon is out of stock and the ones that are for sale by other sellers are $999.99. Trust me. It’s not worth all that. If you really want to see the sets, check out a serial from the same time period. A lot of them were reused for…well, I can’t actually remember the serial. Apparently, it’s awesome, though. Too bad.

If you do see it, check out the strangest song of the entire movie where RT-42 and his wife sing about how they no longer kill flies because that fly might be in love with another fly. Then they save a pair of flies just so they can force them upon each other.

Um…what?

Also, there’s a jab at Henry Ford’s antisemitism. THAT is some funny stuff.

Next up was a different kind of adventure.

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Tomas Alfredson
Written by: Bridget O’Connor/Peter Straughan
Based on book by: John le Carre

John le Carre is one of the preeminent Cold War spy novels. With books like The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1962) and The Looking Glass War (1965), he basically invented the cerebral, inward-looking spy novel. His books aren’t about globe hopping and lady laying. His are about the inner struggles of being a spy and the inner workings of MI6 and the Circus, the upper echelon of British spies.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (1974) is one of his best loved novels with his most well known creation, George Smiley. Smiley is a man whose entire life revolves around the Circus. Although he’s married, his wife is barely a character in the story…or his life, for that matter.

In the beginning of the film, Smiley (Gary Oldman) is in the middle of a forced retirement. His former boss, Control (John Hurt), calls him back into duty to find out who the mole is among his co-workers. They all seem to have different views from Control, but one of them is feeding information back to the Soviets. Who could it be? When Control dies, Smiley is basically on his own to save his country.

There’s the entire plot. Just a few lines. But, while the movie is VERY good, it’s also incredibly hard to follow at times. In fact, in my already tired state at this point in the day, I was pretty much lost by the time I got my burger. (In fact, that might have been what totally distracted me from what was truly going on. Don’t eat while watching this movie. You’ll get lost and never find your way again.) With all of the names, double-crosses and characters, it was nearly impossible to truly figure out.

This, of course, does not make this a bad film. The plot is kind of a McGuffin. We don’t necessarily care who the mole is. What we care about is seeing Smiley go through the motions of finding the mole. We care about the toll that it takes on Smiley. We care about seeing all of these characters interact together.

It also helps that Gary Oldman is at the top of his game here. Smiley is a very “normal” character and Oldman manages to make him real. There were definitely times that I forgot that this was Sid Viscous/Beethoven/Sirius Black that I was watching. His voice has a British aristocracy lilt to it that I’ve never heard from him before. His face, although not really made up, was older than ever before. And he was perfectly amazing.

The rest of the cast was just as good. Toby Jones, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch (it was nice to see Sherlock play Holmes), Ciaran Hines…all were great. Alfredon’s (Let The Right One In) direction caught all of these performances perfectly, often from a distance away…much like a spy would have.

After sitting through the two hour film, just about everyone had the same look on their face: “That was great! What happened?” Luckily, the studio knew that they had made possibly the most cerebral and complex spy film in decades, so the Alamo staff was provided with dossiers for every audience member, complete with plot points, character sketches and basically a flow chart explaining what the fuck happened.

I kind of love them for it.

This is definitely a film that warrants multiple viewings. I can’t wait to give it another shot and see if I can follow more of it. I’ll have one up on the rest of the audience with the dossier in my hand.

Hell, I actually can’t wait to read the book.

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Written by: Michele Mulroney/Kieran Mulroney
Based on characters created by: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Sherlock Holmes has come back in a big way lately. In 2009, Guy Ritchie directed the amped up version of the world’s greatest detective to accolades and dollars. Then there was the BBC update of the original stories perfectly cast with Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes and Martin Freeman as Watson. There will also be an American version of the Holmes legend on television soon.

Now, Ritchie is back with the sequel to the film that restarted it all. This time out, Holmes (Robert Downey, Jr) and Watson (Jude Law) are on the run from Holmes’ greatest enemy, Professor James Moriarty (creepily played by Jared Harris). The two men are perfectly matched in just about every way with one exception: Moriarty is willing to kill anyone who gets in his way. Even the innocent.

Watson, of course, is about to get married when he and Holmes reconnect, so he is none too excited to get caught up in this latest adventure. The bromance is palpable and the near homosexuality of the two leads is played up even more than it is in the BBC show. “Lay with me, Watson.”

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen the original, so it’s hard for me to compare the two. From what I remember of it, though, I think this one is just as much fun and just as good. Yes, there are plenty of explosions and the direction is kinetic, as always. This is no sedate, Basil Rathbone film, but I think you all knew that. To say that it has a Michael Bay style is to insult the movie. It’s not dumb like a Bay movie. It’s not shit like a Bay movie. This is a Guy Ritchie film and he is getting back in our good graces by using other peoples’ characters. (His next project is The Man From U.N.C.L.E.)

Of course, this movie really has almost nothing to do with the original stories. There are things that fans will recognize, but there’s no story that I know of that follows this kind of path. (Somehow I doubt that Conan Doyle teamed the boys up with a sexy gypsy woman (Noomi Rapace) who kicks just as much ass as the two men. And I don’t think that Mycroft (Stephen Frye) was as…strange…as this version of him.)

This was an incredibly fun movie and, honestly, I can’t wait for these folks to team up again for a third film.

THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS (1946)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Robert Florey
Written by: William Fryer Harvey/Curt Siodmak/Harold Goldman (uncredited)

At one time, a man like Peter Lorre could be a huge star. With his bugged out eyes and crazy voice, you would think that he would be a hard sell. But Lorre was a movie star pretty much from the first time he stepped onto the screen in M in 1931. He has never stopped being an icon.

That’s why it was a bit surprising when Harry said that he had never played a Lorre film at BNAT. The fuck you say?

The Beast With Five Fingers was a pretty good way to start.

Lorre plays an astronomer who lives with an eccentric old pianist (Victor Francen) who has lost the use of his right side. His music has been rewritten by a cynical young man named Bruce Conrad (Robert Alda). When the old man dies leaving all of his money to his nurse (Andrea King), his descendants descend upon his house to try to make it seem like the old man was a blundering fool and that the money should come to him. Of course, Bruce and the nurse are in love.

Oh yeah…Peter Lorre. He actually plays a big role in this, although the description makes it seem like he doesn’t. He is pretty much the catalyst for the whole thing to happen. He’s incredibly protective of his books and his research and wants everyone out of the house…except for the nurse, of course. She can stay.

As time goes on, Lorre goes crazier and crazier and starts to see a disembodied hand crawling around the house and occasionally playing music. Sometimes it even kills people.

This is a great little film that, unfortunately, is hard to find outside of this sort of festival. It’s never been released on DVD and Warner has no plans of releasing it. That’s really too bad because I think the movie could find a niche audience now.

If you ever get a chance to see it, check it out.

G.I. JOE 2: RETALIATION TRAILER

Well, they got rid of Stephen Sommers, so I guess that’s a step in the right direction. But they replaced him with Jon M Chu, director of such classics as Step Up 2, Step Up 3D and Justin Beiber: Never Say Never.

Uh…what?

First off, was anyone really clamoring for this sequel? Second…shit. I don’t even know. I don’t remember anything about this trailer. Whatever. Do what you want, Hollywood. Enough stupid people will be into it.

Let’s move on.

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Steven Spielberg
Written by: Steven Moffat/Edgar Wright/Joe Cornish
Based on comics by: Herge

Tintin is one of the most popular characters in the world. Created by Georges Prosper Remi (aka Herge) in Belgium in 1929, he has become like Mickey Mouse to about 85% of the world.

So, you ask, why have you not heard of him? That’s because people in America don’t really care about what happens in any other country. Most Americans had never heard of Jackie Chan until Rumble In The Bronx in 1995. He had only been making movies for about 25 years before that, becoming the most famous man in the world. Why would we have heard of him?

