aka SEXO CANIBAL, aka MANDINGO MANHUNTER
Directed by: Jesus (Jess) Franco
Written by: Julián Esteban/Jesus Franco (as Julius Valery/Clifford Brown)
I really wish that I could tell you more about this movie than I can. It was so absolutely uninteresting and unmemorable that I lost all interest within about 20 minutes and started doing other things while I was watching. Counting the lines on a piece of notebook paper was WAY more interesting than this piece of crap.
Basic rundown: a model gets kidnapped and taken to a South American country where a cannibal tribe ties her up and tries to bring out their cannibal god. (Not only this, but within 10 minutes she gets sliced, molested and raped. That’s the thing about these old European horror flicks: they don’t care what happens to their lead victims. Especially if they’re women.)
Meanwhile, the titular hunter comes to South America to save the model and be a mercenary hero.
In addition to not caring about the victim, director Jesus Franco (who directed about 14,698 other movies in this same vein) also doesn’t care about consistency or accuracy. There is a white dude playing bongos in the native village. Seriously? What’s he doing there? Is he supposed to be a native? Or is he just kind of aligned with them? Is he a former victim?
The one thing that was kind of interesting about the movie was the constant equating of celebrity to cannibalism. It’s a bit trite, but it’s at least a point, which many of these movies don’t ever seem to have.
The acting, direction, dubbing and writing were all atrocious, but it was a special kind of atrocious here. It was the kind of atrocious that makes me not care what the fuck is going on in the movie or out of the movie. I was just kind of sitting there with spittle running down my face as horrible and boring things happened on the screen in front of me.
Fuck you, Franco. You did this to me. And it’s time for me to move on.
LOW POINT: I could just say “The whole fucking movie,” but I think I have to go with when the bad guys cut a breast off of the victim and then raped her. Gross. I think that’s what happened. My brain has melted.
We could also go with the alternate title “Mandingo Manhunter.” Ugh. Just…ugh.