Don’t Go In The Woods (1981)

Seriously. Stop going in the woods. It’s real dumb.

Overall Rating:

Nastiness Rating:

Directed by: James Bryan
Written by: Garth Eliassen

Some kids don’t heed the warning in the title. Bloody mayhem ensues. Actually, it takes about 45 minutes for the killer to get to the kids. He goes after all of the middle-aged hikers first. And, BOY, do they deserve it. They’re awful. Well…awful stupid, anyway. He slashes it to about 15 people before he ever even sees the kids. I don’t know why, but I kinda like that. It’s not a killer going after kids just because they’re getting high and fucking. It’s a killer who seems to be protecting his woods from people who are just going to defile them.

And it turns out that he is a crazy old woodsman. He’s a giant of a man who throws spears like a madman. (‘Cause he is.) He’s not a particularly interesting killer, but he gets the job done over and over again.

This movie was made on the super cheap and it shows. There are some imaginative kills, which I like. The people are all pretty interchangeable, which is unsurprising. I mean, these folks are sub-Friday The 13th level characters. If no one cares about the kids on the Jason movies, no one in the world of the movie even knows the people in this one.

If it wasn’t for the kills and the obvious love of the genre going on here, this movie would be completely forgettable. In fact, if it wasn’t a Nasty, it would have been forgotten. But there you have it.

LOW POINT: The first 45 minutes where nothing happens. Just…nothing.