I’m not saying that Americans are stupid. We’re just very insular. Many people see something foreign and they suddenly become uninterested. That really is a shame, though, because other countries make some amazing stuff.

Anyway, enough PSAs. Tintin is like a Belgian Mickey Mouse. He’s a boy reporter who was able to have 23 and a half adventures before Herge died in 1983 while writing the 24th. Sometime in the early 80s, a young director named Steven Spielberg became interested in Tintin because someone compared Raiders Of The Lost Ark to his adventures. Herge then became a fan of Spielberg saying that he was the only man who could possibly bring Tintin to life. Spielberg bought the rights in 1983 and has never let them go.

Skip ahead nearly 30 years when Spielberg goes to fellow Tintin fanatic Peter Jackson to see about using WETA to do special effects for a live action Tintin movie. Jackson says, “No! The only way to do it is motion capture and CGI!”

Agreeance!

I’ve never read a Tintin book, but I feel like I need to now that I’ve seen this movie. It follows Tintin (Jamie Bell) as he and his dog, Snowy, run amok all over the world. They meet Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), rescue him from smugglers led by Mr. Sakharine (Daniel Craig) and then search for treasure. There’s also the Inspectors Thompson (Nick Frost and Simon Pegg), two identical policemen who bumble their way through helping Tintin catch the bad guys.

And it all starts with a model ship.

This is a really fun movie with amazing animation. For just about the first time, motion capture isn’t totally creepy. I think it’s probably because they don’t try to make these characters look realistic. They look like slightly more realistic versions of the real comic book characters. (Watch for the analog drawings at the beginning of the film.) The 3D works beautifully, too. Not as essential as Hugo, but still a good addition to the film.

I think, though, that even if the animation was as creepy as Polar Express the movie would still be a lot of fun. Story and action go a long way and this one has both to spare. The action is basically non-stop, just like it would be in a comic book.

My only complaint is that maybe the story moves a bit TOO fast. I felt like we got caught up right from the start and there wasn’t enough time to really figure out what was going on who who these people really were. Then again, maybe that’s how it would be in real life. Just go, go, go and don’t stop to think.

I think I’ll have to see it one more time to really get a good feel for it. I had a lot of fun with it, but I think it may be a movie that a second viewing would give it another half star…maybe even a full one.

THE DEVIL INSIDE TRAILER

From the producer of the Paranormal Activity movies and (sigh) Insidious, this looks like Paranormal Exorcist. Lots of people (same person? not sure) getting possessed and then breaking their own backs. Oh, and found footage. Of course. We can’t make a horror movie anymore without found footage.

I dunno. Maybe I’ll check it out on video. I just don’t really want to give this guy THAT much more money.

Oh yeah, when the trailer said, “Based on a true story,” the whole audience laughed.

PORCO ROSSO (1992)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Hayao Miyazaki
Written by: Hayao Miyazaki

Hayao Miyazaki is one of the best directors alive today, live action or animation. The man is amazing. All of his films are at least entertaining on some level. There are some that I don’t like as much as others (don’t shoot me, but I’m just not that into Totoro), but they’re all great.

Porco Rosso is one that has always been on my list, but I’ve just never gotten around to checking it out. I mean, it’s about a pig who flies airplanes. Why does that sound good? Well, it has the name Miyazaki attached to it. That’s why.

Porco is the best pilot in the air just before World War II breaks out. He makes his living as a bounty hunter and rescues people from air pirates. He also happens to have had a spell put on him that turned him into a pig. This, of course, does not stop him from romancin’ the ladies. There’s one lady in particular that he’s had his eye on, but he’s constantly thwarted by Curtis, a fellow flying ace.

This was definitely a movie that I could not stay awake through just from sheer fatigue. It had nothing to do with the quality of the film because, you know, it’s Miyazaki.

Here’s the deal, though. This is Harry’s favorite Miyazaki film. He dressed as Porco for Halloween this year and just loves the shit out of this movie.

I don’t think it’s going to be one of my favorites. I just couldn’t quite connect with it like I did something like Princess Mononoke or Castle In The Sky. It’s a good film (note the four stars), but I don’t think it’s Miyazaki’s best. I will, however, give it another shot sometime.

CABIN IN THE WOODS (2012)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Drew Goddard
Written by: Joss Whedon/Drew Goddard

Joss Whedon did a LOT for the horror genre when he created Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It’s a real turning point for horror if only for the girl-centric plot of the whole thing.

Unfortunately, he’s also inspired a lot of rather uninspired clones over the years.

Cabin In The Woods is his way of knocking all of them down a peg or two…even if that’s not what he says it is.

I’m not allowed to do a detailed review here, but I can tell you that this movie kicked my ass. It’s so freakin’ smart, funny and full of turns that you don’t quite expect that it’s hard not to fall in love with it. It takes every trope of horror movies and turns them on their inverted ears in a way the Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson couldn’t quite bring themselves to do with Scream.

It’s been a long and winding road for this movie (it was filmed a few years ago, I think), but it’s finally coming out and I hope that it endears itself to lots of fans. It deserves it.

GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE (2012)

** (2/5)

Directed by: Mark Neveldine/Brian Taylor
Written by: Scott M. Gimple/Seth Hoffman/David S. Goyer
Based on comics by: Roy Thomas/Gary Friedrich/Mike Ploog

When Harry announced this one, I think most of the audience groaned a little bit. Seriously? Ghost Rider 2? Why would we want to see a sequel to that shitty movie?

Actually, he had the same reaction when Columbia asked if he wanted to screen it at BNAT. He said, “I need to see it.” He did and he thought it was completely different from the first one and kinda loved it.

Again, I’m not allowed to write a detailed review…but I’m not really sure that I could even if I wanted to. I not only couldn’t stay awake through it, I wasn’t interested enough to stay awake. Sure, Nicolas Cage is in Bad Lieutenant mode here, so he’s a lot of fun to watch while he goes through his weird faces and crazy voices. That, unfortunately, doesn’t make the movie particularly good. It’s good enough to be better than the first, but that’s not saying much. Really, only the kinetic direction (from the guys who brought us the Crank saga…they do know how to get into the middle of the action) and Nic’s craziness keeps it from being the worst movie at BNAT this year.

THE GREY (2012)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Joe Carnahan
Written by: Joe Carnahan/Ian Mackenzie Jeffers
Based on short story by: Ian Mackenzie Jeffers

Joe Carnahan is one of those directors that everyone just kind of lost faith in. When Narc came out in 2002, everyone thought that the 70s cop drama was coming back. It was a great story of dirty cops in a dirty world.

Then things started going slightly awry. Smokin’ Aces came out and no one but me liked it at all. No, I didn’t think that it was a great film, but I thought that it was fun. I was all alone. Then came The A-Team.

Done with that.

I really hope that The Grey changes peoples’ minds again. It’s the story of Liam Neeson vs. very large wolves.

Ok, it’s more than that. Liam and his co-workers go down in a plane crash in the snows of Alaska. Only seven of them survive. He is the wolf expert, so he becomes the de-facto leader, even if some of them aren’t so happy with that “decision.” The wolves pick the men off one by one as Liam becomes more and more of a badass and, actually, more full of regret and pathos. His mind is constantly on his wife back home. What happened to make him put his shotgun in his mouth just before he got on the plane?

No action movie is this, though. This is a dark action drama where the men are worse enemies to themselves than the wolves are. The infighting is believable and sometimes hard to watch. Even without the infighting, though, nature is stronger than man. This film never lets us forget that. Never…

This is a great film and I really hope that it brings Joe back in favor. He has pulled a performance out of Neeson that very well could be award caliber. Liam is one of my favorite actors currently working and I love that he’s become a thinking man of action. This is one of his best performances.

