So, what happens when you move to LA and your dreams don’t exactly work out the way you planned? You’re not the actor you thought you were. Or maybe you just haven’t had the chances you thought you would have.

Well, there is one solution that a lot of people take: become a superhero!

If you walk along Hollywood Blvd. near the Chinese Theatre, you will most likely be inundated with folks dressed as movie characters. Most are fine, some are ridiculous and some are just a little bit nutso. But they all have one thing in common: they work for tips.

This is the story of four of them: Wonder Woman, Superman, Hulk and Batman. All four have different stories and all four show a different aspect of the job. And they all try their best to abide by the rules. (Don’t go up to citizens, let them come to you. Don’t pester them for tips, but remind them that you do work for tips. Don’t cross the private/public property line.)

Superman (Christopher Dennis) is the most obsessed. He has what he says is about a million dollars worth of Superman memorabelia. His girlfriend is a psychologist. Go figure.

Batman (Maxwell Allen) is the craziest. He looks like George Clooney’s ugly brother and has a mysterious past that he alludes to, but won’t expound on. Did he actually kill someone? Does he have a trail of mangled bodies in his wake? His wife thinks not.

Wonder Woman (Jennifer Gehrt) is probably the most well-adjusted of the four and probably has the most chance of becoming at least a minor actress. She’s cute, young and at least a little bit talented. But her love life is a little strange.

The Hulk (Joe McQueen) also has somewhat of a chance, but we never actually see him act. He was homeless for a couple of years and now just barely scrapes by with the money he makes on the Blvd.

This is a great doc about people on the outskirts of society, but right in the middle of our pop culture. To some they’re a nuisance, but to some they’re providing a very strange service. We really get the feel for these folks and, even though they are a little bit on the odd side, I never got the feeling that they were being made fun of. Matt Ogens has managed to make us laugh, but not let us feel like assholes for doing it. We feel a little bit sorry for them, but we also know that they’re just making a living.

Check it out if you get a chance. It’ll give those “weirdos” on the Blvd. a whole new angle.

BORDERLAND

When Hostel was released a couple of years ago, we hadn’t really seen a movie like that since the 70s. And even then they were coming out of Europe.

Now, with Borderland, it looks like everybody is getting in on the action. And the strange thing is that it doesn’t feel like Zev Berman is just stepping all over Eli Roth’s toes. He’s made a movie that is all his own and, although comparisons are inevitable, it didn’t feel very similar at all. (Except for the fact that there’s an Achilles’ tendon shot to a guy wearing grey boxer breifs.)

This time, instead of going to Europe to be dismembered, we’re going to Mexico. The story, actually, is based on an actual case from about ten years ago when a bunch of kids went to Matamoras and were killed by cult members.

Ed (Brian Presley), Henry (Jake Muxworthy) and Phil (Rider Strong) decide to celebrate the end of high school by going to a border town to drink and get laid. Well, Henry and Phil want to do that. Ed is just along for the ride. But he ends up meeting Valeria (Martha Higareda) and actually forms a connection with her. Funny, that.

Unfortunately, Phil catches the eye of a cult member and all hell breaks lose. He is kidnapped and tortured, mainly by Randall (Sean Astin–Samwise, NO!!!!), the only white member of the cult.

It’s up to Ed, Henry, Valeria and an ex-cop (Damian Alcazar) whose partner was killed by the cult a year ago to rescue their buddy.

This was a very disturbing movie. Partly because of the movie itself, but also because I remember the case that inspired it. It was a pretty big deal here in Texas and it scared a lot of people from going to Mexico for a long time. In fact, when I went down there a few years ago, my family was still scared for me. Crazy, huh?

Is it better than Hostel? I don’t know. I liked Hostel quite a bit, so I think they’re pretty equal. There may be a bit more character development and it’s not as sensational, but they both have their good and bad points. The acting was good pretty much across the board and the bad guys were very menacing. And the torture scenes were really hard to watch.

And, really, isn’t that what we’re after here? Gore, a good story and characters we care about. And Rider Strong getting the shit kicked out of him. He seems to love being in these gore flicks, doesn’t he? Maybe he’ll make us forget about “Boy Meets World” soon enough.

Nah.

When a young man is told not to do something, it often leads to him doing it with more fervor than if he had never been told about it in the first place. That’s what happens when James’s (Tadhg MacMahon) mother dies. She told him over and over to never have any contact with his grandparents. He hasn’t seen them since he was three years old. He’s married now and is ready for a visit.

What he finds in the tiny Canadian farm community is more boringly horrific than anything in any movie I’ve seen since the original Pulse.

Actually, it’s not THAT bad, but it is a little bit on the slow and painfully drawn out side. The story here is a good one (and the twist at the end is interesting and for a good cause since it was inspired by true events), but a lot of what undercuts it is the acting. There’s not a single good actor in the entire film. And the dialogue doesn’t really help much, either. It’s pretty stiff and uninteresting.

What I think needs to be done with this film is a major rewrite and a reshoot with different actors. Then maybe it would be as horrific as director/writer Philippe Spurrell and co-writer Joel Asa Miller had hoped it would be.

WHOLE NEW THING

What happens when a home-schooled 13 year old gets sent to a public school for the first time? Hilarity!

Ok. Not really, but a very good movie does get made about it.

Emerson (Aaron Webber) is a brilliant kid who has already written an epic fantasy novel called The Fires Of Evermore. The only problem with his home-school education is his math. He just can’t do it. Oh, and the fact that he doesn’t know how to react to anyone but his family and their friends. But that’s always beside the point to parents who decide to home-school, isn’t it?

When his mom decides that their hippy, back-to-the-Earth lifestyle isn’t enough for Em, she sends him to the local public school. And he fits in really well with his long, goth hair and strange ideas about sex roles.

Can you hear the sarcasm? Good, ’cause I’m layin’ it on pretty thick. On the first day he gets punched.

The only friend he feels that he has is his English teacher, Don Grant (Daniel MacIvor who also co-wrote the screenplay). Unfortunately, he starts to fall in love with his new teacher. He doesn’t see it as a gay/straight thing. It’s just a “closeness” thing.

Great acting all around and an awesome script make this, so far, the best movie I’ve seen at the festival. I’m always amazed when a young actor is willing to go to the places that Aaron goes here and actually does it well with no self-consciousness. He’s very good in a role that, in lesser hands, would have been hard to watch.

Every character here has so many layers that it would be hard to try to introduce them all here. Don’s not just a teacher, he’s a man with an ex that he can’t get his mind off of no matter how many random men he meets in a local rest stop. Emerson’s parents aren’t just hippies who are out to save the world, they’re a normal couple with problems of their own that don’t necessarily include their son.

Whole New Thing is a great film that I hope gets some kind of success. It’s already on DVD in Canada. I have no idea what the plans for it are here in the states, but I hope that director/writer Amnon Buchbinder can get at least some sort of theatrical release.