After this flick, we all piled onto buses and headed for the IMAX theatre down the road.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL (2011)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Brad Bird
Written by: Josh Appelbaum/André Nemec
Based on television show created by: Bruce Geller

Why the fuck can’t I dislike Tom Cruise movies anymore? Why the fuck does he keep making good movies while he, personally, still sucks?

Sigh. Whatever. The Mission: Impossible franchise has become his goto to make more money and, actually…they’ve become pretty goddamn great. After the mediocrity of the first and outright badness of the second, the third was awesome and the fourth is at least its equal. This has become the director’s franchise that Tarantino has always wanted the Bond series to become.

This time out, the IMF have been disbanded because the American government think that they have gone rogue. They were framed by a mysterious man (Michael Nyqvist, the original Mikael Blomkvist in the Swedish Girl Who… trilogy) who wants to start a nuclear war between Russia and the US. In fact, he has made tension run higher than it has since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

After the Secretary (Tom Wilkinson) is killed, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) is forced to go underground with his crew (Paula Patton and Simon Pegg) and the Secretary’s adviser (Jeremy Renner). The four of them become a well-oiled machine…even if their machines aren’t so well-oiled. In fact, that’s kind of a running joke in the film. None of their equipment seems to work quite right.

Funnier than the last film which, if I remember correctly, was a bit dour, Ghost Protocol is non-stop action and a LOT of fun. I’m not sure what made JJ Abrams and Tom Cruise entrust animation/Pixar director Brad Bird (The Iron Giant, The Incredibles, Ratatouille) with their baby, allowing him to cut his live-action teeth on the fourth installment, but it looks like their gamble paid off in spades. He handles the job like a pro and I hope it leads to more action flicks like this: fun, thoughtful and full of actual story.

A lot has been said about Jeremy Renner being a possible replacement for Tom if he ever decides to leave the series. They’ve been denying it, but I would be up for it. Sure, I don’t think Tom is going to leave his cash cow anytime soon. But if he does, they could do worse than Renner. He’s a really good actor and handles the action very well. Honestly, if this was Cruise’s last M:I film, I wouldn’t be sad. Brandt is a good character and could totally hold the franchise up.

By the way, I would totally buy this Saul Bass inspired poster. Why have I never seen it before? One of the best posters I’ve seen in a while.

So, that was it. One of the better lineups for BNAT, I think. Only two movies that really weren’t up to par, but they even had their place in keeping the flow. (Without Ghost Rider 2, when would I have slept?!)

Another Butt Numb-A-Thon down. I’m already ready for next year.

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Joe Wright
Written by: Seth Lochhead/David Farr

I haven’t checked yet, but I have a feeling that Roger Ebert didn’t like this movie too much.
But before we get to that, let’s hit some previews.

THOR–I’m STILL not sure what to make of this. It looks really silly, but I still want to see it. Kenneth Branagh probably does a decent job directing his first real action movie…maybe. I dunno. Thor is just kind of a weird, esoteric superhero. Still trying to figure out how interested I am.

THE TREE OF LIFE–This one, though, I’m sure about. Terrence Malick can do no wrong, in my book. Bring along Brad Pitt and Sean Penn and I’m extremely there. Looks to be another beautiful film that plays like poetry.

SUPER 8–I’m pretty sure about this one, too. JJ Abrams’ new film about kids who accidentally film a military train derailing with…something…inside of it looks to be the ride of the summer. It also looks to be a serious action movie! Not just another popcorn flick! I’m there.

Ok. That’s enough of that. Let’s get to the killin’.

Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) has been living in the secluded north for years with her father, Erik (Eric Bana). Not only has he taught her basic survival skills (including killing giant deer), but he’s taught her how to kill people twice her size. When she decides that she’s ready to see the real world, things get…more interesting.

Why has Erik been hiding with Hanna all these years? Why has he been teaching her these horrible skills? And why is a government agent named Marissa (Cate Blanchett) so intent on killing both of them?

Director Joe Wright really has no business being able to direct action this well. His first three films are basically, if you’ll excuse the term, chick flicks. They are very good films (although, I haven’t seen The Soloist yet), but they are not action films, by any means. Sure, Atonement has a few vague and short war scenes, but nothing that would point to action success.

Hanna, though, is what happens when you get a dramatic director at the helm of what is pretty much an action story: you get a real story. Sure, we’ve seen it before, but never with so much style and grace. Hanna is a character that is filled with pathos and true emotion, even though…well, that would be a bit of a spoiler. No, she’s not a damn robot. Shut up.

It really does help that Saoirse Ronan is a great actress. She takes what could have ended up just being Hit Girl: The Sequel (although, I’m all for that!) and makes Hanna into a vulnerable killing machine. She truly is just a young girl who, even though she doesn’t always understand why, just wants to hang out with boys and be friends with other young girls. But she has to be on the run and she has to keep killing. It’s not fair and the movie knows this.

(Speaking of Kick Ass, there is an acting connection to that movie: Jason Flemyng.)

Watch out for some very interesting imagery, especially towards the end. (I really want to go to that abandoned theme park in Berlin!)

The only real problem that I had with the movie was, unfortunately, Cate Blanchett. She did a great job. The fault is not hers. The writers just decided that she had to be a completely unrealistic, single-minded bitch. She was more comic book than the rest of the movie, which already seemed to have a bit of a comic book feel to it. But I think that she fell into the trap that a lot of comic book villains fall into: they’re not just unlikeable, they’re unrealistic for who they are supposed to be. This woman is a government agent, not Idi Amin.

There are also a couple of parts that just seem completely unrealistic. Hanna could not grab onto the bottom of a quickly moving Humvee while she is in a manhole without breaking her arms, no matter how strong she is. She’s not from Krypton. She also would not pick up the internet as quickly as she did.

Other than that, it was a very good action film with more drama than most action flicks could pack into three sequels.

This year I actually got to talk to Harry and he was about to tell me WHY I was chosen when he was distracted by a shiny object. DAMMIT!!! I need to know so I’ll know to do it again every year!!

Anyway, whatever the reason, I had my butt in a seat at the Alamo for 26 1/2 hours watching some awesome movies. Here’s how the night went:

We had to start off with the annual torture of one of the Alamo friends. Tim always tells him that he’s going to show Teen Wolf during BNAT and, every year, something “fucks up” and he doesn’t get to show it. This year he had a Dolby “representative” (actually Scott Weinberg in a Dolby shirt) guarantee that the screening would go off without a hitch because of their brand new digital system.

Of course, hitches happen and Scott gave Tim a check for $15,000 “on behalf of Thomas Dolby.”

Many yuks were had by all. Then the movies really started.

FAUST (1926)

***** (5/5)

Directed by: FW Murnau
Written by: Gerhart Hauptmann/Hans Kyser
Based on play by: Johann Wolfgang Goethe

FW Murnau’s Faust has always been pointed to as one of the more amazing achievements in silent cinema. The special effects are still pretty awesome to this day.

If you don’t know the story, you’ve probably been living under a cultural rock, but I’ll explain a little bit here. God and the Devil are hanging out and make a bet. God says that Faust (Gosta Ekman), a genuinely good man, can’t be corrupted. The Devil (Emil Jannings), however, thinks that he can, and he sets out to prove it. He comes to Earth as a man called Mephisto and gives Faust back his youth, helping a beautiful young woman fall in love with him.

Faust shuns him at first, but then decides to allow Mephisto to give him a trial run of a day. When that’s not long enough, Mephisto has him and it’s all over.

In its day, it was one of the biggest spectacles that audiences had ever seen. It’s still pretty spectacular, although it’s easier to see how they did all of it now. And Jannings is perfect as the slimy and underhanded Mephisto. He vamps it up and is generally evil in all the right ways.

The organ accompaniment was pretty perfect, too. I wish I could remember the guy’s name, but it’s been a few days. Anyway, he was great.

If you ever get a chance to see this movie, go. And, in going, be amazed.

THE LOVELY BONES (2009)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Peter Jackson
Written by: Peter Jackson/Fran Walsh/Philippa Boyens
Based on book by: Alice Sebold

Peter Jackson can probably do no wrong in Hollywood right now. Sure, King Kong didn’t do was well as everyone wanted it to do, but he directed and produced fucking Lord Of The Rings! Give that man anything he wants!

So they did. He wanted to do a small story this time out, so he chose Alice Sebold’s novel about a young girl named Susie (Saoirse Ronan from Atonement) who was killed by a neighbor in the early 70s. She narrates the story from a place called The In Between. Not quite Heaven, but definitely not Hell. More like a fantasy land that is almost like Earth, but much more surreal.

Meanwhile, her family tries to go on. Her dad (Mark Wahlberg) is obesessed with finding her killer. Her mom (Rachel Weisz) can’t seem to move on, but can’t stand what her husband is doing. Her grandmother (Susan Sarandon) is a bit of a drunkard who tells everyone that she’s 35. Her younger sister and brother are doing their best, but it’s hard when their parents can’t seem to cope.

Meanwhile still, the investigation is almost going nowhere under Len Fenerman (Michael Imperioli) doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. The killer (Stanely Tucci) is still at large and still living about 100 feet from Susie’s family.

I gotta tell you, two movies into BNAT this year and I was emotionally drained. The Lovely Bones was something that I usually don’t go in for: a beautiful movie. Not only was the story beautiful (Susie’s journey from needing to have revenge on her killer to just wanting her family to cope), but the In Between was beautiful, too. Surreal, dreamlike and heartwrenching at times.

I loved this movie. It’s long, but I don’t expect much less from Mr. Jackson. He knows exactly what to leave in and wheat to cut out, and he knows how to pull the heartstrings without making us feel like we’ve been duped into crying.

Maybe it’s not the best film out there, but it didn’t matter while I was watching it. And it still doesn’t matter to me. I kinda want to see it again. I don’t necessarily believe in any kind of afterlife, but goddamn, this movie gave me hope for kids who die like Susie.

GIRL CRAZY (1943)

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Norman Taurog/Busby Berkeley
Written by: Fred F. Finklehoffe/Dorothy Kingsley/William Ludwig/Sid Silvers
Based on play by: Guy Bolton/Jack McGowan

After Lovely Bones, we were all pretty much beaten down. As Harry said, though, what better to bring a room back up than a Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney musical?

Well, I can think of a LOT of things, but this’ll do.

Mickey is a rich playboy who is sent out West by his father to learn a lesson in life. Unfortunately for Mickey, the place he’s sent is an all boys school. No girls at all! What’s a girl crazy boy to do?!?!

Well, he doesn’t have to worry too much. This small town has one girl: Judy. And he instantly falls for her, even if she doesn’t fall for him so easily.

Of course, her grandfather is the dean of the school. And, of course, there’s a guy who she’s pretty much paired with. And, of course, hardly any of the other guys like Mickey. And, of course, the school is threatened with closure unless they can come up with money/applicants.

Car wash!!

Ok, no. No car wash. But there is a rodea, which they pronounce like Rodeo Drive in Hollywood, as opposed to an actual rodeo.

Hollywood. Psh.

It’s a pretty fun little flick, but I’m not rushing out to rent the rest of Mickey and Judy’s collaborations. There was, however, a pretty good Busby Berkeley number at the end. Busby was supposed to direct the whole movie, but he was fired after they filmed this one scene. Too bad, because the movie could have used some of Busby’s flair.

Of course, the script did have some gems like “The things you see when you don’t have a gun!” and “Money is just like women and popcorn: The more you get, the more you want.” I still don’t understand the gun line. The fuck was Judy saying?!

THE RED SHOES (1948)

**** (4/5)

Directed by: Michael Powell/Emeric Pressburger
Written by: Emeric Pressburger/Michael Powell/Keith Winter
Based on fairy tale by: Hans Christian Andersen

This is one of those movies that I’ve always heard about, but never seen. It’s a ballet movie and I have very little (if any) interest in ballet. Why would I care?

Well, it turns out that…um…I was right. This was the movie that I had the least fun watching at BNAT this year. But Harry didn’t program it. I’ll get to that later, though.

The Red Shoes is a fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen about a young dancer who wants to be the best dancer in the world. She buys some shoes from a shoemaker that make her dance perfectly…but then she can’t take them off and she can’t stop dancing.

But that’s not what the movie is about. The movie is about a young woman (Moira Shearer, who was really a ballet dancer) who is chosen to be the lead character in a new ballet based on The Red Shoes written by a young writer (Marius Goring). The two start to fall in love, much to the chagrin of the leader of the dance troupe (Anton Walbrook). He is emotionless and feels that his dancers should be, too.

The movie was really good, but I hated the two men. They were both jackasses. And the girl really wasn’t a whole lot better. Add to that a lot of scenes of ballet (which, I guess, were great) and I was just kind of uninterested.

The best thing about the movie (besides Moira being a beautiful redhead) was seeing how amazing the print was! Martin Scorsese’s film restoration crew have really outdone themselves on this one. It looked like it was made last year. The Technicolor was beautiful and made me miss that process a lot.

I’m glad I saw it, but I probably won’t revisit it.

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Martin Scorsese
Written by: Laeta Kalogridis
Based on book by: Dennis Lehane

Now we get to the guy who actually programmed The Red Shoes. Harry originally wanted to lead in to Shutter Island with Sam Fuller’s asylum masterpiece Shock Corridor. He wasn’t even sure if he would get Shutter Island when he got that print. He had to write a letter to Scorsese to see if he could show it and to explain what BNAT is.

Well, Marty wrote him back saying what an amazing idea BNAT is and how he wished that he could join us. But there’s just one thing: don’t lead in with Shock Corridor. Lead in with The Red Shoes. Here’s a print.

How do you say no?

There is actually a very direct link between the two movies, so I can see it. But I would have rather seen Shock Corridor.

Shutter Island, on the other hand, was pretty great. Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a Boston US Marshall in the 50s sent to a local criminal asylum to investigate a missing patient. His new partner, Chuck (Mark Ruffalo), was brought in from Seattle to help Teddy out. Why is it that it almost seems like the missing patient never existed? What is Dr. John Cawley (Ben Kingsley) hiding? Is Dr. Jeremiah Naerhing (Max von Sydow) a Nazi doing crazy experiments? And why can’t Teddy let go of his dead wife (Michelle Williams)?

It took me a little while to really get into this movie, mostly because the editing seems to be really awful in the beginning. Eventually, though, I realized what was going on and it all worked out. The movie is a mind-fuck of the highest order and it made me want to red the Dennis Lehane novel that it was based on in a way that Mystic River did not.

It may not seem like the most Scorsese-iest of movies, but he’s done well again. Keep up the streak, Marty. We like you being back.

LE MAGNIFIQUE (1973)

****½ (4.5/5)

Directed by: Philippe de Broca
Written by: Philippe de Broca/Vittorio Caprioli/Jean-Paul Rappeneau/Francis Veber

I wonder how much John Candy’s Delerious borrowed from this movie.

Bob Sanit-Clair (Jean-Paul Belmondo) is the world’s most famous secret agent. He shoots randomly into trees, hitting hitmen before they even know that they are hitmen. He sees through every disguise. And he always gets the girl (Jacqueline Bisset).

He’s also being written by Francois Merlin (also Belmondo), a writer who just knows that he can do something besides these crappy pulp spy novels. But they make him money to live off of and they’re very easy for him to write.

On the other side of his aparetment building is Christine (Bissett again), the young lady he’s slightly obsessed with. Can he win her over by letting her read his awful books?

The movie is way funnier than it sounds like it should be. It opens with the spy story and looks like the Zuker brothers and Jim Abrahams had decided to make a spy movie. (Oh wait…they did. It was Top Secret. But this is funnier!) It’s full of great slapstick and some awful puns that make you cringe and laugh at the same time. Add to that the Merlin side of the story that makes you feel for this guy and you’ve got a movie that even French haters can love.

Harry has been trying to show this movie for seven years. I’m glad that he finally got to. It was worth the wait.

MICMACS (2009)

***** (5/5)

Directed by: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Written by: Jean-Pierre Jeunet/Guillaume Laurant

I had no idea that Jean-Pierre Jeunet was even working on a new film, much less that he had one in the can! I would have been MUCH more excited if I had known.

Bazil’s (Dany Boon) dad was killed by a land mine when Bazil was very young. Thirty years later, Dany is shot in the head and survives. The doctors can’t take the bullet out without possibly making Bazil a vegetable.

Eventually Bazil falls in with a group of homeless folks who collect junk and make it into amazing things. He also finds out that the weapons companies that made the land mine and the bullet are right across the street from each other. The rest of the movie is a Rube Goldbergian plot to bring down both companies…and yet so much more.

If you’ve ever loved Jeunet’s films before, you’ll love this one, too. He brings his usual sense of humor and (shudder…I hate this word) whimsy to the screen and makes us fall in love with this ragtag bunch of geniuses, which includes his old standby, Dominique Pinon.

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Adam Green
Written by: Adam Green

Adam Gren has a lot of enemies in the horror world, and I’m not really sure why. Hatchet was a fun flick that didn’t try to be anything more and Spiral, while not brilliant, showed us all that he had some talent for something besides gore.

Now he mixes those two things to bring us something like Open Water on a ski lift. (On the fake lineup that Harry always posts, this slot was filled by Lifeboat. I can see why.)

Three college kids (Emma Bell, Kevin Zegers and Shawn Ashmore) are on a weekend ski trip. It’s Sunday and they want one more time down the mountain. They talk the lift guy into letting them go up one more time, but through a chain of events, they end up stuck on the lift. And the resort doesn’t open again until the next Friday. Now, how do they et down? And are those wolves they’re hearing?

That little premise holds a lot more fear than it seems like it should. Not only is there plenty of suspense, but there’s more emotion than you would think of coming from Adam. The two guys have been best friends since grade school and the girl is dating one of them. You can see where that’s going.

Not an amazing film by any means, but absolutely worth checking out. One of my friends who hates Adam said that this is absolutely his best film. He liked it quite a bit. If that’s not a recommendation, I don’t know what is.

THE CENTIPEDE HORROR (1984)

**½ (2.5/5)

Directed by: Keith Li
Written by: Amy Chan Suet-Ming

Hong Kong isn’t really known for thier horror movies…and there’s kind of a reason for that. Most of them are pretty silly. I mean, Mr. Vampire is a great movie, but it’s silly as hell.

The Centipede Horror really won’t win any converts for HK horror. In fact, it will probably make people run from the genre.

The movie was introduced to us as being horribly vile and banned in many countries. I don’t really understand what the hell Tim and Zack were talking about. Yeah, there were a couple of gross-out moments, but it really wasn’t any worse than most Hollywood movies now. Vomiting centipedes (real ones!) is gross, but it’s not as squirm enducing as they made it out to be.

A couple of young girls go from HK to SE Asia (they talk about it like it’s a country) for a quick vacation. They’ve been warned to never go there, but they go anyway and, of course, one of them DIES!!!! She’s killed by centipedes, which apparently have a bite so strange that no doctor knows what one looks like.

Her brother comes to SE Asia to find out what happened and gets trapped in a plot by an evil wizard who hates the guy’s grandfather. He’s cursing everyone in the man’s family to be killed by centipedes.

What’s really interesting about this movie is how quickly everyone is ready to jump on the “maybe it’s something supernatural” bandwagon. Someone trips and their friend says, “Maybe an evil wizard cursed you!”

It’s a pretty awful movie, but it’s funny in its awfulness. Possibly the worst movie of the day, but it was enough fun that I was able to enjoy it. If you’re a fan of bad, weird Asian cinema, see if you can find it. And watch for the broiled zombie chickens.

THE CANDY SNATCHERS (1973)

** (2/5)

Directed by: Guerdon Trueblood
Written by: Bryan Gindoff

The fake lineup movie for this one was The Lovely Bones. Heh.

Candy (Susan Sennett) is a 16 year old daughter of a jewel store manager. She gets kidnapped by three inept criminals who want a bag full of diamonds from her dad. What they don’t realize is that daddy isn’t too hip to getting Candy back.

I really don’t have a lot to say about this one. It’s an exploitation film that I don’t think made a really big impression on anyone except for the weird relationship that Candy developes with one of the kidnappers. It’s not supposed to be sexual, but it’s still a little bit creepy.

And then there’s the ending with the mute kid and his annoying mom. She’s SUPER-annoying. But her kid isn’t much better, really, and he’s suppoed to be sort of a hero of the movie…kind of.

IRON MAN 2 TRAILER

This was the only clip we had all night! I was a little surprised. It started out as an E! True Hollywood Story style bit about Harry with Jon Favreau, JJ Abrams and Michael Fucking Bay talking about how Harry nearly ruined their careers. Then Jon comes back and introduces the trailer. It looks pretty awesome, although I agree with one reviewer: Mickey Rourke’s Whiplash looks like he’s more of a danger to himself than to Iron Man. We’ll see, though. I’ll be there. You know it.

***** (5/5)

Directed by: Matthew Vaughan
Written by: Matthew Vaughan/Jane Goldman
Based on comic by: Mark Millar

I kind of can’t believe that they allowed a movie to be called Kick-Ass, but that’s really the only way that I could describe the movie, to be perfectly honest.

Dave (Aaron Johnson) is a geek. He’s a little bit obsessed with comic books and spends most of his time with his two buddies at a local coffee shop/comic book store. (Why hasn’t someone opened one of these up in Austin?!)

That’s where he gets the idea. The idea that will change his life forever. How come no one has ever become a superhero? So that’s just what he does. He goes out and buys a wet suit and walks around town until he finds some crime to fight…and gets his ass beat.

Kick-Ass didn’t have a very auspicious beginning, but he soon finds out that there are other people doing it…and they’re much better at it than he is.

Damon Macready (Nicolas Cage and his moustache) is a devoted father to Mindy (Chloe Moretz from (500) Days Of Summer and Hammer’s upcoming remake of Let The Right One In). So devoted, in fact, that he has taught her to kick some major ass…and he helps her steal the movie from everyone else.

Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong from Rocknrolla) is a gangster. He’s also a family man. His son, Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), goes to school with Dave, but he’s never able to make friends with anyone. Too many bodyguards. All he wants to do is fit in at school. And, of course, be just like his dad.

The movie wasn’t quite finished, but DAMN was it good! It never let up! The action only stops long enough to let some more comedy in. And there’s more than enough story and character to go around. It’s surprising to me that this was based on a comic book by the same guy who created Wanted.

I’m not really sure how this movie is going to find an audience, though. It’s a pretty hard R what with all of the violence and cursing being perpetrated by small children. (Mindy says things that would make a grown-ass man blush.) But I really hope that it’s a hit.

Kick-Ass comes out in April with a few CGI tweaks and a slightly different soundtrack. The soundtrack was a major source of consternation amongst the audience. It was fucking perfect the way it was! But Warner Brothers won’t let them use the Batman and Superman themes. That’s really too bad, because they’re used in scenes that are perfect with those themes.

Speaking of the soundtrack, there’s one scene where the audience burst out into applause and then started clapping along to the score. I’ve been to a LOT of movies in my life and that is something that I’ve never witnessed.

Yeah. We all loved this movie. It was my favorite of the day. Go see it in April.

Director Matthew Vaughan was at the screening and talked a bit about the casting process. Apparently, there’s a mother out there who was very upset with the fact that there was a masturbation reference on page three. She thought that it would give her 16 year old son bad ideas. Lady! Your 16 year old son had those ideas at LEAST three years ago! And he’s had those same ideas a LOT! Stop worrying about it!

Before I go, one more plea:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET MATTHEW VAUGHAN USE THE BATMAN AND SUPERMAN THEMES!!!!

GodDAMN, I can’t wait to see this movie again!

Ok. I’m done. On to the next movie

Visuals: ***** (5/5) Story: ***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: James Cameron
Written by: James Cameron

I really wish that Harry had ended the day with Kick-Ass, but whatever. The day ended the way it needed to, not the way we wanted it to.

We all know what Avatar is by now: James Cameron’s new half-billion dollar movie about aliens, environmentalism and 3-D.

But we don’t all know what it’s like. I do. I’ll tell you.

Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is a Marine who is now paralyzed. His twin brother was part of the Avatar project, which allows humans to go out onto a hostile planet without dying from the atmosphere. They are basically able to project their minds into artificial bodies of the local inhabitants. This also means that they can (sort of) blend in with the aliens.

The Marines are there to take a certain element from the planet, no matter what the inhabitants say. The unfortunate thing for all involved is the fact that the biggest deposit is right under the giant tree that the inhabitants live in.

The other unfortunate thing is that Jake is actually a little bit sensitive. While he’s in his brother’s avatar, he falls in love with one of the natives (Zoe Saldana) and decides that they deserve to live their lives the way they want to.

SHOCK!!

The other side of things involves Sigourney Weaver as a scientist who feels the same way as Jake and Giovanni Ribisi as an engineer (maybe?) who thinks that these “savages” need to get the hell out of the way of Earthling’s progress.

It’s Dances With Ferngully! Add in some comments about how “we ARE the terrorists” and you’ve got a modern fable about America and how selfish we are.

I dunno. The movie is decent as far as the story is concerned. Nothing special, though.

No one cares about the story, though. Not really. They’re going for the spectacle. And that spectacle is fucking amazing! The CGI is nearly perfect. (Still a bit cartoony for my taste, but that’s to be expected…kinda.) The 3-D is amazing. The world that Cameron and his crew created is beautiful. It’s absolutely worth seeing on the big screen in 3-D. Probably even on the IMAX.

I just really wish that he had attached a better story to those visuals.

Well, maybe next time…ten years from now.

That’s it from BNAT! It was actually a pretty amazing day. Harry fully admits that the last couple of years have been a little bit on the lame side. Not terrible at all, but not really want BNAT is all about. He’s remembered now and, hopefully, his mojo is back. We’ll see next year.

See you in the theatre. I’ll be right behind you.

I always try to check out this program just to see what the kids are up to these days. This year I lucked out and got to see what kids from MY old school are doing.

There were a bunch towards the beginning that were obviously just made in the spare time for class projects. They were one-off jokes that really didn’t go anywhere. But, whatever. Good for these kids for getting something on video.

I NEED SOME SLEEP–The first of the shorts that made me take notice was this video for the Eels song by David Kerr. It showed some real emotion and interest in its subject. (Even some special effects!) David has another video up on YouTube called Perpetual, which is what was actually on the list for this program. Check it out. This kid has some talent. Nothing amazing yet, but he’s got plenty of time.

I AM MIGRATION–This short documentary about immigration is by the students of Luling High School. (The director is actually a Canadian immigrant who is interviewed in the film, but they don’t list him in the program.) It’s an interesting view of immigration from kids in a rural school. Thy seem to have a much better handle on it than most politicians.

LA MEMORIA DE AMOR–Andie Flores tells the story of a man who loves his son. Now he’s trying to figure out why his son was taken from him. It’s a pretty sad little film that shows us that, while love doesn’t conquer all, it does help us through some pretty terrible times.

DRIVER’S ED–Here’s the one shot at my old high school and even features a guy I graduated with <ahem> years ago. It’s the story of a driver’s ed class where everything goes wrong. With invisible monsters in the back room and a sock puppet for a student, Mr. Daniels has his work cut out for him at Driver’s University Institute. And he’s not really the man for the job.

At 23 minutes, writer Ryan Summersett and director Alex Wolff desperately needed an editor. The pacing was pretty off from what it needed to be. BUT there were enough really funny ideas that this could have made a great 10 minute short. In fact, I’m giving it a review here for that very reason. The funny bits, while spread a little too thin, were pretty damn hilarious. Ryan and Alex just need to realize that their audience will see the jokes even if they’re not in a close-up or read out loud by an actor.

I didn’t review every short in the program. I’m sorry to the kids who didn’t get reviews here. It doesn’t mean that your stuff doesn’t show potential. Keep trying. Don’t let anyone stop you.

And, for the kids who did get reviews, keep up the good work. And keep getting better. I really think that you can.

ALABAMA MOON (2009)

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Tim McCanlies
Written by: Watt Key/James Whittaker
Based on book by: Watt Key

At this point I’ll see anything that Tim McCanlies does. I know he’s not the greatest out there, but his movies are entertaining and I enjoy them. And Iron Giant is one of the greatest animated films ever made. So there.

This time out he didn’t write the film. It’s based on what he calls “Alabama’s State Book” and the screenplay was co-written by the author, Watt Key and James Whittaker.

Moon (Jimmy Bennett from Star Trek, Shorts and Orphan)) just buried his dad. Literally. His dad was a conspiracy theorist of the worst kind. Not just tin foil hat time, but living in the woods and forcing his child to not trust anyone. “Never take anything from anyone and never owe anyone anything.” He may have been a loving father, but I was kinda pissed off at him all the same.

Moon runs around the forest for a while until he comes to a house. The house belongs to Mr. Wellington (John Goodman), who calls the cops, led by Constable Sanders (Clint Howard). Sanders takes Moon to the Pinson reform school where he meets Kit (Uriah Shelton) and Hal (Gabriel Basso). The boys plot an escape and live on the lam for a while.

The movie starts out really dark with a boy burying his rather neglegent father and then lightens quite a bit to be a boy’s adventure. But there’s always that darkness looming. Sanders isn’t your typical Home Alone style bad guy. He’s actually kind of threatening in a way. Sure, I pretty much knew that he wouldn’t win, but he put a leash on Moon! Seriously?! (Clint put in a really good and funny performance.)

I did enjoy the movie, but I wouldn’t say that it’s going to win McCanlies any new fans. It’s darker than anything he’s done before and certainly more serious in tone, but it’s hard for me to say that it’s better or worse than his other films. I enjoyed it, but not everyone will. I think it’s tone switches a little too often for many peoples’ liking.

And what the hell is up with people in Alabama being so quick to call someone else white trash? You’re from fucking Alabama! Is there anything else there?!?

But no matter what you think of the film, DAMN John Goodman is comforting. He’s great at playing a weirdo bad guy in Coen Brother’s films, but I sure to love it when he plays good guys. There’s a scene where he grabs Moon in a huge bear hug and lifts him up and carries him away. That kid is safer in John Goodman’s arms than he would be anywhere else in the world.

THE FOURTH KIND (2009)

*** (3/5)

Directed by: Olatunde Osunsanmi
Written by: Olatunde Osunsanmi/Terry Robbins

Speaking of comforting, Elias Koteas has become one of those actors lately. Even in a terrible movie like The Haunting In Connecticut, he is a comforting factor that just makes you feel like everything is going to be alright…even when you know it isn’t. There’s just something about his voice and mannerisms. He’s everybody’s dad.

In The Fourth Kind, Koteas plasy the Scully to Milla Jovovich’s wigged out Muldar. Dr. Abigail Tyler’s husband was murdered by an unknown assailant right in front of her eyes, but she can’t remember what the man looked like. She is carrying on her husband’s work to find out exactly why so many of Nome, Alaska’s residents disappear. She is doing psychiatric studies on three people who have seen owls outside their windows at night. The owls stare at them all night long and keep them awake.

But are they owls? When put under hypnosis, the subjects have violent outbursts and say that they weren’t owls. They were something much, much worse.

Koteas is Dr. Tyler’s friend and personal psychiatrist. He comes to Nome to make sure that everything is alright when one of her subjects commits a heinous crime.

From here on out, things start to go very strangely for Abigail and her two kids. Was she abducted by the same owl-shaped aliens as her subjects? Why is the sheriff (Will Patton) trying so hard to make it seem like she’s crazy? What does Abigail’s son know about his father’s death?

Writer/director Olatunde Osunsanmi has created a very interesting web of a story. The movie opens with Milla Jovovich introducing herself and telling us who she is about to play in the film. She explains how Osunsanmi has actual footage taken from Tyler’s studies and an interview that he conducted with Tyler in 2002.

How much of this do I buy? Well, I don’t know. My friends swear that they’ve seen Dr. Abigail Tyler before in other films playing other characters. I don’t know that I’ve seen her, but I think she looks like a less attractive Julianne Moore.

In a post-Blair Witch world, I don’t know that I believe anything that is supposedly “true” in movies anymore. Anything can be faked and hyped to seem real.

What I do care about is the “actual footage” used in the film. Sunuvabitch, it’s creepy stuff. It’s less alien abduction and more demonic possession.

And is that the point? The abductions seem to all take place at 3:33 am. Is this another film of Christian propoganda?

Whatever. It’s a creepy damn movie. I don’t know that it’s particularly good, but the images in that “real footage” will stay with you for a while. And Dr. Abigail Tyler is a scary, scary woman.

***½ (3.5/5)

Directed by: Chris Carter
Written by: Chris Carter/Frank Spotnitz
Based on tv show created by: Chris Carter

Before we hear those familiar six notes, let’s hear about some previews.

STAR WARS: CLONE WARS–Didn’t we already see this on Cartoon Network before Episode III came out? That was pretty awesome. But the animation here looks…corny. It just didn’t really catch my interest like the shorts did. I’m not really sure what Lucas wants to accomplish with this (except more money), but I’m sure I’ll see it at some point. It just, curiously, isn’t on the top of my list.

Sad.

LAKEVIEW TERRACE–Samuel L Jackson is in angry mode again as a pissed off cop who lives next to a normal couple (Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington). He starts to terrorize them. Who do you call when the cops are on your back?

This is a Neil LaBute film, so I’m sure some uncomfortable unpleasantness follows.

Ron Glass shows up as (I think) a lawyer…although he’s not on the IMDb page yet. Curiouser and curiouser.

Looks pretty good. I might check it out.

Ok. On with the creepy.

I gotta admit, the main reason that I got into “The X-Files” was because of the first movie. My buddies were all into the show, but I just couldn’t get into it. And then Fight The Future came out and I jumped on it. For most people, it was the other way around. “That movie sucked and I hated the show after that.”

Yeah. Whatever. Fair weather fans.

A lot of people dropped off after Doggett and Reyes were introduced and Scully and Mulder were less of a focus. Well, the show was still decent. (In fact, a few episodes from that period were pretty great.) People were just pissed that they weren’t seeing their favorite characters anymore.

So, when they started talking about a new movie, I knew that the backlash would start immediately. “Why the fuck do we need a new X-Files movie? Didn’t that show end in a whimper?”

Well, yeah. I kinda did. They didn’t resolve anything and Mulder and Scully just kind of settled in to be non-agents in their happy couplehood knowing that the end of the world was coming…but they didn’t know when.

When is now. Kind of.

Mulder (David Duchovney) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) are living in a secluded farm house where they figure that no one will ever bother them again. Scully has been working as a doctor at a hospital run by a church while Mulder has been…um…gathering evidence? I’m not really sure. He’s introduced in his office (which looks like his office in at the FBI) with a Dr. McCoy beard.

They’re being called back into action because a young FBI agent has been kidnapped. That, in itself, wouldn’t be enough to get all of the charges dropped from Mulder’s case (because he is kind of a wanted man), but Agent Whitney (Amanda Peet) wants Mulder’s expertise because they have a rather interesting person helping them on the case. He’s a pedophile priest who claims to have visions of the kidnapping. Father Joe (Billy Connolly) may just have a few other secrets up his sleeve, too.

And so begins the latest adventure of Scully and Mulder. Even when they leave the Bureau, they can’t seem to get away from it.

But the movie almost seems to be less about the case (which is fairly interesting, if not wholly involving) and more about Scully and Mulder’s relationship and his obsession with the Truth. Even though this case has nothing to do with the mythology that we all grew to be a little bit tired of towards the end of the show’s run, the mythology and the conspiracy pervades the entire movie because it’s all that Mulder can think about. Yes, he’s out of the FBI. Yes, he’s led a semi-normal life for the last six years. But he seems willing to let go of Scully in order to start it all up again.

The movie gets back to the dark look of the first few seasons. (The Canada Years, that is.) That’s interesting since cinematographer Bill Roe didn’t join the team until they moved the show to California. I guess he watched enough of John S Bartley’s work on the first few seasons to finally get the look down. It fit the story of snow-covered kidnappings and strange medical experiments perfectly.

Speaking of those strange medical experiments, it seems that Chris Carter has taken up the cause of stem-cell research. Good for him, but it almost kind of got in the way of the narrative here. There’s a side-story where Scully becomes obsessed with curing a young patient. The only way is through painful surgery involving stem-cells. But the way he equates it to the experiments being done by the kidnappers almost sends a mixed message.

But that message is clear when Scully and Mulder first show up at the FBI building and they see a picture of George W Bush next to J Edgar Hoover. Funniest moment in the movie.

It’s not a perfect movie by any means. It’s pretty somber and, at times, not as involving as it should have been. But it is entertaining and pretty creepy at times. It’s like a decent “Monster Of The Week” episode.

And that may be where the problem lies. The first X-Files story in 6 years probably shouldn’t be just another episode. It should have been exciting and full of intrigue…and maybe some actual supernatural goings on. Father Joe is sort of supernatural, but was he? Or was he just a con-man?

The Truth is out there…somewhere. Just not in the this movie.

DREAD

**½ (2.5/5)

Directed by: Pete Travis
Written by: Barry Levy

I love Dennis Quaid. There’s just no getting around that fact. And don’t lie! You love him, too. You would watch him in the crappiest romantic comedy version of the phone book ever made. He’s like a kick-ass 80s version of Russell Crowe…except with a sense of humor.

Which was part of the reason that I’ve wanted to see Vantage Point since the first preview I saw for it. That and it seemed like kind of a political thriller (in a world where I love that sort of thing) and it has a great cast (Quaid, Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Forest Whitaker and that dude from “Lost”). But most of all, it just looked like a good action movie with some sort of brain behind it. After all, William Hurt wouldn’t be in a movie without it being pretty smart, right?

Well, after accidentally walking into a theatre showing Meet The Spartans (GADS! I’M BLIND!!!), I finally made it into the right place to find out.

Basic rundown: The president (Hurt) is about to start a summit to end the War On Terror. He’s meeting in Spain with the leaders of five nations known for harboring terrorists. This, of course, has made him quite the target. If it works, though, it could make him actually popular again, throngs of protesters outside the gates of the public welcome conference not withstanding.

Thomas Barnes (Quaid) is a Secret Service agent who has taken a bullet for the President before. He’s still a little shaky, but they’ve put him on the case, anyway. His young protege’, Kent Taylor (Matthew Fox), has vouched for him, so all is good in the world. But when he starts to see things in the upper levels of the courtyard where everyone was supposed to be cleared from, he starts to second-guess himself.

Of course, that’s when all hell breaks loose. The President is shot, possibly from the window that Barnes saw something in, a bomb goes off down the street, and then another one goes off in the courtyard. Everyone has a different point of view. (Hence, the title. Ooooh.) Howard Lewis (Whitaker doing old-school, pre-Idi Amin Forest here…”Oh! Isn’t it wonderful!?”) has a lot of it on his camcorder and Rex Brooks’ (Weaver) news crew has some on their cameras. But who is behind all of it? And what does the President do now that his double has been shot? (It’s in the previews, folks. Don’t scream at me.)

With all of that going on, you would think it would be non-stop action. And, well, it kind of is. And the story is even pretty interesting with more people in on it than you could shake a twist-ending at. Here’s the problem, though: Director Pete Travis (who has only done unknown television before this) decided to wrap the whole thing up in a gimmick that doesn’t always work. In fact, I started getting really annoyed with it at about the second time we saw the same footage that ended with an “Oh…..my……..GOD!” moment from Quaid. (Two DIFFERENT moments, mind you.) In movies, we don’t want cliffhangers every ten minutes. SHOW US THE FUCKING VIDEO!!!

We start at the beginning, following the news crew in their van and seeing everything that they see. Then, after the explosion in the courtyard, we back up and get the same story from Barnes’ point of view. Then we back up again and see it from someone else’s point of view. The movie doesn’t become the movie I really wanted it to be until about half an hour from the end. THEN it becomes a pulse-pounding action flick where no one is quite who they seem. We even get some of that political thriller that we were promised in the preview with one of the President’s aides trying to get him to bomb a friendly country. But even that is kind of played out as an afterthought.

None of this is really mentioning all of the weird holes going on in the plot. What exactly is it that Howard is seeing in the window? There was no one up there, so who was the form? And can you really do all that with an iPhone? I know they’re pretty amazing pieces of technology (as long as they’re working), but come on! Seriously?! I’m not buying that.

I also didn’t know that Spain had such a large terrorist network going on inside of it. Any Spaniards out there know about this? And, if not, does it kinda piss you off?

This is a hard one to really recommend. That last half hour is pretty intense and almost makes up for all of the cliches of the first hour, although it has it’s share of cliches. I really could have done without the “shaky Secret Service guy” bit and the weird Spanish soap-opera (involving Eduardo Noriega from Abre Los Ojos and The Devil’s Backbone) that takes over for one part. And there’s a car chase that really does make up for all of it.

But that first hour is kind of hard to slog through. I think some people might like it, but I’ve seen it far too many times to be enamored of it. I just wanted them to get on with the story. And that’s too bad. Because I REALLY wanted to like this movie a lot.

Tony Scott brings us yet another movie about a young guy (this time a CIA agent) being trained by a retiring guy. But as hackneyed as that plotline is, this time it looks like it could be quite good. Lots of action and paranoia. Could it be that Tony is trying to make an unofficial sequel to 3 Days Of The Condor with its star like he did with The Conversation and Enemy Of The State? As long as it’s as good as that one we’ll be alright. Hopefully it’s better, though.

FRAILTY–Matthew McConaughey comes out of hibernation (or does it only seem like he’s been away for a while–that last movie he was in (The Wedding Moron) was a big hit, but does anyone remember it?) to play the brother of a possible serial killer.

The problem with the preview is that I didn’t really get that from it. I’m not sure what I got from it, but it wasn’t that. Looks like it could be good, anyway. And Bill Paxton not only plays Matt’s brother, but he directed it, too. Hope it’s good. I’ve always like ol’ Bill.

THEATRE OF BLOOD–Wait a minute! This is an old movie! That’s one of the pleasures of seeing a new movie at the Alamo Drafthouse. They show old trailers that go along with the movie. This one is an old Vincent Price flick where he plays an actor who kills himself after he gets bad reviews. (If only some more recent actors took this advice…just kidding…maybe.) But then the critics start being murdered in horrible, bloody, nasty ways. Is Vince still alive? Is he a ghost? And is that Jeff Lynne from the Electric Light Orchestra standing next to him on his throne? Weird. I’ve got to seek this one out. Looks like a hoot. (Wait. Did I just say “hoot”? What’s wrong with me?)

TIME AFTER TIME–This one I have seen and it’s, well, pretty good. Malcolm McDowell plays H.G. Wells and invents a time machine. David Warner plays Jack the Ripper who promptly steals Wells’ time machine and comes into the modern times. Mary Steenburgen plays Wells’ love interest. It’s pretty much just late 70s/early 80s cheese, but it is a cut above.

Now for the real movie:

The Hughes Brothers, who have until now been known as “black directors,” have decided to take on the Jack the Ripper story.

Johnny Depp plays Inspector Frederick Abberline, one of the best detectives in Whitechapel (one of the worst slums in 1888 London). He’s actually semi-psychic, but the only time he seems to see things is when he’s in the opium den. Sgt. Peter Godley (Robbie Coltrane from GoldenEye, The World Is Not Enough and, of course, The Pope Must Diet) has to come in and wake him up every once in a while to make sure he gets his job done. But he’s usually on the job, and when he is he’s brilliant.

This is when Mary Kelly (Heather Graham not doing too badly this time, although she looks a little rougher than usual…go figure), a local prostitute, and her friends start being butchered one by one. But it’s the way they was done. ‘Twas the way they was done that calls for a man of Abberline’s talents.

So Abberline and Godley start following the trail of the Ripper (although they rarely ever call him that), start realizing that it must be an educated man, get stopped by some of their superiors and start losing hookers left and right. And, and Abberline and Mary Kelly start to fall for each other.

As far as history goes this movie is almost complete bullshit. There was no connection between the victims (except that they were all whores, sorry, “unfortunate women”) and, as far as I know, there was no great psychic after them. This seems to be a conglomeration of all of the myths and theories about Jack that popped up years later. Things like the thought that it may have been a prince or one of his minions.

Unfortunately, according to one of the top profilers in the business, John Douglas (he was the basis for Scott Glen’s character in Silence Of The Lambs), Jack was most likely just some lower class bum who was just passing through, maybe even retarded. A far cry from the distinguished gentleman we’ve all come to know and fear.

So the history is questionable. But as entertainment this is some great stuff. The Hughes Boys know exactly how to build the suspense and make you fear an unseen character. AND they know that you don’t have to show every gory detail. Yes, it’s a gory movie, but there’s more implied gore than actual screen gore. They’ll sometimes give you flashes or far away shots, but rarely will it be up close and personal. That makes it all the more real, like we’re actually flies on the wall as opposed to the corpse.

But it was still too much for some people.

The attention to detail was pretty amazing, too. Never ones to go out of their own time (except for the disowned Dead Presidents…but that’s not too much out of our time) the Hughes Bros. have proven that they can do it better than a lot of the posers out there these days.

Johnny was, of course, awesome as the haunted inspector who has to save his love from a killer as he tries to save himself from “the dragon” of opium. Kind of an “Ichabod Crane Gets Serious” type of role. More Sherlock Holmes and less Angela Lansbury.

Robbie, always undervalued as a dramatic actor, was also great as his ever as Abberline’s ever-tortured friend and co-worker who has to keep up with his boss all the time and keep him from knowing how worried he is about him.

It’s a great little horror/suspense film about our first serial killer. It does something that we always try to do with horrific events: it tries to make sense of it. This event may be far in the past, but we’re still trying. And maybe a movie like this will help us to take our minds off of another, more recent horrific event that we just can’t make sense of.